[LNH/ACRA/WRIMO] Anal-Retentive Archive Kid: A Judicious Use Of Overkill #10
Saxon Brenton
saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
Sun Nov 28 19:10:04 PST 2010
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid: A Judicious Use Of Overkill - part 10
A Legion of Net.Heroes miniseries for the RaccoWriMo writing month
Written by and copyright 2010 Saxon Brenton
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid's hands were shaking. Only a bare ten
minutes or so had been allowed to elapse real time, but subjectively the
Legionnaire had been working more or less non-stop for more than a week,
eating hasty takeaways and taking only a few snatches of sleep when it
became absolutely unavoidable, and otherwise sustaining himself mainly
on sugar and caffeine from innumerable cans of Mr Paprika.
He couldn't allow himself to rest. Not yet. The job was big but
much too important to be left half done.
(And this wasn't just personal inclination - although the combined
effect of the caffeine overdose and sleep deprivation *did* make him more
determined to carry through with it.)
Rather, it was the implacable logic of the situation. If he had
removed the immediate threat to Elizabeth Greenvale and gone no further,
if he'd stopped at the clan of the late Sukoyoza and killed no others,
then this obviously would have set off a gang war as other criminal groups
moved in to fill the void left by that Yakuza group. Therefore the only
way to avoid that was to remove all the other criminal gangs in range so
that there wasn't anyone left to start a gang war. Which incidentally
would have the added benefit of terrorising the few remaining crims into
keeping their heads down. Because there was something big and scary and
there was nowhere you could hide and noone who could protect you. In
any case logic demanded that he needed to kill. Every. Single. Fscking.
Gangster on the east coast.
Not that he could go quite that far. It would be overkill of
overkill. He could only really bring himself to execute the truly
monstrous villains. This was the problem with being one of the good
guys: Justice had to be done, even if mercy had to have a fork shoved
up its backside and roasted over an open fire.
And on a more practical level: he who lived by the story trope died
by the story trope. He had hung around the likes of Fourth Wall Lass
for far too long to be under any misapprehension that if he started
acting like a bad guy himself that the sheer magnitude of the story
forces he had unleashed would lash back and destroy him utterly. One
did not deal with high tension power cables without being aware and
respectful of the forces they transmitted, and take appropriate
precautions against being electrocuted.
So ARAK was taking his time, judging the minds and souls and
timelines of each and every potential victim. Letting some go where it
was warranted, executing the others. The minds he had to deal with were
foul. The number of such minds was depressing. He wanted to go home
and rest. Get some real sleep! Sleep!!!
He stumbled against a wall. Crap. He was doing that more often,
again. And he was thinking in multiple exclamation marks. Not good.
Heinlein had written that multiple exclamation marks were the sure sign
of someone who wore their underpants on their head. No, wait, that was
Pratchett. Wasn't Heinlein the one who claimed that any sufficiently
advanced trickery was indistinguishable from magic...?
He was beginning to feel muzzy headed again. Up until now ARAK had
used these signs as an indicator that it was time to take another brief
catnap before continuing on. But he only really had one target left.
He reached for a last can of Mr Paprika (Now there's an amphetamine
psychosis substitute's pop!) and girded himself as best he could. He
would sleep when they were dead.
He was in a family home. Well, of course they pretty much all had
families and homes. The depressing thing... No, *another* of the
depressing things... were the ties that bind and corrupt. It was like,
he wasn't just having to deal with the gangsters themselves, plus also
their lawyers and corrupt police contacts. (Homer Simpson voice: Mmmmm...
Dead corrupt police...)
It was also that all their otherwise non-criminal family and
associates who might be deluded by some twisted sense of kinship and
obligation to carry on their antics. Like ripples spreading out across
a pool of custard. Or other non-Newtonian fluid... stuff.
So, this was the home of one of someone related to the Lichtenstein
Mafia. After working through the Japanese Yakuza, the Chinese Tongs,
the Indians, Tibetans, Russian Mafia, Sicilian Mafia and seemingly every
other freaking ethnic group including the bloody Belgians, ARAK was now
tidying up the loose ends. The mother of the household had been a
society lady who under other conditions would have continued to organise
cake stalls - but who after the necessary removal of her husband and his
brother had been going to become involved herself in crime as a Don, and
even after her arrest would have continued to be a mover and shaker in
the Lichtenstein Mafia from within jail. So she had been offed.
Now, finally, was the loose end of her son Hans. He would have
taken up an apprenticeship in the Lichtenstein Mafia under his uncle...
but even now with both his father and uncle removed he would have grown
up seething with resentment over his absent family members and taken up
in organised crime as a professional assassin *anyway*.
But not for more than sixteen years, because Hans was currently
seven months old.
Among the ragtag bits and pieces rising and falling from his
hindbrain a passing movie quote waved and gibbered in an attempt to catch
his attention: "They're dead. Every single one of them. And not just
the men. But the women, and the children too. They're like animals,
and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them."
.oO( Whereas I am free of hate, Anakin, ) thought ARAK. .oO( My
strength is the strength of ten because my heart and intentions are
pure. ) He paused and rubbed his eyes. "Or something like that," he
muttered to himself, and without further hesitation used the holistic
decreator to execute the child.
Execution. Not murder. Because murder is what happens to people
who are innocent. To people who wouldn't become not-innocent. Aren't
going to be...
Because murder is what happens to people who, when evaluated
across the full four-dimensional cross-section of their lives, aren't
ontologically uncoming to a predetermined never-not non-innocent state...
Look! The bastard had-has a 87% chance of turning out *really*
bad, and he needed to be removed! Okay?!!!
--~~~=====~~~--
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid flew erratically back to the Legion of
Net.Heroes HQ, staggered to the Plot Device Room and checked his equipment
back in. There. Everything back in order, no pieces broken, all
shipshape and bristle fashion. And now... sleep.
Outside the Plot Device Room he noticed that all the LNH members
seemed to be back. Huh. Had he mistimed his return? He checked the
date and time at the front desk, did a mental calculation, and came to
the conclusion that, no, it was only half and hour or so since he had
checked all that stuff out in the first place. Well, crap. It looked
like ARAK had been bitten by a plot contrivance.
There was a bleep from ARAK's comm.thingy. When he answered the
call and recognised the voice as belonging to Sally, one of the LNH
leader's secretaries. "Ultimate Ninja wants to speak with you."
Oh for crying out loud... *Now* what?
=====
Character credits:
Sally is Public Domain. Created by Descrii (Ian Porell).
Everyone else here created by me.
Author's notes:
In the final stretch now. This will wind up either next issue or
in issue 12.
-----
Saxon Brenton University of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"These 'no-nonsense' solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex
world of jet-powered apes and time-travel." - Superman, JLA Classified #3
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