MISC: One Day at a Time: The Chronicles of Mike Kittyman #22

[James Mason]

                               Chapter 22:                              
                            Carlotta Zanzibar

Narrator: It's three in the morning! I can't believe they're making me 
work this late. Anyway, stuff happened in the last chapter... I think. 
Now, stuff will happen in this chapter... I think? So now, a hole is 
opening in the place where the people went to.

The Arch Mage: And that's all he did to you?

Mike: Yeah, I don't really know what his problem is.

Sir Greg: Maybe he wanted to mess up your fur.

Mike: By throwing Fruit Gushers at me?

Sir Greg: Maybe he thinks the spirit of Betty Crocker will kill you?

Narrator: Speaking of spirits, I need some.

Mike: Well, whatever, I need to get to the metal place before--

Blue Armor Girl: SO THE DEMONS ARE EMERGING OUT OF HELL FROM HERE!?

Mike: Oh great. It's you.

Blue Armor Girl: DEMON! YOU DARE SHOW YOURSELF ON THIS EARTH AGAIN?

Mike: I was born here! Well, not “here” here, but still...

Sir Greg: Is this who you were talking about?

The Arch Mage: Unfortunately.

Narrator: So now, Blue Bitch shoots lightning at them, and Mike jumps 
away from the lightning, and The Arch Mage sort of floats away from it, 
and Sir Greg stupidly runs into it. And her.

Blue Bitch: FOOLISH- *whack* FOOL- *whack* F- *whack* STOP- *whack*

The Arch Mage: Huh. She seems to be doing well in this fight. Wait, 
where did Mike go?

Narrator: Oh, you know, he's just getting egg nog and Christmas 
presents-- actually, when does this take place again? Summer? Okay. So 
Mike is running. Actually, I think I may remember where he's running 
to!

Mike: Aha! The scrapyard!

Narrator: I have a terrible memory.

Mike: That one is perfect!

Narrator: Well, since we don't get to see what he got, we can only 
assume it will become useful later. Right now, we go back to the curb 
stomping.

Blue Armor Grrrrrrrrl: *inside a protective bubble!* *shooting 
lighting everywhere!* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sir Greg: *hiding behind shack* Okay, but how was I supposed to know 
she can do that?

The Arch Mage: To be fair, she's a dirty fighter, even though she got 
angry at Mike for fighting dirty.

Narrator: ...Why am I never right? So anyway, the blue blunder hears a 
noise.

SFX: Ka-chunk!

Narrator: ...yes, thank you. So guess what she does?

Blue Blunder: AAAAAARGH! *shoots lighting*

The Object That's Also A Metal Thing Shaped Kind Of Like Mike If You 
Squint: *takes the hit like a trooper*

Blue Blunder: AAAhhh... what?

Mike: Ha! *swings his sword! ...but it bounces off the bubble shield.* 
...when did you get that?

Blue Armor Blunder: HA! *does that thing she did, only at Mike*

Narrator: And he conveniently lands where Sir Greg and the other guy 
are. Unfortunately, though, she now knows where they are, and shoots 
lighting at them.

Mike: Well, that plan failed. I really should have paid the person or 
people who worked at that place.

The Arch Mage: I still doubt they would have noticed.

Sir Greg: Any more plans?

Mike: Nope, I'd say we're sc--

The Mysterious Voice: I will help.

Mike: ...rewed? Well, how will you help?

Narrator: By being a Deus Ex Machina!

The Mysterious Voice: I will give you a weapon. A spear.

Mike: Well, okay, I guess if you think it helps. *SPEAR GET* *also, 
he's back to reality*

Sir Greg: So did you get the spear from that voice guy?

Mike: Yep! Now to use it on her!

The Arch Mage: We'll distract her while you use it.

Mike: You don't have to do that.

Sir Greg: Yet we're going to anyway!

Narrator: Did they form a plan in a few seconds? Because Mike hasn't 
had that spear for very long. Well, they *do* have telekinesis.

Sir Greg: Okay, on three, me and Arch Mage will rush her from the side 
and you sneak up on her and use the spear on her.

Narrator: That plan sounds stupid and is doomed to fail, so of course 
it will work.

Sir Greg: One... Two... THREE!

Narrator: She and the other guy without a spear take a side, and the 
blue dumbass is stupid enough to use both her hands to zap both of them 
with lighting.

Mike: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Narrator: ...yeah, he jumps out and stabs the bubble. it doesn't pop, 
but he stabs it again, and again, and again and again and again again 
again again againagainagainagainagai-- look, he stabs at it a lot, and 
very fast too. Apparently, he can do that now. Just when you think he's 
getting tired, he winds up for one last stab. That breaks the bubble 
shield, as well as knocking the blue bimbo on her ass.

Blue Bimbo: AHHHHHH! *thump* How... how did you...?

Mike: Eh, I don't know. Just kind of winging it here.

Blue Bimbo: DOESN'T MATTER! Because I will not let demons win! BECAUSE 
I AM CAR-- *interrupting punch!*

Sir Greg: Shut up.

Narrator: I agree. Are we done yet? ...oh, we *are*? Okay, then, I 
wouldn't really end it here but what*ever*. *yawn* I don't... 
reaaally... *clunk* zzzzzzzzz.

----

Merry Christmas guys! This is my gift to you! (even though I should 
have gotten this out by November) NOEL!