STARFALL/HCC: Going Solo #3: Fight or Flight

[Andrew Perron]

On Sat, 22 May 2010 00:52:25 +0000 (UTC), Phantasm wrote:

> Ever have that feeling where you know you hit the SEND button too soon
> when writing an email, knowing the email you just sent was only half-
> finished?
> 
> That's the feeling I have towards this piece.  It reads like a first
> draft, but I've realized that that's because it IS the first draft.
> It hasn't been thoroughly expanded, it's needlessly hasty in some
> areas and overly expositional in others.  The action is choppy, the
> setting ill-defined, and Stardancer just seems too good to be true -
> especially at the end.
> 
> So, my question to you, the denizens of RACC, is this: what would YOU
> have had Stardancer do at various points?  Also, what could the bad
> guys have done more to hinder her?

Hmmmm.  See, the thing that bothered me most was the setting -
specifically, the various nations.  Besides being the Space version of a
culture, they didn't seem to go above the level of a stereotype of that
culture. (Eesh, that sounds harsh. ^^;)

The action honestly seemed pretty good, just too short.  Indeed, the whole
thing seemed lacking in detail - "asking about where Hiawatha Station is"
could have been its own scene.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, I liked the cover!