LNH: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #41
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Fri Apr 1 14:58:30 PDT 2011
| |-| \
| |-|  / #41
| | |  egion of \
| | | __     / 'The Return of Obscure Trivia Lad'
| | | [___][ \et.__eroes \
| | | \ ] [ __ ] / written by
| |-|     \ Arthur Spitzer
| | The cover depicts a gloved hand reaching out of the ground
| | next to a tombstone with the inscription 'Obscure Trivia Lad --
| | R.I.P.' on it. On the bottom is text in bold print that reads
| | 'Not a Hoax!! Not an Elsewhirl!! Not an April Fool Joke!!'
April 1, 2011 ==
The LNHHQ --
"Obscure Trivia Lad is back."
Time Waster Lad; who'd had a grueling day of eating breakfast, screwing
around on the internet, eating lunch, screwing around the internet, and
was now relaxing in the LNH TV room with his fellow LNH'rs; turned his
head toward the voice. "What? Oh. Obscure Trivia Lad? That you? I
thought you were dead." [Obscure Trivia Lad died in Beige Midnight #4
-- Footnote Girl]
Obscure Trivia Lad nodded his head. "Yes, Obscure Trivia Lad was dead,
but now -- he is alive."
Time Waster Lad took a sip from his Mr. Paprika. "Really. How'd you do
it? Come back?"
"Obscure Trivia Lad doesn't know. Every memory since Obscure Trivia Lad
died is a blank. Other than that, Obscure Trivia Lad feels the same.
Still has same android liquid metal body. The only thing that has
changed is that Obscure Trivia Lad no longer has a shard of the Cosmic
Plot Device in his body. Everything else is the same."
Sarcastic Lad yawned. "Wow. A hero coming back from the dead. That's
never happened before. How daring. How original. I sure hope this
literary masterpiece wins every single Raccie."
"What has happened since Obscure Trivia Lad died? Has Obscure Trivia
Lad missed a lot?"
Time Waster Lad hit the mute button. "What's happened? Not much I
guess. Beige Midnight is over. Although since the writers haven't
posted the last five issues, we can't really talk about some of it.
Like the number of Arthur Spitzer characters that were slaughtered.
That sort of thing."
"And after Beige Midnight? Well, Toony Stork took a leave of absence
and now there's this new person wearing the Irony Man suit -- we don't
know who it is though. My pick for the pool is the chick who's Captain
Killfile's mother -- but that's me."
"And the Legion of Net.Villains split up into two groups. One called
the East Coast Brotherhood of Net.Villains is being led by Mr. Homage.
The other -- The West Coast Brotherhood of Net.Villains -- led by Lagneto."
"And in 2009 there was a fourth Saxon Brenton Imagine Thingee called
'Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the
RACCies!' I think. Can't really talk about that either."
"And 2010 and 2011 -- well nothing much has really happened -- at least
as far as I can..."
"What do mean?!!" said Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy storming into the room
with a lot of wet tea bags in his arms. "We're suffering our greatest
Cry.Sig ever!!! Right now as we speak, a socialist muslim community
organizer has stolen the reins of power!! He's not even Ame.rec.an!!
He was born in some weird country called Hawaii Land or something stupid
like that!!! We were living in a Golden Age before this 'Even Worse
than Hitler' decided to run for President!! And now it's all gone to
Hell!!! All our glorious freedom occupations have become bloody costly
quagmires!!! He destroyed our entire economy before he was even elected!!"
"And now he is in league with fat cat firemen, policemen, teachermen --
to destroy the Ame.rec.an Dream with their greedy obscene Collective
Bargaining Rape Machine!!!! I mean he came this close to taxing to
death every struggling working man that makes over $250,000." Obnoxious
Ame.rec.a Boy put his index finger and thumb as close as they could
possibly be without touching. "That close!! Yes!! That close!! I
mean, it didn't happen. But it could have!!!"
"God help us, every day we get a little closer to being like Cuba or
Canada. Every day!!! And now we're deep in Obama Care-Death
Panel-Socialislam-Cry.Sig Crisis -- and the cliff we're driving towards
is getting deeper and deeper!!!! The end could very well be nigh."
There was silence for a bit as all the heroes digested this rant.
Sarcastic Lad twirled a finger near his head, while he made goofy faces.
"Obscure Trivia Lad would like to ask why you're carrying a bunch of
used Tea Bags in your arms."
"Because I'm saving the country. I'm saving it for all of us.
Palin/Bachmann 2012!!!! Hell Yeah!!!" said Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy
pumping his fist in the air. As he walked away, he began to sing Lee
Greenwood's 'God Bless the USA'.
Time Waster Lad hit the volume button. "Yeah -- that's about it."
Obscure Trivia Lad -- Brian Perler
Time Waster Lad - Ray Rich
Footnote Girl -- Saxon Brenton
Sarcastic Lad -- The Saint
Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy -- Jamas Enright
I wrote this just in case I never finish Beige Midnight (I will finish
it -- I will -- but you know). You see Brian Perler did give me
permission to kill Obscure Trivia Lad, but only if I brought him back.
And while I had a cool way to kill him off -- I couldn't think of a cool
way to bring him back -- so there's this -- the probably lamest way to
ever bring back a hero. And aren't stories where superheroes are just
watching TV the worst superhero stories of all (well I'm sure there's a
good one somewhere).
As for Time Waster Lad saying that nothing has happened in 2010 and
2011, I'm sure he just meant no big events and stuff. He wasn't dissing
all of your fine stories.
The only characters that will probably die and never come back in Beige
Midnight are characters that I created. So possibly Ripping Dancer,
Mynabird, Vector Sublime, Building Suspense Lad, and whoever.
Please feel free to come up with some clever reason why Obscure Trivia
Lad is back and alive. Because you can bet that I sure won't. :)
Arthur "100 in Yuma" Spitzer
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