LNH/RACCies: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the RACCies! #11: There's a Zombie On Everybody's Lawn!

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Jul 16 22:13:21 PDT 2011

"I think it's time... to split up!"

"One more time!"



Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the
RACCies! #11

"There's a Zombie On Everybody's Lawn!"



Mission: Recruit a spectrum of color-based heroes from the Looniverse.
Red Herring
Convoluted Origin Man
Manga Man Pink


The dark streets of the city, and footsteps clatter on the pavement at 
high speed!

"Run!" gasped Manga Man Pink as shadows raced through the alley.  
Convoluted Origin Man crashed into a fence and ripped right through, 
Red Herring spinning through the air after him.  Behind them, four, 
five, six figures ran after, splitting the air with their moans of 

The Herring turned to blast the Continuity Zombies with a burst of red 
lightning, but he couldn't cover them all, zombies swarming around 
their stunned fellows.  He flipped through the air, coming to a sudden 
stop as the walls closed in around them. "Piscine peril!  We're 

"In here!" The voice came from beneath the street, a grate swung open 
to reveal a disused passage.  The trio slipped in tout suite, Pink 
pulling the grate back into place behind them.

They huddled in the darkness, listening to the Continuity Zombies 
shuffle into the alleyway, moan their displeasure, and disperse, and 
let out shuddering breaths of relief.

"But what savior do we have to thank for our succor?" asked the Red 

"That'd be us!" Out of the shadows stepped a quartet of heroically-
garbed characters.

"Orange Zest!" A teenage girl with an angular face dressed in a bright 
orange flapper outfit, with long strings of pearls and a white cloche 
with an orange ribbon.  She pulled a pearl off her necklace and flicked 
it into the air; it bounced rapidly off the walls. "Rookie member of 
the LNH!  Manipulation of kinetic energy!"

"Magentrix!" Another girl wearing a black gi with a magenta belt and a 
magenta headband with alchemical symbols around it.  From her head 
sprouted psychedelic patterns of pink-purple energy. "Rookie member of 
the LNH!  Telekinesis expressed as Jean Grey-style blobs of psychic 

"Green Knight!" A completely armored form, steel dyed a deep green, 
with an emerald on the brow of its helm.  It put out its gauntleted 
hands, which flew off, spun around its body, and reattached. "Rookie 
member of the LNH!  Modular robotic body with parts capable of 
independent motion!"

"Dualist Lad!" A man with red hair and blue-gray eyes wearing a spandex 
bodysuit and jacket split down the middle, silver and gray on the left, 
gold and dirty yellow on the right.  In a flash of light, he split into 
two, one gold, one silver, then flashed back into one. "Member of the 
Legion of Net.Heroes, doing scutwork by showing new members the ropes!"

"You know, you don't have to call it that..." grumbled Orange Zest.

"But my question is," said Dualist Lad, ignoring her, "what do you know 
about the Continuity Zombies?"

Convoluted Origin Man gasped. "How did you know that's what they're 

Dualist Lad blinked. "Well, they act like zombies, and they keep saying 
'CONTINUITY', I mean, it seems kind of obvious..."

COM sighed. Dualist Lad was just like the raw meat he'd trained as a 
member of the New Zealand Special Forces. "We know where they come 
from, and how to stop them.  You see, the Looniverse..."

As he gave the exposition to Dualist Lad all over again, Manga Man Pink 
leaned back, exhausted, against the wall of the secret corridor.  The 
Red Herring hovered just over his shoulder, humming "Cool, Considerate 

The LNH trainees hung back slightly, whispering to each other until, 
finally, Orange Zest stepped forward. "Um... hi!  You guys are LNHers 
too, right?  That's so cool!"

"We unequivoposilutely are!" shouted the Red Herring. "Why, if you 
looked for a better example of an iconic, Legionic hero dude, you--"

"Er, actually," interrupted Manga Man Pink. "I'm not.  In fact, the 
Power Manga were working for one of the LNH's greatest enemies, sort 

"...aha!  Miscreant, foul beast that you are, face the--"

"No, no, it's far too late for a Hero Misunderstanding Fight now."

"Zounds!  It has become a Running Gag!"

The newbies looked askance at the bantering heroes. Magentrix leaned 
over and whispered to Orange Zest, "You know, this was your idea. *I* 
wanted to see if Dvandom Force was accepting new members."


Manga Man Pink cleared his throat. "So, ah, the Green Knight, eh?  Bit 
on the nose, isn't it?"

The armored android shrugged. "Well, why not?  I mean, ASH has one, and 
so does Eightfold..."

"Actually!" proclaimed the Red Herring. "The one hailing from the 
ASHniverse recently switched his moniker to Centurion!"

"Yeah," said Pink, "and Martin Rock doesn't look to be superheroing 
anytime soon."

"Well, if the writer had gotten to this point *a year ago*..."

Orange Zest patted the Green Knight on the shoulder. "It's okay.  I 
don't expect him to get to my Shocking Secret any time soon."

At the other end of the room, Convoluted Origin Man had finished his 
explanation.  Dualist Lad snapped his fingers. "Well, this is quite the 
coincidence!  Looks like you've got several colorful types right here, 
ready to pitch in!"

"Indeed," said Manga Man Pink, "so we'll just take these kids off your 
hands, and be on our way!  C'mon, let's--"

"Um, wait." Pink sighed and looked over his shoulder at the plaintive 
Dualist Lad. "You're going to need my help... right?"

"Well..." Manga Man Pink grew a sweatdrop and scratched the back of his 
head. "Not really!  See, we kind of have silver already taken care of, 
with Hi-Fi Lorelai..."

"Yeah," added Convoluted Origin Man, "and the Golden Age part of the 
Legacy Beam is a dangling plot point, so we'll probably have one of 
those showing up too..."

Dualist Lad threw himself on his knees at their feet. "Oh, please!  I 
need to get into another cascade or I'll lose my LNHer discount at the 
Pizza Pit!" He gave Pink the sad puppydog eyes, accentuated by the Red 
Herring's mildly disturbing sad fishie eyes.

Pink rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine.  Ye gads, if the cast gets any more 
overstuffed, you could upholster it and call it an easy chair, mumble 

The coast was clear, so they snuck out the grate and down the back 
streets, heading towards the Power Manga base.  They got a few blocks 
away before hearing shuffling and moans from the left.  They turned, 
only for moaning and scraping steps to emanate from the right.

"Jehosaphat!" said Convoluted Origin Man, briefly remembering his past 
life as a Civil War general who haunted an F-22. "They're cuttin' us 

"Into Defense Position 24-G, on the double!" said the Red Herring, 
making a complicated maneuver above their heads.

"Defense what!?" squeaked Magentrix. "We didn't practice any of this!"

Dualist Lad flash-split. "Don't let them get behind you!" shouted Dual 

"Back-to-back along the width of the alleyway!" said Manga Man Pink, 
bumping up against Orange Zest, who blushed but got into position.  
They achieved formation just as the zombies reached the ends of the 
alley, charging with terrifying speed and moaning, "CONTINUITY..."

Blasts of energy flashed from the heroes.  Despite their numbers, the 
Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu was on their side against the hordes. 
"Don't worry about de-zombifying them!" shouted Manga Man Pink as 
roseate lightning fulminated over the zombies nearest him. "Weaken 
them with color and go for the KO!"

One color joined the fight, then another, then another, the multitude 
slowing, stopping, groaning as bits of their true selves were revealed 
in the flash of thunder.  It was working, they were going down...

...and then a water balloon flew over their heads and splashed all over 
Convoluted Origin Man.  He shouted in shock, as his three-piece suit 
with a high collar melted away.  His image grew vague, and he clutched 
his head, sinking to his feet... only to rise again, round on the 
heroes around him, and moan, "CONTINUITY..."



Author's Note: Whew.  Entering the home stretch; I want to get this 
done by the end of the year!

Convoluted Origin Man created by Matt Rossi
Manga Man Pink created by Jamie Rosen
Red Herring created by Kieran O' Callaghan
All other characters created by Andrew Perron

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, retsu & GO!

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