LNH: Digital JUMP! #7, GRIPPING! Space-Time Energy Projector!

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat May 14 21:17:13 PDT 2011



...From the files of the Molybdenum Age...


Digital JUMP!

Written by Andrew Perron
Cover art by Steve Stone

Issue #7 - GRIPPING!  Space-Time Energy Projector!



The cover features a gigantic Baron Macnottherealvillain, lit ominously 
from below, cackling and holding up a golden spade in one hand and a 
golden lighter in the other.  Kid Enthusiastic and Like Rogue pose in 
shock and resolve on his left, Casey, Malachite and the Faded Iron 
Master do the same to his right. In the lower-right corner sits an 
overly-stylized logo proclaiming "Warriors of Light: Part IV!"



KNOW, O PRINCE, THAT: Kid Enthusiastic, Casey von Aluminumfoil, 
Malachite Wendigo, Like Rouge, and the Faded Iron Master are on a quest 
to stop the evil Baron MacNottherealvillain from getting the Four 
Atavists.  They've split up, and both teams have reached the places 
where the Atavists are kept - only to find Barons at both!



Setting: An arctic fortress on the nameless planet of the Silver City!  
Kid Enthusiastic watched from atop his probably-friend Like Rouge's 
shoulder as the bad guy they had been chasing made a dramatic 
appearance.  He pulled out the interdimensional walkie-talkie. "We've 
got the Baron over here!  Skip merrily to our dimensional coordinates, 

"Er..." came Casey von Aluminumfoil's crackly response. "We've got him 
over here, too."

Kid Enthusiastic gasped. "I knew it!  He's actually a member of the 
Baron MacNottherealvillain Corps, using the emotional energy of mild 
annoyance to commit crimes!" But Casey had hung up, so he turned back 
to the team of evil giant robots that the aforementioned Baron had 
apparently teamed up with.

One of the robots stepped forward, a lithe figure (well, for a robot) 
in browns and blues with epaulets on its shoulders. "So," it hissed, 
gesturing to the Baron, who stood and smirked at the heroes, "our 
fleshy friend tells the truth."

"Indeed, Meitnericus," said another robot, its body blocky yet 
effeminate, in a heavily synthesized voice. "But will the--"

"Bah!" shouted Hassitron, the regal, caped robot they'd fought before, 
pushing his way to the front. "Stop introducing yourselves!  You're 
Rotengenwon, the tall robot in the back with the wings is Copernicron, 
now let's destroy these interlopers!"

Copernicron chuckled metallically. "Still smarting from your 
ignominious defeat, eh?" Nevertheless, he pulled out a pair of blades, 
snapping them together into a single weapon.  Meitnericus and 
Rotengenwon followed suit with a spinning sword and an axe shaped like 
a guitar.

"Generals of the NefariKingdom..." Copernicron shifted into a fighting 
pose. "Roll."

They charged forward in a wave of mechanical malevolence.  The magical 
metal of the Solar Sails met their attack, and battle was joined.

Solar Storm met Meitnericus's blade with a field of crackling 
electromagnetic force.  Rotengenwon's axe swung over Solar Ice's head 
and was deflected by Like Rouge's Quarterstaff of Magic Missile.  Kid 
Enthusiastic parasailed off Like Rouge's shoulder as a salvo of 
missiles launched from Hassitron's arms, only to be burst by a pinpoint 
proximity mine, courtesy of Solar Bay.  Solar Stream caught 
Copernicron's weapon with a length of glowing chain, and they stalked 
in a circle of standoff until Solar Tide raised her hands; a flurry of 
tiny, crescent-shaped lights shot out, exploding against the General's 

Making a perfect seven-point landing, Kid Enthusiastic noted that there 
was something missing here *other* than a kickass fight theme.  Where 
was Baron MacNottherealvillain?  Rolling away from the battle, he 
spotted the fiend walking through the gates of the great steel 

"Guys!" he shouted, turning around just in time to dodge a faceful of 
sharpened alien metal. "Sweet troll Jegus!"

"Focus on the fight!" shouted Like Rouge, kicking Rotengenwon's knee 
servo out of alignment.

"But the Baron, he's going after the Atavist!"

She cursed colorfully. "Must get--" She stepped forward, only to be 
tripped up by an errant swing. "Bah!  Kid Enthusiastic, we'll take down 
these mooks - you stop the Baron before he can claim his prize!"

"I'm on the job!" Kid Enthusiastic saluted and activated his 
rocketskates, zooming into the fortress after his quarry.


On the continent of Atanasoff on the world of Tellus Digita, Malachite 
Wendigo wondered why it always had to be the hard way.  The Emperor of 
Chi-Gamma, who ruled this land and held the Atavist they had come for, 
had *naturally* teamed up with Baron MacNottherealvillain.  Of course.

She looked over to Casey, but he was on his interdimensional walkie-
talkie, and the Faded Iron Master had drawn back away from the Imperial 
Palace gates at which the Emperor and the Baron stood; she knew that 
this would let him make a dramatic entrance later on.  She shook her 
head.  All her life she'd known him, and it seemed that with each year 
he'd only become sillier.

A phalanx of guards, dressed in a golden version of vaguely Roman 
armor, marched out and took up positions around the gate.  The Emperor, 
a spiky-haired man with a regal bearing dressed in robes of royal 
purple, took the opportunity to break the silence. "So these are the 
enemies of the realm that you mentioned?"

The Baron nodded, supremely confident. "The very same, my lord.  Shall 
we tell the guards to haul them off to the deepest, darkest reaches of 
the dungeon?" He began to cackle triumphantly.

The Emperor considered. "I think not.  We shall instead give them the 
opportunity to plead their case before the court."

The Baron stopped short mid-cackle. "But-- what court?"

"The Imperial Court, of course, where the onus of jurisprudence falls 
on the Emperor alone."

"Sir, you don't know what these people are like.  You can't--"

"Can't I?" The Emperor turned to the Baron with a dangerous eye. "I 
should think carefully before dictating terms to my clear superior." He 
turned away, leaving the Baron gaping and speechless, speaking directly 
to Casey and Mala. "State your case."

Casey opened his mouth, but Mala poked him in the arm, touching her 
temple and thinking as hard as she could at the telepathic boy. .o(Let 
me do the talking - I've dealt with royalty before!)

Casey nodded. .o(Okay, but be careful - there's something screwy going 
on with the Baron.)

Malachite bowed low, Casey imitating her. "Your grace, we come from 
another world.  We seek the Four Atavists, one of which you hold, so 
that we may free that world from the rule of a mad tyrant."

The Emperor hmmmed, his expression penetrating, yet amused. "Some call 
me a mad tyrant."

"True, your grace, but you haven't destroyed ancient, irreplaceable 
buildings filled with history and culture because their names had 
rhotic vowels in them."

"I must say, that is both mad and tyrannical.  Yet my friend here," and 
he gestured to the clearly discomfited Baron, "says that you are the 
ones serving the forces of chaos."

Mala thought of Kid Enthusiastic.  Well, they weren't *serving* him. "I 
know not how to prove my case for certain, but I will submit to any 
test you might give."

"As will I," said Casey.

"As will I," said the Faded Iron Master, stepping out from behind a 
column and bowing.

The Emperor nodded, completely unsurprised, stroking his chin in 
consideration. "An impressive display of trust.  And you?" He turned to 
Baron MacNottherealvillain, levying the full strength of his gaze upon 
him. "What would you offer up, to match this humility?"

The Baron stared at him, expression empty, then broke and ran back 
through the gate into the depths of the palace.

"He's going for the Atavist!" Mala shouted, trying not to sound *too* 

"Indeed." The Emperor pointed, and his personal guard pursued the 
fleeing figure as one.


Kid Enthusiastic zipped through the aliensteel corridors.  Let's see, 
what did he have in his backpack?  Slingshot, hydrogen fuel cell, tarot 
deck featuring the cast of The Facts of Life, no tea, half-finished 
treatise on the use of punctuation in code names, the Transreliquat 
Vigilant Valkyrie had given him, a thermos with the rest of his mint 
chocolate drink, the Essential Brightsword hardcover... aha!  Perfect!

He could see Baron MacNottherealvillain up ahead, turning to a shadowy 
side corridor.  Kid E swung around in a 90-degree arc and followed 
behind, the shadows lengthening, the passage opening up, revealing a 
huge dark room with a huge dark throne and a huge dark figure sitting 
in it.  He skidded to a stop.

The figure stirred from its reverie, rising, stretching to the vaulted 
ceiling. "Yessss?" it whispered in a rough, resonant contralto. The 
Baron flew up, tiny next to it; he spoke words Kid E couldn't hear, but 
could definitely see the effect of.

"WHAT!?" Torches burst into blazing life around the room, and the 
figure was revealed.  It was another robot, larger than the rest, in 
purple and gray tones.  It wore a jeweled, spiked helm, and its form 
seemed both bestial, though with curves much like the Solar Sails had.  
On its back were wings like some great looming moth. "So, the final 
battle is upon us.  It is time to prepare!  ...eh?  Ah, yes.  Take it, 
then, and battle in my name." A giant hand opened, and in it was a 
golden spade, the Atavist of Earth.

Time for action! "Stop right there!" shouted Kid Enthusiastic into a 
handy megaphone/bubble maker.

The gargantuan robot turned.  When it saw Kid E, it laughed. "What 
manner of germ is this, who dares to challenge the power of..." Wings 
flapped, and arms spread dramatically. "Queen Transuranium Butterfly!"

"Don't take me so lightly!" Kid Enthusiastic held up a graphing 
calculator. "I've upgraded the Enthusiastic Plane!" He leapt into the 
air, beams of flickering green light shooting off in all directions.  
As he spun end-over-end, they plotted graphs in the air which flashed 
into solid existence.  In moments, Kid E was surrounded by a rough 
humanoid form, rising to the height of the room, made of glowing white 
polygons and looking like an early attempt at 3D rendering. "Meet the 
Enthusiastic Volume!"

"Isn't that just a ripoff of Skysabre's Projector form from Dvandom 
Force?" said the Baron, eyebrow raised.

Kid E sputtered. "W-- I-- Have at you!" He reached for the Baron, but 
he zipped out of the way, grabbed the Atavist, and headed for the door.  
The Enthusiastic Volume turned, but Queen Transuranium Butterfly 
grabbed it by the shoulder.

"Face the one you provoke!" She spun him around and punched the force 
structure in the virtual gut.  It didn't actually hurt, but the panel 
flashed through the visible spectrum and the dramatic special effects 
module let off sparks and smoke.

Kid E activated the Mobile Fingerpaint System and flipped out of the 
Queen's arms.  The Enthusiastic Volume strafed quickly to the side, 
sliding in circles around her. "Y'know," he chirped, "I'm not much of a 
physical fighter!  I mean, I've trained a bit, I can dodge and roll, 
but I usually stick to blasting from the back row!"

"This base characterization means nothing to the NefariKingdom!  Hold 
still!" The Queen shot a bolt of eldritch energy, but it missed the 
swift glowing form.

"So I figured if I was gonna use this thing for melee combat, I'd want 
to be rolling Int checks instead of Dex!  Thus..." He punched in a 
rapidfire sequence of numbers on the calculator.  The Enthusiastic 
Volume swung around the Queen and delivered a leg sweep, following it 
up with a barely-dodged elbow drop. "Preprogrammed combat macros!"

"Hah!" laughed the Queen. "Yes, very good!  Very smart!  The 
electromagnetic energy of your organic nervous system will be a special 
treat." She charged at Kid E; he dodged, but it was a feint, and her 
claws raked the glowing form, forcefield snapping and curling in 
painful colors.  He fell back, smoke rising from the flickering panel.

"Mwahahaha!" As the Queen cackled maniacally, the Enthusiastic Volume 
palmed a metallic spheroid and flicked it into her open mouth. "None 
can defeat-- umph!"

"Eat electromagnetic pulse, lady!" Kid E cheered as the Queen 
spasmed... but the spasms suddenly stopped, and she straightened fully.

"Hah!  You are a skilled tactician.  But your efforts are for naught.  
None can defeat me but Solar Tide... and she is impotent without this 
power!" The Queen's chest plate slid away to reveal a shining silver 
sphere. "The Source Argent!"

"Seriously?  Okay!" The Enthusiastic Volume flashed into a green 
wireframe and dissipated, revealing Kid Enthusiastic holding up the 
Transreliquat. "Adapt to the form of artifice!"

The Transreliquat shone with a coruscating spectrum of red, blue and 
purple, seething, shimmering and metamorphosing until it became a 
sphere that shone with exactly the same silvery hue.  Kid E saluted, 
spun on his heel, and rocketed off.

The Queen blinked, then snarled and gave chase.  


The guards marched into the palace, Mala, Casey and the Faded Iron 
Master close behind, the Emperor of Chi-Gamma bringing up the rear.

"The Atavist of Fire is a hand-sized golden object," said the FIM. 
"Rectangular, with a top that flips back."

"He will be headed for the Vaults, then." declared the Emperor.  He 
directed the soldiers with a wave of his hand. "You, go straight down 
the corridor; you, take the back passages and cut him off at--"

"HAH!" Before anyone could react, Baron MacNottherealvillain swept down 
from the shadows, grabbing the Emperor in a single swift motion.  He 
backed up against the wall, holding his impromptu captive to his body. 
"Nobody move!  Your precious Emperor is my hostage, and now--"

The guards started snickering, covering their faces and looking at each 
other.  Mala raised an eyebrow, and Casey shrugged.

"What?" said Baron MacNottherealvillain. "What?  WHAT!?"

The Emperor closed his eyes and calmly spoke. "O eudaimon, FURYVOLVE 
this one into..." Skin turned dark and scaly.  Muscles bulged and bones 
lengthened.  Limbs twisted into not-quite-reptilian form.  Long claws 
popped out of hands and feet.  A shining helm covering the face and 
topped by great horns scintillated into being, followed by a suit of 
armor with the symbol of the Imperial House of Chi-Gamma on it. 


The now-ten-foot-tall Imperius broke the Baron's grasp easily.  He 
lifted his body and, with deceptive grace, swung him through the air 
and into a historic stone-hewn column.  The Baron's body was literally 
flattened by the impact; his arm popped off and his head cracked open, 
revealing circuits, wires and plates.  A synthesized death rattle 
escaped his mouth as his body fell to the ground.

Mala gasped. "He's a robot!?  But our world didn't have the technology 
for that back now!"

The Faded Iron Master frowned, eyes tight on the pseudo-Baron's dying 
sparks. "No.  Which means that we're not the only time-travelers 
involved in this!"


Kid Enthusiastic sped out of the fortress like a sparrow out of hell, 
Queen Transuranium Butterfly hot on his heels.  The battle was still 
raging, but the Baron had disappeared completely.

Kid E frowned.  Oh, well, no use crying over spilled nemesis. "Solar 
Tide!" he shouted.  The robot warrior of love and justice turned, and 
with an overhand pitch, he tossed the transformed Source Argent to her.

She caught the sphere, almost fumbling before it grew to fit in her 
hand, its silvery light tripling at her touch.  She gasped. "This... 
you found our MacGuffin!  How did you--"

The Queen's claws took a chunk out of the pavement; Solar Storm and 
Solar Bay launched attacks simultaneously, but it barely even slowed 
her down.

"Oh, right." She raised the Source Argent into the air.  Its glow shone 
upon the warriors, good and evil, as she raised into the air.  Around 
her body, gossamer strands came together into a sparkling, ephemeral 
gown.  The light became blinding, friend and foe alike covering their 
eyes.  Even the rampaging Queen was checked by its power, her mouth 
open in a silent roar of rage.

"Gorgeous... Tidal... Reboot!"

A sphere of brilliance washed over the battlefield...

Kid Enthusiastic rubbed his eyes.  How long had that moment been?  He 
pulled himself to his feet.  Like Rouge and the Solar Sails did the 
same, but where the Generals and the Queen had been, there were silvery 
blobs, sealed in strange containers.  He turned to Solar Tide, who was 
gently floating to the ground. "Bwu?"

"They have been restored to a protean form, to be born anew, freed of 
the taint of darkness.  From now on, their choices will be their own, 
for good or for ill."

"What about that guy?" Kid E pointed to Meitnericus, who had *not* 
turned into a blob.  Instead, he was looking around in wonderment, 
covered with a layer of blue chrome, the rest of his colors faded to 
black and white.

Solar Tide gasped. "Tuxedo Break!" She ran up and hugged him. "I 
thought you were dead!"

"Nay, I lay not within the bosom of that undiscovered country, but 
slept, unable to bear the thousand shocks laid upon me, and thus 
retreated to a less noble mind."

"...okay!" They made out passionately.  The rest of the Solar Sails 
cheered and applauded.  Kid Enthusiastic and Like Rouge watched with 

"Hey, Like Rouge?"


"It was your House that was overrun during the war, wasn't it?"

"..." She sighed. "Well, why did you not just let the whole world 


Carmine put her hand on the boy's mouth. "Yes, James, it was.  I... I 
didn't want to show weakness in front of my countrymen.  Nor in front 
of those I was already asking succor from."

"Awww, you didn't have to worry about that!  We're heroes!  We don't 
think less of people for needing help."

She laughed, and tousled his hair. "I have met those who called 
themselves heroes before; men of sinew and muscle whose might made 
right.  T'was all I expected when I came to your world, but I think I 
found something more..."

Kid E grinned, but then frowned again. "Welp, we'd better meet up with 
the others, tell them we lost the Atavist..."

Solar Ice stretched out. "That's okay, it looks like we've finally 
resolved everything!"

There was a pop! noise, and a short, almost childlike robot in red, 
pink, and orange appeared in midair.  She landed atop Solar Tide, 
knocking Tuxedo Break away. "I am Solar Phoenix, and I need your help 
to save the future!"

"Or not." She sighed and shook her head, waving goodbye to our heroes.


The Emperor of Chi-Gamma released the eudaimon, monstrous spirits 
dispersing back into the depths of the world, his body shrinking back 
to human form. "Well.  Let us--"

There was a crackle of thunder just outside the gates, and a form 
rocketed through the halls with a blast of wind.  Guards were scattered 
like tenpins.  Casey, Mala, the Emperor and the Faded Iron Master 
staggered back, though Mala shouted out, "It's him!  It has to be!  
Another robot Baron!"

Guards got to their feet within seconds, charging down the corridor.  
Mala sent a charge of boosting energy into the FIM's form, and he raced 
past them to the vaults.

The other Baron MacNottherealvillain hovered above a smashed chest, 
holding the Atavist of Fire in one hand, and the Atavist of Earth in 
the other.  The FIM charged blue-white energy around his hands, but the 
Baron smirked, gave him an ironic nod, and smashed through the stone 
ceiling, blasting his way out through the side of the palace.

The rest of the party came charging up a few moments later.  The 
Emperor looked the FIM in the eye, and the FIM shook his head.  The 
Emperor nodded, and gestured to his guard; they trooped out. "I believe 
the castle needs to be secured." He swept up his cape and left them 
alone in the vault.

There was a moment of awkward silence, and the FIM sighed. "Damn it.  
All these clever plans, these subversions of cliche, come to naught." 
For a moment, the burden of years weighed down his frame.

Then he straightened, running his hands through his shock of gray hair. 
"All right." He smiled. "Time for Plan S."

"Master, you didn't tell me about this one," said Mala, looking a bit 
confused, a bit offended.

He shook his head. "Gotta keep somethin' up your sleeve, m'dear."

Casey scratched his head. "What's the S stand for?"

"Shit Hits The Fan." The FIM swept up his cloak and stepped up to 
Casey. "We're going back to Amalgama." He put his hands on the boy's 
shoulders. "I have decades of experience fighting the Zinc Oxide Tyrant 
and his forces, inflitrating their places of power and scrutinizing 
every weakness.  I want to directly transfer these memories to your 

Casey blinked. "There are thirteen thousand questions this brings to 
mind, but... why me?"

"Well, to be honest, I'd share 'em with every ally I have, but this 
isn't something you do casually.  We would have to link our telepathic 
powers directly, mind to mind.  It's a risk, but with your permission, 
I think it's one worth taking."

"...well, I can understand that.  Let me take a second to-- wait... 
*our* telepathic powers?" Casey took a step back.  In his head, he 
wrote out a list:
* Prophet (= precognitive)
* From the future
* Apparently "forgot" stuff about the Looniverse
* Seems to be giving me little tests
* Ruggedly handsome

"...w-wait a second..."

The Faded Iron Master chuckled. "So you finally figured it out.  Yes, 
that's the other reason. Who better to trust my memories to than, 
well... myself?"


SD-Solar Ice: "Next Issue!"

"Into endgame as we make the jump to Amalgama!  Exposition and 
explosions!  Battle lines are drawn, but can they withstand the power 
of the future and the past together?"

"Next time on Digital JUMP!  GUMPTION!  Glory of a Knock-Down Argument!  
Part Five of Warriors of Light!"

"Kiss the vampire ladybug..."


Author's Note:

So who saw *that* coming?

"Eudaimon" is a word I've always thought was neat, and it's perfect for 
a combination of Digimon and a more Greek version of Codex Alera's 
Furies.  Of course, I started using it here before I realized I'd used 
it in the title of #5.  Foreshadowing?  Nah, just multiple inspirations 
from the same source. (Especially considering the title of #5 was 
announced at the end of #4, back in 2004.)

All characters created by Andrew Perron, Faded Iron Master is Reserved, 
rest of 'em Not Reserved.  Post no bills.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, whose dream was it?

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