[LNH/ACRA/WRIMO] Anal-Retentive Archive Kid: A Judicious Use Of Overkill #4
saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
Wed Nov 10 16:14:12 PST 2010
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid: A Judicious Use Of Overkill - part 4
A Legion of Net.Heroes miniseries for the RaccoWriMo writing month
Written by and copyright 2010 Saxon Brenton
After thoughtful preparation Anal-Retentive Archive Kid was ready.
This *wouldn't* be spectacular. No fight scenes, no explosions, no
car chases, and no life-and-death struggles where the outcome was in doubt
and would be determined by testosterone addled determination. ARAK saw
no point in leaving anything to chance when he had no particular ability
for getting a story to favour him even if he was the protagonist.
Actually, the amount of slog work involved meant it would probably
be long and tedious. It was all well and good to aim for victory through
superior firepower - but when you were one person taking on an extremely
large army it was smarter to ensure that the enemy couldn't bring their
full strength to bear. The Legionnaire had gone one better than that. By
his machinations ARAK expected that they wouldn't be able to bring their
strength to bear at all. But that would still require a bit of finessing.
The plan itself was simple enough. He would use the functions of
the temporal inhibitor harness to backtrack to Elizabeth's home before
the Yakuza had left, then use chronological suspension to interrogate
each gangster in turn with the telepathic sifter, as well as other more
exotic devices that ARAK was forward to employing. You may call it mind
rape it you want; it's as good a description as any. In any case, once
that was done he would... deal with them as the situation required.
(That ominous pause is foreshadowing, by the way. Its importance will
become apparent once he begins the wholesale slaughter, accuses the Writers
in general of hypocrisy and cowardice, and breaks Ultimate Ninja's arm.)
So, first up: trace the gangsters. ARAK did a final check that he
had the harness set up correctly, then used the temporal displacement
function to place himself half a second out of phase. Now effectively
invisible and intangible, he took to the air with the flight.thingy and
then jumped back to when he had last seen the villains.
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid glanced around to get an overview of the
situation. He was relieved to see that they were indeed kidnapping the
now unconscious Elizabeth rather than killing her. He had been leery of
attacking and defeating the Yakuza at this point in the past lest he
cause a paradox of some sort - although he had mapped out a contingency
for that as well, had it proven necessary. That small matter having been
dealt with, he got down to the business of finding out what was going on.
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid searched about for the punk who had been
all set to shoot him. Ah yes, there he was. Getting dope slapped for
letting a witness escape. As the Yakuza prepared to depart, ARAK
activated the harness and disjointed Neko from the temporal flow and into
a personal kairos where he would be frozen in time relative to ARAK and yet
still be able to be examined for as long as ARAK needed. Then the LNHer
took out the sifter, plus another item that he hadn't requisitioned from
the Plot Device Room. It was a small, plain, hemispherical gemstone that
Librarian Lady used to sort through the significance of the content of books.
When used along with some way of overviewing the total content of a
book or CD or database - whether by simply skimming through the index or
using a device like a bibliognosticator to psychically dump all the
information into one's own memory - the gem allowed its user to focus on
a topic and become aware of all of the relevant data points. These would
become instantly apparent in the user's awareness, with emphasis on the
most pertinent, and the user could then focus in on each one in turn,
'reading' their full content and context for themself.
Anal-Retentive Archive Kid had a list of information that he wanted
to ferret out of each and every one of the Yakuza who had broken into
Elizabeth's home today, and then from all of their fellow gang members
as he identified and traced those associates out in an ever-widening
pattern. Using Librarian Lady's autoindexing gem would cut each
interrogation down to something like only fifteen to thirty minutes per
person. Still, this would probably go for, subjectively, the better part
of a week. A good thing he had brought a lot of Mr Paprika with him.
He began. ARAK got Neko's name and nickname, who he was and what
crimes he had committed; a general overview. Then he moved on to what
the gangsters were planning to do with Elizabeth, and this raised an
eyebrow. Not so much in surprise, but more in resignation. This was a
four colour superhero universe, so *of course* it had to be something
exotic and weird.
Then Anal-Retentive Archive Kid took note of Neko's associates and
anything pertinent from among his knowledge of organised crime. Finally
ARAK dispensed with intel gathering with the telepathic sifter and moved
on to moral judgements with the moral intuiter and karmic tracer. Was
Neko a good man? (No.) Did he have any redeeming features? (Well, kinda,
but nowhere near enough in ARAK's estimation.) Looking forward through
variously karmically delineated possible futures, were there any 'It's a
Wonderful Life' moments that could be used to deflect him from a criminal
With cold dispassion Anal-Retentive Archive Kid wrote Neko off. When
ARAK returned to designated-present he would take steps to execute him.
Execute. Not murder. Because murder is what happens to people who
Everyone here created by me.
Saxon Brenton University of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"These 'no-nonsense' solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex
world of jet-powered apes and time-travel." - Superman, JLA Classified #3
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