LNH/REVIEW: The Tribulations of Kid Review #5
pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu Feb 10 02:49:46 PST 2011
The shifting gray sands of dream. In the depths of slumber, Kid Review
heard a hundred voices speaking as one.
KID REVIEW OF LOONIVERSE-A.
He stood, looking up at the looming forms in the glittering dreamblack
sky. "RACCelestials! Why have you summoned me?"
A CRISIS LOOMS. A POWER LONG LOCKED AWAY IS STIRRING, CAUSING THE
FORCES OF COMMUNICATION TO SLIP OUT OF JOINT. YOU, OUR AGENT, MUST
INVESTIGATE THIS STIRRING AND RESEAL THE POWER'S PRISON.
"Just tell me what I have to do. I'm ready for anything! No task is
WE ARE CHANGING THE FORMAT OF YOUR SERIES.
Kid Review fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
OH, STOP BEING SUCH A BABY.
A silver machine, all curves and swirling metal, manifested itself in
YOU WILL USE THIS DEVICE TO PROJECT YOURSELF INTO THE LETTERS PAGE
"Can't I just zap there directly?"
THE ENERGIES OF THE REVIEW FORCE ARE INTIMATELY LINKED TO THE LETTERS
PAGE DIMENSION. DIRECT USE OF THOSE ENERGIES WITHIN THE DIMENSION
WOULD RESULT IN A POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP, ENDING IN DESTRUCTION.
"Eesh. What do I do when I get there?"
YOU WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LANDS OF THE LETTERS PAGE DIMENSION TO THE
CASTLE AT ITS HEART. AS YOU TRAVEL, YOUR REVIEWS SHALL SHAPE AND BRING
ORDER TO THAT WORLD.
"All right. Anything else?"
YES. YOU SHOULD DO ANOTHER REVIEW, OR THE READERS WILL BE LEFT
Kid Review sighed.
PREHISTORIC PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS
THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA
AND THE END OF AN ESPECIALLY LONG PRE-CREDITS SEQUENCE
The Tribulations of KID REVIEW, Issue #5
Reviewing: [SW10] November 2010: "Beyond the Door"
Written by Andrew Perron
"Back in 'The Sunset Door', Wyatt Ferguson left the Superhuman World
(along with Kristi the Animal Woman) to seek help for its people in
another universe. This is the story of that journey."
"The world Wyatt travels to has a complex history. In 1985, the Soviet
Union launched a limited nuclear first strike - but instead of nukes,
they used demons, who not only blew shit up but neutralized the NATO
response. (Which is probably for the best, *but*.) In 2003, Wyatt
visited and ended up transplanting yet another universe's Warsaw to
their Quebec. There was a brief dustup in 2005 involving Ellipsis, by
which point Warsaw-St. Lawrence had become the world capital. This is
where Wyatt heads, in order to make a deal to send some of the
Superhuman World's citizens over before they run out of food."
"Like much of his work, this is filled with a wealth of incidental
detail. Mystic pyramids, temple prostitutes, Barack Obama with an
attack dog, and the nitty-gritty of living and traveling in a somewhat
post-apocalyptic world. Scott is gradually getting better at working
this stuff in naturally, but some of it still gets baldly stated."
"Wyatt's previous adventures in this world seem to have gotten him his
own copycat doogooder, but it turns out that it's actually Wyatt
himself - or rather, the version of him from this world. (...I think?
They reference some backstory, how this one's a separate piece of his
soul, but it's a bit convoluted.) This Wyatt is the Chancellor of the
Council of Ordered Realities, and since he and our Wyatt can't both be
members at the same time, he starts back home, leaving Kristi in his
place to hash out the emigration deal."
"Scott's been improving step by step. This still has moments where
it's more like someone describing a story than a story itself, but the
level of detail makes up for it."
"A bit of a nitpick: The no-lawyers-were-harmed descriptions of the
Hulks called attention to themselves; it was difficult to figure out
what they meant unless you already knew. This seems like something
that could be made smoother, more subtle."
"Overall, though, a fine improvement in Scott's storytelling skills,
and a fine step in the journey of the Superhuman World."
Kid Review awoke. What an odd dream. He sat up, yawned, got out of
bed and immediately wanged his head on the dimensional projection
Author's Note: The new format of Kid Review came out of three things.
First, wanting to tie the story more closely to the reviews; second,
wanting to be able to dash off singular reviews in response to a
newly-posted story; third, having ideas regarding Saxon's long-dormant
Letters Page Man concept. Hopefully, this'll result in the reviews
appearing more frequently and with less time having passed since the
story came out.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, in coming issues: The Finishless!
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