SW10: Adventures of Lady Sherlock #1: The Report
Scott Eiler
seiler at eilertech.com
Fri Dec 23 19:26:10 PST 2011
The Adventures of Lady Sherlock: The Report!
Postlude to the Summer of Discontent
Previous Episode:
http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/discontent5.txt
---
June 22, 2011:
The waitress asked her friend, "Did you catch the guy who wrote the
graffiti?"
"Nope, sorry. He ducked under the bushes. And you wanted us to not
flaunt."
"Yep. Good call. But now I have to make a report."
"I think he dropped his joint, though. Maybe we could call the cops."
"Nope. They care about marijuana even less than graffiti."
"Can we at least keep the meat from the sandwich he left behind?"
"Yep. Cut the parts he ate. Bread too. Scraps go in the compost.
Bread in the pancake batter."
... Yeesh. A flashback. Lady Sherlock remembered being a waitress at
Denny's, and shuddered. Denny's was all she had for a while. She'd
finally found a job away from there, to support her son. But here she
was back in a kitchen. In a camp. As a counselor. And she still had
to make a report. Incognito work sucked. At least she could get coffee
before the campers come in. At least there was still coffee here.
While she waited for breakfast, she straightened out some of the log
benches. The campers were adults; they were waiting outside, talking
about Godzilla movies... Whatever. But it'd be worth it, if she could
finally get answers. She just had to make it past breakfast with the
campers.
---
Lady Sherlock was back on her home world. The one with the Denny's.
She'd *been* on another Earth. That's where her real boss was. She'd
moved there in January. Since then, the boss had raised a barricade
against her original Earth. She'd only come back in June, piggy-backing
on others who pierced the barricade.
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/discontent3a.txt)
---
Later that morning, she asked her camp boss, "I have to report in. Can
I borrow the office?"
"Uh, yeah, I suppose. With everything that happened yesterday, it must
be important. You must have called in the strike, right?"
"Something like that." Lady Sherlock *was* a secret agent, but not for
whom the camp staff thought.
When she had the office to herself, she set up a sonic jammer and an
electronic jammer. Her conference would be as private as super-tech
could manage. Then she set up her computer.
Her *real* boss's face appeared. "Hello, Lady."
"Hi, Chancellor. What *don't* you know about yesterday yet?"
"I haven't yet figured out who called in the strike against The Trillions."
"It was this old guy named Major Terry! He comes by the campground a
lot. Last night he talked a lot. Ellipsis was hiding out inside him
somehow!"
"Yeesh. One more power to put on my Ellipsis list... Okay. Your turn.
Any questions for me?"
Lady Sherlock asked, "How did the Cyber-Strike part of the plan work?"
"Your old Earth actually had a Cyber-Strike force fighting *other*
aliens four years ago!
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2007/others.htm#cyberstrike ) *Those*
aliens all fled when The Trillions came. But people figured the Plan
might still work. Just dust it off, then recruit the world's two
mightiest programmers to enhance it: Ellipsis, and Madfinger!
"Madfinger deserves some commentary. He's an unrepentant mercenary,
usually working with villains, as in Nashville last year."
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2010/cauldron2.htm)
Lady Sherlock interrupted. "Dammit! That was *him* in Nashville?"
"Uh, yeah. But he also stood in for your version of me who'd gone
missing! Madfinger gave his name as Chang then.
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2005/fergletter_may.htm) His skills
are such that even Ellipsis defers to him. He probably designed the
Cyber-Strike. It may be invading the whole Galaxy now.
"But on the other hand, the Cyber-Strike depends on The Trillions
showing obedience to whoever commands their master ship. What if they
learn disobedience?"
Lady Sherlock asked, "Well, you may be paranoid, but at least you're
thinking ahead... Next question. What happened to the Earth in
Ultimate Darkness?"
"The Bride of the Ultimate Darkness and her Best Man needed to pass the
Earth through it to change its orbit. This itself is no discomfort to
Ultimate Darkness. To it, any *universe* is like a bit of roughage in a
high-fiber diet.
"But how to point Earth the right way? It basically required a
supergenius in constant mental contact. Good thing for them Ellipsis
was on the team - and had Madfinger to handle the Cyber-Strike."
Lady Sherlock asked, "Who can tell us the whole story? Especially what
the Bride went through when she was shifting the Earth?"
The Chancellor hmm'ed thoughtfully. "I don't think Ms. Brown is talking
to media about that. I have never said this before, and I hope never to
say it again: Ask Ellipsis. He was *everywhere* during that strike.
He broke through the alien barricades; he let Madfinger in the command
ship; he mentally told the Bride where the Ultimate Darkness should spit
out their Earth...
"Damnation. If Ellipsis *wanted* to conquer your Earth, he would have
by now. He conquered *mine* once."
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/november.htm)
Lady Sherlock asked, "So why *hasn't* he, if it's so easy for him?"
"It's never *easy*. Every *first* superhuman has a nemesis. Ellipsis
and Mighty Tim were first *together* for you. For both of them, there's
Anvernacht. Since then, Ellipsis has made pretty much *everyone* hate
him at one time or another."
"Okay. I'll skip talking to Ellipsis. Can I come home now?"
"I don't blame you. And I'm happy you call my home your home now."
"Don't flatter yourself. It's just because my son's there."
"Got it. So I'll put it this way... Mission accomplished. Come on
back, Agent Morgan."
"Don't call me that!"
The Chancellor smirked. "Then you *have* dropped your old name. Like
everything else from your old home."
"Not everything. Just ask Lady Holmes."
"Oh, is there something I don't know about your friend Ms. McGraw?"
"Yeah. I talked with her while I was back here. Now that your blockade
is down, she's ready to sign on too. Maybe Denny's was better than
Nashville, but she didn't like it any more than I did."
Chancellor Wyatt said, "Well, I promise it'll be exciting here." Summer
Morgan knew he'd be right.
---
Author's Notes:
As ever, this story is online at
http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/page.php?fn=sherlock.txt .
Here I simply try to tie up plot threads. It's almost nostalgic. And
it works much better now that I've made it one story instead of two. I
know my stories are short by most standards, but Episode One (The
Flashback) could fit on a business card.
I got my last concept for the Summer of Discontent storyline six months
ago. I guess it's only been two months since I wrote a story for it.
But since then, I've taken up cartooning. So coming back to this
storywriting stuff is actually kind of haaaard. 8{C>
I've actually been threatening to stop writing these stories for years -
at least since 2006.
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2006/me2006.htm#background ) But I
kept getting more ideas for it... Not any more. I have just one plot
thread waiting, and it just leads me deeper into the corner I've written
myself into... Back in 2002, I declared the end of the Superhuman World
to be 2022. (http://www.eilertech.com/stories/neverwas.htm#theend )
Since then, I've kept confirming it. So that's a dead end.
Lately all my ideas are going into cartoons. The Superhuman World 2011
story will eventually lead into those same cartoons. And it will change
that world... somehow. Perhaps I'll take as much time as I feel like to
figure out exactly how, while I get the cartoons ready to meet them. I
think we'll all have more fun that way.
(signed) Scott Eiler, 23 December 2011. 8{D>
--------- http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/ ---------
Turns out I'm an anally-fixated oedipal paranoid with
south-of-the-border schizophrenic delusions... But never mind, I've
found me the ideal job. I'm going to run for President!
- Major Honey, scripted by Grant Morrison, Doom Patrol #46, August 1991.
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