MISC: One Day at a Time #17

[James Mason]

                               Chapter 17:
                           Demons of Suburbia

Announcer: While the stuff in the previous chapter was happening, this 
was happening in the same mall! Just not near where Alex was.

John: What is it that you want to talk to her about?

Bill: I told you before, it's really important, and I don't feel like 
repeating myself. Thank you, by the way.

John: I'm sorry, I just hate it when people don't tell me things. Just 
because I'm a scientist doesn't mean I know everything! Ooooh, you're a 
*scientist*, *HUH?* How come you guys still haven't cured *death*!? Or 
made EVERYFUCKINGBODY a *FUCKING CYBORG*! BECAUSE ANY SCIENTIST CAN 
KNOW EVERYTHING ON ANY-FUCKING-FIELD OF _*FUCKING SCIENCE*_!

Bill: ...what caused *that* breakdown?

John: *panting, sweating* I... I know a lot of stupid people in my 
life.

Bill: So do I, but you don't see me going off on a tangent.

John: ...shut up.

Offscreen voice: STOP RIGHT THERE, DEMON!

Bill: Well, I don't know what's going to happen, but I know it's going 
to be interesting.

A girl in an entirely different armor than Alex is when she is morphed - 
see? Hers doesn't entirely cover her, just her torso, her arms, her 
hands and her legs - also she glows a little and has, like, blue cloth 
things that show her emblems, but I'm not going to describe them 
because this description has gone on long enough, also she has a sword 
and shield: Your illusionary magic will not fool me! My eyes can see 
through falseness!

Bill: Uhhh... what are you talking about?

Blue armor girl: Your days of hiding among humans are over! HIYA! 
*stabs with her sword, which kind of looks like a fencing sword, now 
that I get a good look at it*

Bill: *barely doges the sword* Cheese it, this girl is crazy!

Announcer: And now... a chase scene! Provide your own music, as I will 
describe the stuff that happens, due to this being just text. Okay, so 
now they're running through the food court. By the way, they were in a 
food court. Now they're turning over tables to slow her down, but 
apparently, she can leap higher than a four-foot table. Oh jeez!  Or 
she could cut the crap out of them with her sword and burn them away 
with blue fire! Yeah, guys, watch out for that sword. Now they ran into 
the bathroom, and they take everything that's nailed down, because that 
seems to be the only thing there. Of course Bill, now Mike, has super 
strength - because he had it all along, shut up - and John, now the 
Arch Mage, is, of course, using his magic to move the stuff.

Mike: Think that'll stop her?

Announcer: Then she stabbed through it.

Mike: THE WINDOW, NOW!

Announcer: So they quickly (and clumsily) climb out before she breaks 
through and hide among the bushes. Which works well when she breaks 
through the wall behind them, what with the impact tossing them out 
into the open and all.

Blue Armor Girl: So, you have revealed yourself and your master to me. 
Now I don't have to hunt him down.

Mike: Okay, first, I'M NOT A FUCKING DEMON! If anything, I'm a 
cat-thing that doesn't really have whiskers now that I think about it. 
And I-- WAH!

Announcer: Mike summons out his sword and starts fighting the crazy 
knight chick. Soon, he stops, because it's clear that he has no 
training what-so-ever with swords, while the girl could probably win 
gold in the Olympics for the fencing competition.

Mike: Well... crap.

BLU Armor Girl: Now then anything to say before I send you back to 
hell?

Mike: Yeah.

The Arch Mage: *LAZOR!*

Blue Armor Girl: Ugg!

Mike: Watch out. *takes her sword and tosses it lightly to The Arch 
Mage*

Blue Armor Girl: Hey! Give that back before I rip out your spinal cord!

Mike: *grabs her* I don't think so. *uppercut!*

Blue Armor Girl: Blarg! I guess demons don't fight fair!

Mike: Have you seen my fighting skills? They suck! *appear-ates his 
sword*

Blue Armor Girl: RAAAGH! *shoots lighting out of her hand*

Mike: AHHHHH! *falls over but catches himself at the last second*

The Arch Mage: Wha-- *gets zapped too*

Blue Armor Girl: That will teach me to fight fair against demons.

The Arch Mage: *shoots lazors every time he says a word in this 
sentence* HOW. MANY. TIMES. DO. WE. HAVE. TO. TELL. YOU. WE. ARE. NOT. 
DEMONS!

Announcer: ...Geez. That's a whiplash.

The Arch Mage: Mike! Are you ok?

Mike: Oh GEEZ that hurt. It felt like she was RIPPING APART MY SOUL.

The Arch Mage: Really? It didn't hurt that much to me.

Mike: That's because you have the shield thing. Me? I have to take it.

The Arch Mage: Hmm. Well, I think I can heal you, if you let me. I've 
been working on something.

Mike: How do you work out your spells anyway?

The Arch Mage: Well, that's simple, I-- awww, crap, she's gone.

Mike: What, really? Great, now we're going to have a crazy person after 
us. Can you prepare a spell that captures her or something like that?

The Arch Mage: Well, I *have* been doing a lot in the magic department. 
Speaking of which, we should inform Alex about this.

Mike: Like with the thought-speak spell?

The Arch Mage: Yeah, that.

Announcer: Come on! Damn! I knew I should have saved that Master Ball! 
Huh? I'm back on? TELL ME WHEN WE ARE COMING BACK ON BEFORE WE GO BACK 
ON! Anyway, they call her. Now can I go back to my game?

Sir Greg: *Brrrrrring* *Brrrrrrring* .oO(I know I destroyed the other 
phone, but I would have slowed down for this one.)

Mike: (Hey Alex!)Oo.

Sir Greg: .oO(And my privacy just went down the tube. Hey guys, what's 
going on?)

Mike: (We were attacked by a crazy bitch.)Oo.

Sir Greg: .oO(How crazy? Because so far, "crazy" would define our 
lives.)

Mike: (Believed I was a demon and shot lightning at me.)Oo.

Sir Greg: .oO(So what did you do with her?)

Mike: (She... kind of ran away.)Oo.

Sir Greg: .oO(Did she scream "I'LL BE BACK!" when she ran?)

Mike: (No, but she implied it.)Oo.

Sir Greg: .oO(Hoo boy. This has been quite a day.)

Mike: (What happened with you?)Oo.

Sir Greg: .oO(Long story.)