LNHX: Manga Man #1: LNHX Origins #3

Martin Phipps martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Thu Nov 10 02:52:52 PST 2011

                                   MANGA MAN #1

                                  LNHX ORIGINS #3

  So here's the deal.  All I had to do was grab the Legion of
Net.Heroes while they were making a scheduled public appearance.  The
boss gave me these people tow work with, two women and two men, named
Amnesia, Angst, Apathy and Anger.  He called them "The Four Horsemen
of Procrastination".
  "So how come they aren't riding horses?" I asked.
  "You dare question me?" he asked.
  "I mean, they're supposed to be horsemen," I said.  "They aren't
even all men."
  Darksnide grinned.  "Humans are a superstitious lot.  When the time
comes they will ride horses and mankind will tremble with fear."
  "Fair enough," I said.  I mean, a job's a job, right?

  The Legion were making their first public appearance as a group.
There was their leader, Nick Furry; his right hand man, the Master
Blaster; the enigmatic Occultism Kid; the equally mysterious Kid Kirby
and their latest recruit, Irony Man, whom most of the crowd already
seemed to know.
  "Ladies and Gentlemen!" Nick Furry said.  "I give you, the Legion of
Net.Heroes!"  That got a round of applause.
  So the plan was to let The Four Horsemen work them over and then I
would move in.  You see, Amnesia caused people to forget what they are
doing, who they are with, where they are, why they are there and how
they even got there.  That puts anybody at a serious disadvantage.
Angst, on the other hand, makes you remember everything.  Absolutely
everything.  If you had a hard time potty training then Angst will
make you dredge up that memory and worry about how disappointed your
mother must have been.  Apathy, on the other hand, will cause you to
stop caring... about anything.  Your job, your marriage, your
children, your Farmville crops, suddenly none of it will seem
important anymore.  Meanwhile, Anger will make everything important,
every single detail, and all of it will be the fault of whoever
happens to be a convenient target to lay the blame on.  The net effect
is confusion, fear and mistrust.
  The best part is that they could do their job from a distance.
Amnesia struck first.
  "Let me introduce you to them," Nick Furry said as he pointed to the
Master Blaster.  "This is... um..."
  "Boss!" he said.  "It's me!  The Master Blaster!"
  "Um..." Nick said, clearly disorientated.
  Then Angst struck.
  "Boss, please, how could you forget my name!  After all these
years!  Does it mean nothing to you that I've worked so hard!  My God,
all those people we've killed together.  Did it... did it mean nothing
to you?"
  Then Apathy struck.
  "I sense we are under a psychic attack," Occultism Kid said.  "Maybe
I should put up some defenses.  Or maybe I'll just go find somewhere
to sit down."
  Finally, Anger struck.
  "You know," said Irony Man, "I've changed my mind.  I don't want to
join this group after all."
  "What do you mean?" Kid Kirby asked him.
  "I mean I was doing fine enough on my own.  What do I need you guys
  "You are a man in a suit of armor," Kid Kirby said.  "Without that
armor, what are you?"
  "Millionaire, genius, you name it, I'm it.  What about you?  Aren't
you just some guy in a fancy suit?"
  "I?  I am... Kid Kirby!  You will pay for that insolence!"
  This was going to be good.
  "Oh, really?" Irony Man said.  "Well, good.  I've been wondering
what that suit of yours could do!"
  Beams shot out of Kid Kirby's gloves and Irony Man was thrown off
the stage.  Occultism Kid had already gotten down off the stage and
was already sitting down with the audience, the audience which was now
screaming in panic and getting the Hell out of there.  The Master
Blaster took no notice: he was too busy reliving his childhood and
wondering if his parents loved him or not.  And Nick Furry just stood
there: he figured one of them was some alien menace and the other was
a hero who was here to save everyone but for the life of him he
couldn't remember who was who.
  "Not bad," said Irony Man as he got back up onto the stage, "not bad
at all.  Now let's see if you can stand up to my repulsive rays!  Ha!"
  Irony Man fired his repulsive rays at Kid Kirby who just stood there
like they were nothing.
  "Uh oh," Irony Man said.
  That was when Kid Kirby jumped on top of him and started beating him
to the floor.

  "We are supposed to take them alive!" Angst told me.
  "Shh!" I said.  "My own armor is no match for either of them.  Let
them beat themselves silly first and then I will move in and take them
both out!"
  "Who did Darksnide put in charge of this mission?"
  "And do you want to defy Darksnide?"
  "Well then," I said.  "Just be patient."

  "I wasn't at full power before," Irony Man said, "and I wasn't at
point blank range like I am now."  Irony Man managed to roll onto his
back and aim his gloves at Kid Kirby who suffered the full brunt of
Irony Man's repulsive rays.
  Kid Kirby staggered back.
  Irony Man got up.  "And now you will pay for... wait...why are we
fighting again?"

  "That's it!" I said.  Eventually the five of them would fight off
the psychic assault and regain control.  I couldn't let that happen.
I moved in behind Kid Kirby who was still disorientated from Irony
Man's attack and placed an armor freezing device on his shoulder.  I
then teleported Kid Kirby back to one of Darksnide's holding cells.
  "Who are you?" Irony Man asked.
  I was still in radio contact with The Four Horsemen.  "Amnesia!
  "Wait," Irony Man said.  "Where am I?  What am I doing here?"
  "I'm your friend," Manga Man said.
  "I don't think so," Irony Man said.  "If you were my friend then I
would remember you."
  I whispered into my com.  "Angst!  I need some help here!"
  "I mean, how could I forget a friend?  I mean, if you were really my
friend then how could I forget you?  What kind of friend would that
make me?"
   I walked right up to Irony Man and touched him on his shoulder.
"There, there!" I said.  With the armor freezing device in place, I
send Irony Man to a second holding cell.
  "That's two down!" I said.

  "Who the Hell are you?" Nick Furry said in an accusing tone.
  "You don't remember me, do you?" I said.  "We served together in
iRaq.  Oh, but wait," I pointed to my full face mask, "I wasn't
wearing this back then."  I smiled under my mask.  "Not that it
matters.  You wouldn't remember your own mother as long as Amnesia has
her power over you."
  "Why you mother--"  I teleported him away before he could finish.
  "Such language," I said.

  I found Master Blaster lying on the stage in a fetal position saying
"I'm sorry" over and over again.  I kicked his gun away and teleported
him to a holding cell: I was actually doing him a favor; as soon as he
was out of Angst's range he would start to regain his senses.  Not
that it would do him any good: there was no escaping from Darksnide.
  Finally, I needed to find the Occultism Kid.  I looked around and
saw him sitting in one of the chairs that had been placed in front of
the stage: he was doing something with his iPhone.  Maybe he was
sending a text message or updating his Facebook status or maybe he was
just playing a game.  Who knows?  I didn't bother to check before
teleporting him away.

  And that was it.  It was done.  I had defeated the Legion all by
  The Four Horsemen all looked at me angrily.
  "What do you mean you defeated them 'by yourself'?"
  Damn.  I knew these guys were psychic but I didn't know they could
read my mind!

                                 TO BE CONTINUED

Manga Man based on Manga Man created by Craig Thomas Judd
Amnesia based on Amnesia created by Jeff Barnes
Angst based on Angst created by Jeff Barnes
Apathy based on Super Apathy Lad created by ag392 of yfn.ysu.edu
Irony Man based on Irony Man created by Doug Moran
Nick Furry based on Nick Furry created by Jeff Barnes
Master Blaster based on Master Blaster created by Robert Ramirez
Occultism Kid based on Occultism Kid created separately by August Paul
Yang and Josh Geurink
Kid Kirby based on Kid Kirby created by Jameel Al Khavitz


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