LNH/REVIEW: The Tribulations of Kid Review #5

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu Feb 10 02:49:46 PST 2011


The shifting gray sands of dream.  In the depths of slumber, Kid Review 
heard a hundred voices speaking as one.

KID REVIEW OF LOONIVERSE-A.

He stood, looking up at the looming forms in the glittering dreamblack 
sky. "RACCelestials!  Why have you summoned me?"

A CRISIS LOOMS.  A POWER LONG LOCKED AWAY IS STIRRING, CAUSING THE 
FORCES OF COMMUNICATION TO SLIP OUT OF JOINT.  YOU, OUR AGENT, MUST 
INVESTIGATE THIS STIRRING AND RESEAL THE POWER'S PRISON.

"Just tell me what I have to do.  I'm ready for anything!  No task is 
too great!"

WE ARE CHANGING THE FORMAT OF YOUR SERIES.

Kid Review fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

OH, STOP BEING SUCH A BABY.

A silver machine, all curves and swirling metal, manifested itself in 
the sand.

YOU WILL USE THIS DEVICE TO PROJECT YOURSELF INTO THE LETTERS PAGE 
DIMENSION.

"Can't I just zap there directly?"

THE ENERGIES OF THE REVIEW FORCE ARE INTIMATELY LINKED TO THE LETTERS 
PAGE DIMENSION.  DIRECT USE OF THOSE ENERGIES WITHIN THE DIMENSION 
WOULD RESULT IN A POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP, ENDING IN DESTRUCTION.

"Eesh.  What do I do when I get there?"

YOU WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LANDS OF THE LETTERS PAGE DIMENSION TO THE 
CASTLE AT ITS HEART.  AS YOU TRAVEL, YOUR REVIEWS SHALL SHAPE AND BRING 
ORDER TO THAT WORLD.

"All right.  Anything else?"

YES.  YOU SHOULD DO ANOTHER REVIEW, OR THE READERS WILL BE LEFT 
WANTING.

Kid Review sighed.

<---------------------->

PREHISTORIC PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA

AND THE END OF AN ESPECIALLY LONG PRE-CREDITS SEQUENCE

The Tribulations of KID REVIEW, Issue #5

Reviewing: [SW10] November 2010: "Beyond the Door"

Written by Andrew Perron

<---------------------->

-----------<>-----------

"Back in 'The Sunset Door', Wyatt Ferguson left the Superhuman World 
(along with Kristi the Animal Woman) to seek help for its people in 
another universe.  This is the story of that journey."

"The world Wyatt travels to has a complex history.  In 1985, the Soviet 
Union launched a limited nuclear first strike - but instead of nukes, 
they used demons, who not only blew shit up but neutralized the NATO 
response. (Which is probably for the best, *but*.) In 2003, Wyatt 
visited and ended up transplanting yet another universe's Warsaw to 
their Quebec.  There was a brief dustup in 2005 involving Ellipsis, by 
which point Warsaw-St. Lawrence had become the world capital.  This is 
where Wyatt heads, in order to make a deal to send some of the 
Superhuman World's citizens over before they run out of food."

"Like much of his work, this is filled with a wealth of incidental 
detail.  Mystic pyramids, temple prostitutes, Barack Obama with an 
attack dog, and the nitty-gritty of living and traveling in a somewhat 
post-apocalyptic world.  Scott is gradually getting better at working 
this stuff in naturally, but some of it still gets baldly stated."

"Wyatt's previous adventures in this world seem to have gotten him his 
own copycat doogooder, but it turns out that it's actually Wyatt 
himself - or rather, the version of him from this world. (...I think?  
They reference some backstory, how this one's a separate piece of his 
soul, but it's a bit convoluted.)  This Wyatt is the Chancellor of the 
Council of Ordered Realities, and since he and our Wyatt can't both be 
members at the same time, he starts back home, leaving Kristi in his 
place to hash out the emigration deal."

"Scott's been improving step by step.  This still has moments where 
it's more like someone describing a story than a story itself, but the 
level of detail makes up for it."

"A bit of a nitpick: The no-lawyers-were-harmed descriptions of the 
Hulks called attention to themselves; it was difficult to figure out 
what they meant unless you already knew.  This seems like something 
that could be made smoother, more subtle."

"Overall, though, a fine improvement in Scott's storytelling skills, 
and a fine step in the journey of the Superhuman World."

-----------<>-----------

Kid Review awoke.  What an odd dream.  He sat up, yawned, got out of 
bed and immediately wanged his head on the dimensional projection 
machine.

"...owwww..."

-----------<>-----------

<---------------------->

Author's Note: The new format of Kid Review came out of three things.  
First, wanting to tie the story more closely to the reviews; second, 
wanting to be able to dash off singular reviews in response to a 
newly-posted story; third, having ideas regarding Saxon's long-dormant 
Letters Page Man concept.  Hopefully, this'll result in the reviews 
appearing more frequently and with less time having passed since the 
story came out.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, in coming issues: The Finishless!


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