[MV] The Super Wizard From Space #22: The Super Funeral Of Sharkasaurus Rex, Part 1

[Wil Alambre]

On the side of a small lake, a simple man was fishing off the end of a
rickety dock. The lake was usually a clear blue, filled with many
delicious fish. It was not so now. It was murky, tinted pink and red,
the fish preferring to stay closer to the bottom, where the water was
cleaner and lines could rarely reach. It meant the man would be lucky
for even a small catch, but that would be enough. He lived alone on this
shore, in his cabin up the hill, and had only himself to feed.

But today, it sounded like he had company. He heard the rat-tat-tat of
wooden sandals clattering down the dock toward him and someone out of
breath. Looking over his shoulder, he saw it was Yohei, the rice farmer
who lived on the other side of the hill. He looked to be very excited,
having apparently run all the way from his home.

"Hanaya!" Yohei called out, grinning widely. "Huff huff huff! Wondrous
news! Wondrous things have happened! Huff huff!"

Hanaya put down his fishing rod and stood up slowly. His knees creaked
with age, he smoothed out his long silver whiskers with a hand. "Does
this news have anything to do with why I cannot easily catch a meal
anymore?"

"Yes! Oh yes!" Yohei exclaimed, trying to catch his breath. "The sky has
fallen! The ultimate constellation, great Star Beast itself, has been
slain!"

"What? Are you certain?"

"On the grave of my grandfather, I swear to you! Word is spreading
across the land, that the constellation fell out of the night sky,
dragging the ghosts of our ancestors from heaven! That it crashed
against the Stairs To The Skies, stole the Gong Ago that hung between
them, then plunged under the mist to devoured half the valley!"

"Terrible tragedies!" Hanaya shouted, wide eyed with horror.

"The survivors speak such tales that would turn your blood cold! Teeth
the size of palaces, ripping up streets and cities in single mouthfuls!
The devastation was so vast that the Invisible Monks themselves
descended the Stairs To The Skies to slay the beast... struck it down
with a blow so mighty it darkened the skies and caused the monster to
burst!"

"Burst?"

"Yes! That is why your lake is so bloody, Hanaya. It is why your fish do
not bite. It is the remains of their guiding stars, they are lamenting
on the silt bottom."

Hanaya clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and muttered a
prayer of thanks to the Invisible Monks, the guardians of heaven that
lived above the mist.

Yohei placed a hand on Hanaya's old shoulder with an excited grin.
"There is more news."

"More? Inconceivable!"

"The gods have demanded a funeral! A great festivity in the valley! The
guardians of heaven are to host the gods beyond space, to mourn the dead
constellation! To this task, the Invisible Monks have sent messengers to
all the rice farmers under the mist, to harvest all their crops for a
magnificent feast!"

"So much food? Who for..."

"Look!" Yohei pointed out at the lake.

Standing on the water's surface were two half-visible figures, more like
mirages than anything else. They stood with abnormally perfect posture,
one wearing the oranges of a sunset for his etherial robes while the
other had wrapped himself in the black of the night sky. The two men
clapped their hands together, bowed their heads humbly, and closed their
eyes, too much in awe to look directly at their divine visitors.

Hanaya blubbered through his veneration. "I am honoured to not gaze upon
your righteous forms and welcome you to my simple home."

The invisible figures pulled out gongs of incredible metals and rung
them in unison. When they spoke, they spoke with one voice, in harmony
with the tone. "Sharkasaurus Rex, his rampages now over, the universe
grieves." They rung their gongs a second time. "You  have been summoned,
to climb the Stairs To The Skies, to serve and attend." They rung their
gongs a third time, then turned and faded completely from sight after
taking a step and a half.

Hanaya and Yohei kept their heads bowed and eyes shut for a long count,
until they were certain the holy messengers had gone. When they finally
peeked, they grasped each other by the shoulder, slapping the other with
vigorous congratulations.

"Haha! You were telling the truth! What news!" exclaimed Hanaya.

"Yes! Yes! Is it not exciting? To climb the Stairs To The Skies! To
stand in the very presence of the living Dharma! To witness a gathering
the which has only been told of in stories!" cheered Yohei.

"New stories have to be written, I think! You must tell me everything
when you return!"

"I will not need to, old neighbour of mine! This was what I have run
over the hill to tell you of! That divine calling was not for me. It was
for you!"

Hanaya staggered back, a hand on his heart. "Me? But what place have I
amongst the giants of time and space? I am but a mere..."

Yohei's grip of Hanaya's shoulders became solid, and he shook the old
frame in overwrought seriousness. "Do not speak so! You are famous for
your craft across the valley and across the continent and across Amity!
Is it any wonder that the Invisible Monks, in all their meditations
above the mists, have not heard of honourable Hanaya and his art? Who
else would they have?"

Hanaya was shocked silent. He tugged at his beard. This was an amazing
event, so much more than what he imagined his simple day would be like.

Yohei pulled Hanaya, leading him off the dock and toward the little
cabin. "Come! Come! Get ahold of yourself, old fool! You must pack light
and pack quickly! Over on the other side of the hill, my tired wife and
my twenty-four children are overloading my cart with ever scrap of rice
my farm can provide. You will ride with me, I will take us to the base
of the mountain!"

And so, with constant prodding and rushing, the two of them eventually
got to the farm over the hill. Yohei took a moment to kiss his wife
goodbye and to hug every one of his two dozen younglings before both men
boarded the dangerously full cart and started down the winding gravel
road.

They travelled for days, over rolling hills of green grass, past lazily
rolling rivers, through sparse bamboo forests. They slept under the cart
at night, enjoying a meal of steamed pork buns and egg rolls. 

"They say there is no such thing as wind," whispered Yohei as they
watched the tops of trees swaying, "That it is the monks striding along
the branches, each step as light as a thought." 

As they crossed the countryside, they were joined by other carts, all
equally loaded with bundles and bundles of freshly harvested rice.
Everyone shared tales of recent visitations by the Invisible Monks,
always in pairs, always a bright orange robe and a dull black robe.

Eventually, the growing caravan arrived at the mystic valley, nestled at
the most perfect point on the equator. Flanking the thin land were two
colossal peaks, said to be the tallest mountains on the entire world.
Their tops disappeared up above the mists, rumoured to lean on the very
gates of heavens. Only the Invisible Monks have climbed their dizzying
heights, asking the stars and winds to teach them the secrets of inner
peace.

"Look there!" called out Yohei, pointing to the end of the road. At the
base of the mountain sat two great figures, taller and larger than any
man. They were cross-legged, each on a perfectly round boulder across
from one another, balanced and in holy harmony. One was a massive gecko
like lizard, green as the richest of fields and radiating a warmth like
a summer day. The other could nearly be his twin, a great lizard as grey
as the thickest fog, commanding and cold like the start of a winter's
evening.

The caravan came to a stop before them and, as a whole, disembarked and
prostrated themselves before the sacrosanct guardians of their world.

"I bid you welcome!" said the green lizard with a peaceful grin and a
bow of his head. "I am Brody Dharma."

"I bid you welcome," said the grey lizard in a passive tone and a
practiced nod. "I am Andy Dharma."

"The Invisible Monks, the students of heaven, humbly thanks you for your
swift assistance in this astounding event," said Brody. "With the final
passing of a most venerated space-champion, it has been our honour to
host guests from across vast spans of space and time. The Infinite
School Of The Infinite Ocean see all forms of death as freedoms to be
celebrated, not mourned, so we celebrate their beliefs by celebrating
ourselves."

"We will eulogize as the great shark himself would; with a great feast,"
stated Andy, who gestured to the foot of the stone steps. "You and your
fellow farmers will unload your wares at the base of our humble homes.
From there, our students will whisk them up to a million great pots of
boiling water. You will be handsomely rewarded for your tribute with
payment in silver. Traded pound for pound for your rice."

The farmers looked upon them in shock. Silver! Enough to purchase all
the land they ever wanted, to hire all the labour they craved, enough to
make mansions of their clay and wooden shacks.

Yohei was the first to clap his hands and bow deeply. "A thousand
appreciations on your house!" he exclaimed, they began hurriedly
unloading his cart. The other farmers quickly shouted out praises and
followed suit.

"And what of me?" asked Hanaya quietly of the holy lizards, yanking at
his whiskers nervously.

"Ho ho ho! Why, you have the grandest honor of all... you will prepare
Sharkasaurus Rex himself!"

.........................................
Wil Alambre, follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/wilalambre