StarFall: Spellbinder #3: "Machine Head"

[Andrew Perron]

On Wed, 4 May 2011 01:27:52 +0000 (UTC), William Strickland wrote:

> Issue 3: Machine Head

Put your hand inside the silver skull machine!

> So the accounts of it just list it
> as-- THE SILVER SKULL!" She posed triumphantly, and the weather helped
> out by having lightning roar overhead.
> 
> The butler sighed. "Please don't encourage her," he muttered into his
> hand while pinching the bridge of his nose.
> 
> The thunder rumbled apologetically.

Bwahahaha. XD

> "Good to hear it!," I said, and I meant it. She was finally making
> steps to adjust to her new life, and already she wasn't nearly as
> morose as she used to be. I like to think I'd been able to help her by
> being her friend, even if by just pointing her in the right
> direction.  I'd been trying to help those creatures of magic that
> wanted to get in good with the new world so that I wouldn't have to
> bail them out all the time (I'd decided the ones who didn't want to
> work with the world could keep working against it and get what they
> got).

Awwwww!  That's excellent.  An important part of any truly heroic figure's
duties.

> Anyway, I won't bore you with all the details. We had Chinese food
> delivered and did girly stuff for a while before we got down to
> business. You said most of the guys reading this are... well, guys, so
> I'll spare you about how we took time to figure out what color to
> paint each other's nails and stuff.

Hmmmmmm, we get the first inkings of a Literary Agent.

> I couldn't help laughing at that. A piece of magical Lost Technology
> in Japan, buried under Fujiyama? No wonder stories like that came up
> all the time in Japanese Pop Culture.

I would have left off that last sentence.  Bit explaining-the-joke.

> "CONFOUNDED QUICK-TIME EVENTS!", roared Zeus.

Heeheeheehee

> Zeus frowned. "Another bill?" He was loving his new hobbies, but by
> him, they were getting expensive!

...so why does he have to worry about money? ``

> Just as I'd left Maddy's place to head for Japan, I got a call. Not on
> an actual phone - it's a magical thing that I'll explain later because
> it's not really important right now. Trust me on this.

There seem to be a lot of these!

> Which I thought was just fine. I took the executive elevator up, and
> with a considerable amount of effort, I managed to get my expression
> neutral. If anything, my emotive mask would make the giddiness I was
> feeling appear cartoonishly overdone if I didn't keep it off my face.

Mwahahahaha

> "Nah." Then, to elaborate, I said "Y'know, it's funny. For a while I
> was uncertain about what cops would even charge you with if I didn't
> clean up your mess for you. So I consulted with an attorney.
> Apparently there's a fairly new catch-all term for things like this;
> Acts of Supervillainy. No, really, that's the actual name."

Oh, right, this is a superhero universe, not simply an urban fantasy one.
I like that you've kept the tone in the latter for this series.

> Miles, being three feet tall, looked directly up at my cleavage while
> I searched his bookshelf, as instructed, for a supposedly dangerous
> tome. "Oh, I'm sure there's somethin' worth findin' there, lass," he
> said. "Jus' keep lookin'."

<snip>

> Miles hid under the table while I desperately tried to stuff a scaled,
> clawed arm back into a bulky tome from his bookshelf. "Well, I
> couldn't ask ye tae look through again without actually havin' a
> dangerous book there, now could I?"

Heeheeheehee

> Hermes nodded. "Aye, the Queen of Loud Sorrows is about to break
> through to the Earth realm. If pressed, the Mystic Defender might
> manage to kill her - she is crafty, and even though she might not
> realize it, she already has what she needs."
> 
> Loki nodded. "But if the battle ends that way, then the fun would end
> with it. We can't have that.

Innnnnnteresting, considering the way it *did* end.

> Just as I was departing New York, I was interrupted again, this time
> by a brass owl. No, really.

<Strong Bad> Yes, I still want the bust of Bubo.

> The major Olympian gods were
> powerful enough entities, and of a just-sufficiently-metaphysical
> nature, that there mere presence would warp reality around them.
> Unless they suddenly decided the Earth was useless, they would avoid
> this - and when they did it, it would likely be a sign that they were
> declaring war. Not all gods from all pantheons were like this - some
> were just really powerful and that was the end of it, and some were
> born of the Earth anyway, and even for the Olympians it hadn't always
> been like this - the world had changed since they'd been gone.

Innnnnnnnteresting.

> I'd
> explain more, but it would be long, dry, and not relevant to what's
> going on. It'll probably come up again, tho, so don't worry.

See?

> The owl shifted uncomfortably. "There... is some sort of barrier
> around your mind now, which renders entering your dreams...
> difficult."

I must wonder how much of this is true, considering.

> "It's probably because of that thing about eating the temple. With
> your chest," the owl confirmed, apparently finding the news weird
> enough to let itself slip like this. It shook its head rapidly and
> ruffled it's feathers. "I *still* don't get what's up with that!" it
> declared indignantly.

This is adorable!

> before long I'd found what I was looking for; a
> bit of rock face that pretended to exist, but wasn't actually real
> (this is actually different from an illusion, but please don't ask me
> to explain it).

And another.  These are neat and help extend the universe past the edge of
the page, but too many call attention to themselves.  Perhaps one less this
issue?

> Myrrans, for instance, die immediately when exposed to gravity.

I thought they were more vulnerable to Phyrexians.

> Phylacteries are one way around this. By projecting oneself into it -
> somehow or other, it always works differently - you could manifest
> inside whatever world it was attuned to safely and at your full power.

Interesting idea!  And not one I've heard of in any other work.

> I incanted a healing spell - I don't actually
> know many of these, since I can only use them with pathworking, which
> normally makes them counter productive

Wait, what?

> It all came together, just like that. I remembered something I'd once
> heard from my teacher; "The greatest enemy of an immortal is boredom".
> Immortals have a tendency to have odd hobbies, and to follow them
> fanatically.
> 
> And here I was, in a place whose defining characteristic was that it
> offered entertainment to the chronically bored.

Ooooooh, very nice lateral thinking.

> After about three minutes, I finished my spell and let it go. My trap
> had worked just as I'd hoped it would; I never would've had time for a
> working like this if it hadn't. With a dull clank that nobody noticed,
> the Silver Skull Machine fell out of the Queen's form and hit the
> ground, where I scooped it up with a levitation spell and brought it
> over to me. The Queen was essentially harmless now, and I had the
> skull, which I stuffed into storage. Later on I would talk more with
> the Queen, set her up with some money and some pointers on how to get
> more, and leave her to her newfound bliss.
> 
> To my knowledge, she never hurt anyone ever again. I think she became
> a celebrity and went through about two dozen marriages.

D'awwwwwwww.  Cute!

> Another time, another place.

<snip>

> Almost. "Now, rest up, sweetie," she said, her malevolent little smile
> crawling onto her lips. "Tomorrow all the others get a crack at you
> together, and they'll get to use neuro-whips."

What.

...what.

...so much what.

After looking at previous issues... I assume this is Realm Nine?  And a
thing that actually happened to Chelsea?

...she seems, ah, oddly well-adjusted. ``

Anyway, beyond that, more good work!  Coming along well, I must say.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, now for Free Comic Book Day!