EDDIE MORRA
"Eddie, it's over."
"Over? Why?"
"Because you don't have a job."
HAD LOST
"I have a job."
"Doing what?"
"I'm a writer."
EVERYTHING
"Really? And what have you written?"
"My novel."
"And how much have you done?"
"A little bit of chapter one."
AND SO
"She left me."
"So what now?"
"I don't know."
HE HAD NOTHING
"I know how you can finish your book."
"How?"
"Cut off your penis."
"What?"
"It's the only way you're going to be able to concentrate."
TO LOSE
Aaaaahhhhhrrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!
"Man, I can't believe you actually did that."
THIS SUMMER
"I finished my book in one night."
FROM COLUMBIA PICTURES
"What's this?"
"It's my novel."
"You finished it already."
"Yes."
THE STORY
"I got a one million dollar movie deal!"
"Great! Let's celebrate!"
"How?"
"We'll call up an escort service and they can send over some hookers."
"Hmm."
"What?"
"How about we just order pizza?"
OF A MAN
"You've changed, man."
"You think so?"
"Yeah, you seem so focused now. No distractions.
What's your secret?"
"You don't want to know."
WHO LOST ONE THING
"I've developed an appreciation for music, art and poetry."
"What about sports and action films?"
"Nah."
"So did you cut off your balls too?"
AND GAINED
"I want you back, Eddie."
"Cheryl, it can't be the way it was."
"Why not? Is there another woman?"
"Not, it's not that."
EVERYTHING
"Oh my God. You're gay. That's it, isn't it?"
LIMITED
Martin