LNH: LNH Comics Presents #507.5: Who's the REAL The LNH?!

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Mon Aug 15 17:28:51 PDT 2011

On 8/14/11 2:50 PM, Scott Eiler wrote:
> On 8/14/2011 1:29 PM, Wil Alambre wrote:
>> On 2011-08-13, at 8:29 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
>>> Writer's Notes: Hah. Ah, well. This story was inspired by Wil's LNH
>>> Comics Presents cover that he made.
>>> http://wil.alambre.ca/racc/
>>> I wondered what LNH hero would have an LNH insignia on his chest and
>>> so that's how Leaping Nacho Hurter came to be. And Goggles Guy
>>> because of the goggles.
>> This was great fun, I certainly wasn't expecting this :)
> Don't make me send in the Loonie Net Heretic.

LNH:  LNH Comics Presents #507.5: Who's the REAL The LNH?!

      When the mad Dr. Killfile threatened to destroy the
Internet -- THEY answered the call!  Today, THEIR strange
and mighty powers are our last, best line of defense
against crime, disaster, and unspeakable horror!  THEY are
our knights in shining spandex... the LEGION OF NET.HEROES!

[Cover:  A superhero with blonde hair takes off his white labcoat and 
purple tie to reveal a red and blue costume with the letters 'LNH' 
printed boldly in black on his chest.  On the left side of him is a 
circle panel with some guy with goggles staring at the hero's knee.  In 
the center is text that says, "THE LEGION IS BACK!"]

WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE:  The All New Exciting Character called the LNH 
(short for Leaping Nacho Hurter) made his first appearance -- and then 
he died.  And now...

LNH Comics Presents #507.5:

               'Who's the REAL The LNH?!'

       ****                ****                ****

The Legion of Net.Heroes Headquarters --
Net.ropolis, USA --
August 15, 2011 --

LNH Receptionist Kyoko Ishikawa was busy working on her toothpick 
sculpture of Andrew Johnson when another blonde guy wearing a labcoat 
and purple tie burst into the room!  Not again, she thought as the guy 
took off his labcoat to reveal a red and blue supersuit with the words 
LNH on the chest.

"I'm here to join you!!!!" said the superhero.

"Yeah, yeah.  What's your name?" said Kyoko putting aside her Andrew 
Johnson sculpture.

"The LNH!"

"Uh huh.  And that stands for?"

"The Loonie Net Heretic!!!!!!!  I'm on the cover!  Yeah, that's me, baby!!!"

"Did someone say heretic?!" said Self-Righteous Preacher taking his 
bible out just in case some punk heretic needed some bible lessons.

And suddenly, "No!!!!  You can't do this!!  That's me on the cover!! 
Me, the Leaping Nacho Hurter!!  Me!!!  You think you can take my place 

"Nope.  Pretty sure it's me," said The Loonie Net Heretic examining the 
cover again.

"Wait!" said Kyoko.  "Leaping Nacho Hurter!  Didn't you die last issue!?"

"What?" said a puzzled Leaping Nacho Hurter.  "Oh that?  That was just a 
flesh would.  Nothing more."

"Flesh wound?" said Kyoko with disbelief.  "The Ultimate Ninja ripped 
out your heart when the Peril Room safeties failed!!  You were declared 

"Um?  I got better?" said a sheepish Leaping Nacho Hurter.

"And how did you do that?"

"Umm?  Nachocise?"

And umm -- oh yeah, Goggles Guy walked in the lobby.  "I'm in this issue 
too.  And there's nothing you can do about it."  And then he left.

       ****                ****                ****


23,000 Light years from the Loonivearth --
In the Canhaz System --
On the Planet Cutebutinaheartbreakingway --

After leaping through hyperspace, Nacho the Leaping Nacho landed on the 
planet called Cutebutinaheartbreakingway.  It was part of the 
Christicanthinkupagoodname Empire.  On the planet the most powerful 
beings were sentient quadriplegic kittens and puppies.

Needless to say, the Vegas Odds heavily favored Nacho the Leaping Nacho.

       ****                ****                ****


Loonie Net Heretic -- Scott Eiler

Kyoko Ishikawa -- Ken Schmidt

Self-Righteous Preacher -- wReam

Leaping Nacho Hurter & Goggles Guy -- Arthur Spitzer & Wil Alambre

Nacho the Leaping Nacho -- Arthur Spitzer

Writer's Notes:  There is no excuse for this.

Arthur "Can I Haz Nacho?" Spitzer

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