SW09: The Warm December, or One Last Bit of Sun
pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Mar 1 07:28:19 PST 2010
On Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:56:36 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
> On Feb 26, 2:07 am, Andrew Perron <pwer... at gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:48:38 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
>>> I've been told I dash about the landscape like a koala on speed. This
>>> is ironic because our world actually has a koala on speed, and I'm not
>> Heh heh heh. Funny, but it could be tightened up a bit.
> Do you think I should actually explain about the Doom Koala of Speed,
> or should I just use my usual phrase "like a monkey on crack"? That
> phrase comes in handy whenever I write about universes without koalas
> on speed.
Oh, the "koala on speed" part is good. I'd just rephrase it. Maybe
something like "People say I dash about the landscape like a koala on
speed. This is because they've never actually met him." Or something like
>>> * Actually, I don't work directly for Death any more, but she was
>>> always a decent boss.
>> Is this the actual personification of ending, or...?
> Why yes she is. I've updated the web site with a link to the story
> about the last time I worked for Death. If you want to do a web
> search on the phrase "ever since Odin started doing my laundry", you
> can find the story for yourself.
Ahhhhhhhhh, I see. Interesting.
>> Okay, this needed a sentence or so of exposition - the phrase "Engines of
>> Reality" is evocative, but not quite self-explanatory enough.
> I agree... the phrase "Treasure Hunt" would be just as applicable for
> most comic-book stories. But I've added a bit of explanation to my
> own story, because the Engines of Reality would be an easy fix to the
> Superhuman World's problems. Too bad it's not gonna happen that easy
> if I can help it.
Excellent; that was just enough exposition, IMHO.
>>> * Today's more boring, just sitting by the Trillions ship waiting
>>> for a story, watching the droids scurry around. Judy's colleague Max
>>> is talking to her about addiction. He says there's something inside
>>> him that makes him do all those bad things. Judy talks him into trying
>>> * Suddenly a spider-droid shoots out a web, hits Max, and pulls
>>> him in! The spider hangs in midair off a high-rise building, and
>>> starts a riot. But Judy can feel what Max does by telepresence. He's
>>> still inside the spider!
>>> * A security droid tries to rescue the spider without the crowd
>>> noticing. He tells Max to crawl up the wall. Max says he can't make
>>> it, but the droid says he can do anything he wants to. They pull him
>>> in near the top.
>>> * Later Max appears by broadcast. He says he's going to stay with
>>> the Trillions and live a new life, as part of their security class. A
>>> lot of people don't believe it's real; others are lining up to have
>>> their chance to be taken away.
>> I'd like some explanation for this one!
> Explanation #1: The Trillions have a security caste that's a bit
> "alienated" from their main body, and more likely to either "go
> native" or recruit from the natives. Earthlings are evenly divided
> among disbelief, outrage, and desire to sign up. I plan to explore
> life among the Trillions more as the storyline proceeds.
> Explanation #2: I wrote this part of the story as a challenge.
I see. I'm still confused as to what exactly happened to Max and why he's
staying. Also: challenge?
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