LNH/META: New Issue of Beige Midnight... TOMORROW!!!!!!!

[Arthur Spitzer]

"I'm sorry -- but I have some bad news for readers of Beige Midnight," 
said Greatest-Most-Awesome-LNH-Villain-Ever Master Man in a solemn 
manner, while sitting in a nice comfy recliner.  "I know all of you 
Beige Midnight readers were hoping that I'd make an appearance in Beige 
Midnight -- because you know that would have been awesome.  But it 
doesn't look like that is going to happen.  And it's sad.  It's very 
sad.  Because it would have been -- awesome.  Totally awesome."

"I had all kinds of awesome ideas for Beige Midnight.  First thing -- it 
would have turned out that the Bryttle Brothers were hired thugs working 
for me.  Yeah, that would have been awesome.  And then I would have 
easily beaten the LNH -- which would have been awesome too.  And the LNH 
would have been so blown away by my awesomeness that they would have 
unanimously made me their leader.  Which would have been -- do I even 
have to say it -- yeah, awesome.  Totally awesome.  And of course it 
would have been weird -- I mean me the greatest LNH foe -- and leader of 
the LNH?  At the same time?  Yeah, tell me about it!  But you can bet on 
one thing -- it would have been Freaking Awesome.  Awesome with a 
capital T."

"And what after that Awesome Fest -- do you think would happen?  Why I'd 
fire all of the male LNH'rs leaving only the female LNH'rs on the team. 
  And then you know what I'd do?  I'd turn the LNH into a All Girl Rock 
Band.  Freaking Yes I would.  I know.  Awesome.  And then I'd be like 
its manager.  And we'd tour the world and solve mysteries with our 
mystery van.  And my bro Charlie Sheen would guest star.  And there's no 
need to say that it would simply be the Most Awesome Thing Ever!  Ever! 
  Yeah."

"But sadly I guess it's just a little too awesome for those tight wads 
that run Beige Midnight.  And that's sad.  Sad for you -- the fans.  And 
what is stopping me from being a part of Beige Midnight, do you ask? 
Just a little money.  A mere two million dollars -- for each issue I 
appear in.  That's all.  Just two million.  And I know what you're going 
to say -- why not do it for less money?  But I can't do that -- because 
if I did do that -- I'd be only doing it for the money.  Not for the 
Art.  You can't do Art for cheap.  Art costs money.  You want a Van Gogh 
-- you have to pay the big bucks.  And if you want Awesome -- well, you 
know it -- got to pay the big ones."

"So that's the story.  And I feel sorry for you the fans.  Yep.  Because 
Beige Midnight could have been awesome.  And now -- we can only imagine 
what could have been.  And we are all lesser for that."

"And oh yeah -- they're coming out with Beige Midnight #8 tomorrow.  And 
I guess there are going to be villains and stuff like that in it.  But 
what's the point?  I mean I'm not going to be in it.  Charlie Sheen 
isn't going to be in it.  And mostly importantly -- Awesome -- isn't 
going to be in it.  So, what's the point -- I ask you.  Yeah.  A bummer 
isn't it.  I guess that's life."

"So since there's no point in reading Beige Midnight tomorrow, I suggest 
you instead reread Beige Countdown #0 -- so you can relive the 
awesomeness that is me.  Greatest-Most-Awesome-LNH-Villain-Ever Master 
Man.  It's brilliant -- at least the part of it that has me in it. 
Haven't read the rest of the issue.  I can't believe I didn't win a 
RACCie for my performance.  I guess those RACCie voters -- they just 
don't understand awesome.  And I pity them for that."

"Here's the link:"

http://www.lnhq.info/archives/beige-countdown/0

"Feel free to skip all of the parts that don't have me in them.  Enjoy!"

"Also here's my roster entry -- so you can find out how completely 
awesome I am.  Feel free to print it out and put it over your bed."

http://www.lnhq.info/wiki/Greatest-Most-Awesome-LNH-Villain-Ever_Master_Man

"And while it's too late to save Beige Midnight #8, perhaps there is 
still time to save the rest of the series.  So please go to this link 
below and sign this petition so maybe those tightwads will realize what 
a horrible mistake it would be to not have me in an issue of Beige 
Midnight."

http://www.lnhq.info/wiki/Make_Beige_Midnight_Awesome_Petition

"Please.  If you love God, America, Charlie Sheen, and the Concept of 
Awesomeness.  Please sign this petition.  Do it for the children."

"Thank you."






TOMORROW.

BEIGE MIDNIGHT #8

PLANET MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!


(Sadly Greatest-Most-Awesome-LNH-Villain-Ever Master Man will not be in it)



Arthur "Awesomeless" Spitzer