[LNH] Host of Net.Libertines #2

[Andrew Perron]

On Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:52:45 +0000 (UTC), Wil Alambre wrote:

<snip>
> "Will he be requiring to do this every single time?" the Ultimate Cowboy
> asked, pulling his hat down lower over his eyes.  "Seems like a lick and
> a promise to me."

<snip>
> A light tickling of a bell and Billy exited from the store, eating a
> fudgesicle and dabbing his mouth with a paper napkin. "Sorry. Sorry. I
> got distracted by the magazine rack. They had the new issue of..."

...was the thing the Cowboy was objecting to Billy's going in to eat ice
cream, or his getting distracted, or...?

> Despite the larger stature off his assailant and the murderous look in
> those old eyes, the asian worker was holding in his fear well.

You seem to be using the word "Asian" a lot here! (...okay, just twice, now
that I look at it.  Yet it seems like more...)

> The walkie-talkies in the manhandled worker's tool belt crackled to life
> and a heavy slow mandarin barked out sharp orders.

...mandarin?  Not sure which definition's being used there. o.o

> The Fictionaut turned and walked into the thick of the paragraph,
> disappearing between the gaps of the narrative. 

Gloonp!

> "This is Donkey Kahn, direct descendant of Emperor Fatian Qiyun Shegwu,
> leader of the secret horde of the modern mongul empire, and head of
> Net.tropolis Construction & Specialized Workers Union,"

Heeheehee. (Is the Emperor's name supposed to be a pun?)

> Billy looked at his popsicle stick, the words printed on the side, then
> back at the mule-headed man. "I thought he would be a gorilla."
> 
> "Bosh," the cowboy told the boy, "Where's the sense in that? He would
> have to have the name Gorilla Khan, then, wouldn't he?"
> 
> "Oh," said Billy, disappointed. "I just though that, you know, it would
> make more sense."

Heeheeheehee

> The construction workers all reached into their tool belts and drew out
> long, wicked looking swords. Their teeth were showing, a ferocity seemed
> to fill their wide stares.
> 
> "Game over," said the khan.

Hmmmmmm.  Not a huge problem, but it's fairly transparent where the fix for
this will come from.

> AUTHOR'S NOTES
> 
> Dammit this series, I was having so much fun with it that I was not able
> to focus on writing more than two sentences of Super Wizard this week.
> Every time I tried to put down a word of Brody and Andy's face-off, I
> ended up with a paragraph of the both instead. I guess this is both a
> good thing and a bad thing. I may have to rethink this two-series-a-week
> thing if I keep getting hijacked like this. :)

Mwajajajaja!  Excellent, this is fun~

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, hoo-ah.