[MV/HCC] The Super Wizard From Space #1
wilalambre at gmail.com
Tue Mar 22 14:55:23 PDT 2011
THE SUPER WIZARD FROM SPACE #1
"Hurry, uni-scribe! We have less than one space-hour to get to the
negotiating table before the Great Disaster arrives!"
The uni-scribe worked feverishly at his terminal, trying to complete
the document translation despite the horn-cries of his superior
officer, the uni-diplomat. A magnificent example of space-unicorn
breeding, the single alabaster horn sprouting from his forehead
vibrated with his telepathic dictation, and the terminal's
recording-forks struggled to keep up with the rapid process.
The desperate uni-diplomat paced back and forth in the room. He kept
looking at the space-clock, watching the moments tick away and
whinnying quietly under his breath. The light in the room was starting
to fade away as ominous clouds rolled in, covered up the twin suns. It
was as if the very planet understood the impending doom and was losing
"Ah, ha! I have completed my task!" declared the uni-scribe
triumphantly! The terminal buzzed as it transposed the collected
horn-thoughts into a physical document printed on clear plastic paper.
He took a moment to review it, confirming it was correctly written and
understandable in the two required languages, then passed it to the
The uni-diplomat snatched the document and raced out the door, his
feet-hooves making irregular clapping noises on the floor. His
horn-shouts rippled through the entire building. Replies were
telepathically returned, and he found a magnificent uni-transport
officer waiting directly outside, a fast-saddle firmly attached to his
back. The uni-diplomat belted himself into the saddle, and with a
shout and a jab, the uni-transport officer went running at
wind-whipping speeds to the civic building in the capital city's
The sky darkened even more, and a growing humidity indicated that the
war-torn ruins of the space-unicorn capital was going to come under an
unoptimistic rain soon, but the uni-diplomatic snapped at the reins
and forced his mount on. The relief workers did what they could,
moving away debris and forming barricades to keep the general
uni-populace from the pot-marked road, clearing a path for the rushing
A coded horn-call from the uni-transport officer was acknowledged by a
uni-general and the blockade of uni-troops at the central square broke
formation only long enough to give access to the civic building. The
army then reformed their formation, keeping a sharp vigil on the
space-sasquatch soldiers who stood at armed attention on the opposite
side of the square.
Unbuckling and dismounting, the uni-diplomat charged into the
building. The security posted at the building demanded to see his
identification no matter how loudly and desperately he pleaded for
urgency. After many long agonizing space-minutes, he cleared the
checkpoint. He rushed through the hallways, burst into the main
conference room, and brought the sad debates at the negotiating table
to a halt with horn-shouts.
"I have it! I have it here!" he waved the document in the air. "I have
the peace treaty at last!" Both sides of the negotiating table cheered
"Come, man, let us see it!" roared the Supreme Sasquatch, proud
sovereign of the space-sasquatchs. He barrel chest thundered with a
panicking heart, his normally well-combed fur ragged and knotted from
worry. "We haven't a moment to lose!"
"Our pen! Our pen, curse your hides!" rang out the horn-call form the
Uni-king, the royal diamond rings on his superior silver horn giving
the telepathic shouts a sing-song-like quality.
"I made doubly sure the uni-scribe drafted the document in both
unicornian and sasquatchese. I assure both governments that all
concessions are officially in the treaty and..."
"No time, no time!" said the Uni-king, cutting off his sputtering
diplomat. "Any concession is fine. Any surrender is acceptable. Just
give us our royal pen!"
His counter-part bellowed his agreement. "Yes! All concessions! The
space-sasquatch nation agree to anything! As long as there is peace!
Peace, now! Hurry!"
Snatching the clear plastic document, the Supreme Sasquatch signed it
at the bottom without reading it. Passing the both the treaty and his
pen across the table, the Uni-king also added his royal signature at
the bottom without giving it a look.
Just then, a yelling came into the room from outside. Telepathic
horn-yells from the space-unicorn army. Bellowing savage yells from
the space-sasquatch army.
Terrified yells. "Too late! Too late! It's here! The Great Disaster!"
Both monarchs bolted from the room. Their processions scampered after
them outside. All dignity and civility of office was forgotten.
In the square, soldiers on both sides of the blockade had broken rank.
Some few had committed suicide, placing the barrel of their ray-guns
under their chins and disintegrated themselves. Others had tossed the
weapons on the ground and fled, hopelessly trying to find some sort of
Many had dropped to their knees and begun praying. To the uni-god, the
space-unicorn mono-deity. To Never-Seen and Large-Feet and
Abominable-One, the space-sasquatch pantheon. And some to the terrible
entity itself that descended from the sky.
The dark clouds parted, the sprinkling of grey rain misted away from
the square. But instead of warm sunlight, the parting only revealed a
deep and faraway blackness, and in the middle was a single floating
figure. A man in tight fitting outfit of sea blue and copper yellow.
Hovering over his blond hair was a crown of perfect space-gold, almost
as harrowing to look at as the celestial figure it belonged too.
He descended to the middle of the square. Though he seemed to land as
lightly as a feather, the pavement under his feet cracked under sudden
strain. The city dimmed, dulled, all ambient light absorbed into the
man's encompassing light-cloak before it too faded away. The clouds
closed the hole in the sky, and soon the only illumination came from
the gold crown's starlight.
The Uni-king and the Supreme Sasquatch rushed to the figure, averting
their eyes and humbly prostrating themselves at at his feet. He stared
down at them as a disappointed parent might look at misbehaving
"Do you know who I am?" he asked. His voice was level and patient, but
at the same time everywhere and understood by all, penetrating
comprehension and distance.
"Y-y-you have... you have many n-n-names..."
"I am a super wizard, come from the faraway spaces to render cosmic
"No! No, there is no more war here!" pleaded the once proud
space-sasquatch monarch. "Look here, a peace treaty signed not moments
ago! There is peace on this planet again! Peace!"
"Spare us, holy one," said the grovelling Uni-king. "Our armies have
surrendered! Our nations are surrendered! The space-unicorn people are
peaceful again, we give you our word!"
"And us, too!" added the Supreme Sasquatch. "The space-sasquatch
people make war no longer! We swear to you!"
The super wizard looked down at the weeping rulers begging before him.
But when he spoke, it was with a grim, flat tenor.
"It was the super wizard parliament that saved your mythic races many
space-centuries ago, whisking you away from the toxic influences of
your mother planet. The dominant creatures there were dangerous to you
all, corrupting in nature and murderous in intent. We transported you
with our science-sorcery to this lush and forested world, where you
could be safe and free.
"And though you have grown and evolved into civilization, becoming
fantastical space-races, you have made war on each other for the
greatest of crimes... space-greed."
There was a collective sob from all in the city. They pleaded for
lenience. In both languages. In both cultures. They cried out for
"No mercy from super wizards..." he declared, "...only the most
terrible forms of justice!"
He crouched on one knee and held a single hand palm up to the sky.
"Since you you cannot share..."
The Uni-king begged.
The Supreme Sasquatch begged.
The super wizard ignored them both. As he ignored the billions of
cries from around this doomed world.
He slammed his hand down on the ground before him and a burst of
starlight exploded from his palm into the pavement.
A massive quake rippled around the world. A deep crack formed at the
spot and raced across the land to meet at the planet's opposite side.
Fire and magma spit up from everywhere as the world shook in it's
death throes. The sky turned and angry red and the land fractured in
city-sized chunk, spewed up into the atmosphere and even orbit.
The super wizard glided up and away, the pale light cloak acting as a
protective cocoon that he rode up into space. From a couple thousand
space-miles away, he witnesses the two halves of the planet tumble
away from each other, oceans fall into endless nothingness, precious
air rushing off every sudden edge. A billion people died in those
moments. Billions more would suffer terribly over the following weeks.
Wil Alambre, follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/wilalambre
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