[MV] The Super Wizard From Space #14: The Tragedy Of Sharkasaurus Rex, Part 4

[Scott Eiler]

On 7/13/2011 7:45 PM, Wil Alambre wrote:
>
> On 2011-07-13, at 8:56 PM, Scott Eiler<seiler at eilertech.com>  wrote:
>
>> "Expository dialog!  Expository dialog!" cried out the aging
>> reader, impressed enough to enter the story himself.  "Vehicle of
>> plot development!  Wondrous friend of all readers!"  8{D>
>
> I'm not sure how much of a last-issue recap sort of thing is usually
> required. I'm still experimenting with different techniques. This
> time I decided to embrace a full old-fashioned recap, just like
> anthology comics sometimes did.

I think it's okay.  With this one, you added stuff for clarification.
That's even better.


>> "What makes the wearers think they can do that, with those chains
>> the crowns put around them?", argued the cranky old reader.  "But
>> it should be fun to see them *try* something of that sort."
>
> Many concepts in this story are suffering from
> sounded-clearer-in-my-head-itis. And I have to get out of this poor
> habit of having characters explain things when instead i could have
> them just *happen*.

I'm not questioning the exposition.  But you've already shown that the 
will of the crowns applies to the people wearing them too, and that will 
is hard to override.  I think it would make an interesting story if that 
kept, say, Queen Buzzz out of a challenge between any two others.  But 
then, you have your own way of making the next story interesting.  8{D>


>> I'd like to say this reader shared Theodor's perspective at the
>> end.
>
> I have to admit not being certain what specifically you meant to say.
> The downside of trying to interpret text message and my own general
> inexperience, I'm afraid.

Well, then, I need to be clearer.  I really liked the story, but like 
Theodor, I saw the end coming.


> Overall, this shark story arc started out as a fun idea, but i
> believe I weighed it down with extraneous characters, foo much
> exposition, and clumsily explained concepts. Also, I've strayed from
> the fun golden-age short punchy story concept I started out with.
> I'll try to wrap this arc up next ish and see if I can rediscover
> it's original feel.

Actually, one of the things I like best about this series is that it 
grew up quickly.  Peppy little stories about stomping on space unicorns 
are cute for one issue or two, but you've got some impressive space 
opera with high drama going on here.