LNH/ELSEWHIRL/HIGH CONCEPT: World Tales #16

[Jamas Enright]

Blue Light Productions presents:

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|#16 |  | | | |   | |\    |     |   |
|    |  |/ \|  \ /  |  \  |     |   |        FEATURING: Egg Boy and
~~~~~~  ~   ~   ~   ~   ~ ~~~~~ ~~~~                     Crazy Glue

       [The cover is a close up of a silhouette, completely filling the cover. A
             large question mark is pasted over that and a star bubble asks
                      "WHO IS THE NEW PRESENCE IN NET.ROPOLIS???"]
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                         "CROSSING STATES"

Egg Man was the first to encounter Crazy Glue. Which was a little
unfortunate as he had only just arrived in Net.Ropolis and haven't even
had a chance to sign up with the LNH (which he was intending to do so at
his first available opportunity), but crime wasn't allowing him even a
small break.
     The first clue that not everything was fine were the hoards of people
running towards him screaming. Not at him, he noted with some degree of
relief, he had just arrived and wasn't looking to create a bad impression
off the bat. No, they were throwing glances over their shoulders and
rushing madly in any direction they could, as long as it was away.
     Well, he wanted to be a hero, he had special (albeit, admittedly even
to him, stupid) powers (which still didn't, he knew, immediately
disqualify him from membership), so it was up to him to square his
shoulders and march into battle.
     Or rather, push through the crowd until it thinned, then jog
cautiously forward. No sense in throwing himself into danger
recklessly. He didn't know Net.Ropolis at all (see continually made point
about only having arrived, and I mean he only stepped off the bus on the
outskirts of town around twenty minutes ago), but he suspected that the
jewellers sign was the most likely local of criminal activity.
     Two small hints were the two people sticking to the side of the
building, one whimpering, the other unconscious. They looked to be normal
people, just hapless victims of the current villain du jour, who was
hopefully still inside. Well... 'hopefully' in the sense of him being in
time to help, although if the villain was a major powerhouse then
hopefully he'd be wrong in his preliminary 'hopefully'.
     This interior expositionary monologue was all very well, but it
wasn't stopping crime. Egg Man was guessing he wouldn't have time to
change into his costume (which wasn't anything more than a sweater with an
egg on it), so he slipped off his pack, opened the top, stood up straight,
and walked in announcing "Have no fear, Egg Man is here!" (And this is the
shout he'd spent a month on! Just imagine the ones he'd abandoned.)
     Inside he saw four people, two of them on the ground (again, just
normal people), one person lying on a counter (the saleswoman, although he
wasn't entirely sure why she was lying there), and one man in a yellow
spandex outfit one piece that covered almost all his body, leaving only
free his mouth and nose and a shock of green hair. White patches covered
the eyes, but even he could tell that the eyes were widening in
shock. Hopefully terror as well, but he wasn't counting on it.
     "Egg Man!?" the villain said, then repeated louder. "Egg Man???
EGG??? MAN??? Are you kidding me? I have seen some of the best and worst
superheroes around, but that's..." He paused, drew breath. "Well, I knew
this would be coming," he muttered to himself, this time causing Egg Man
puzzlement. "Let's just get on with it." The villain straightened up and
turned fully to face Egg Man. "Haha! You'll never be able to defeat me!
For I am Crazy Glue! And nothing shall stick to me!"
     "Krazy Glue?" repeated Egg Man. "As in...?"
     "No, Crazy Glue. With a C. I'm not having any infringement copyright
issues, it's bad enough as it is without getting lawyers involved, okay?"
     "Right, right, fair enough. Right then... Crazy Glue! I am here to
defeat you, you shall not leave the store with those ill-gotten goods!"
Egg Man pointed dramatically at the necklaces in Crazy Glue's hand.
     Crazy Glue opened his mouth, paused, then said more casually "That's
very good. I can see you've been thinking about this, but I can't say I've
heard of you before."
     "Well, thanks. I'm new here (we know, get on with it!), but I've been
taking a superheroics course extramurally from the Dave Thomas Deluxe
University here, and am hoping to get into the LNH."
     "Good luck with that, but in the mean time." Crazy Glue repositioned
himself into a more confrontational pose. "I have no fear of you, Egg Man!
What are you going to do? Lay an egg?"
     Egg Man grinned (at least, he tried to grin, it was partly a grin,
but also a grimace. He hadn't been looking forward to the mocking taunts
with a name like his). "I think you'll find the yolk's on you!" (Just to
break in again (a lot of editorial asides here (shut up) okay) to say that
yes, there'll be egg jokes, and glue jokes, but I'm going to try to stick
to the story and not end up with egg on my face. (Sigh.)) From the
backpack an egg rose, on its own accord (or possibly attached to wires
depending on how much the budget gets through in time), glowed red for a
moment, then launched itself across the room, striking Crazy Glue on the
shoulder.
     "Ow! Hey, that hurt!" Crazy Glue grabbed his shoulder. "What the hell?"
     "I control the eggs, I can make them extra hard, or make them a
perfect eggy." More eggs rose from his pack, three of them that started
circling Egg Man's head. "Now give up or it will go hard on you!"
     In response, Crazy Glue grabbed some nearby gems and threw them at
Egg Man. Rather than split up into many objects, they stayed together as
one lump, and banged into Egg Man's shoulder.
     "Hey!"
     "You started it!"
     "And now I'm going to end it." Egg Man launched the three eggs at
Crazy Glue, but Crazy Glue ducked behind the counter he was
ransacking. Still the eggs hit the glass, but didn't stop, sending
shattered glass flying.
     "Be careful, there are innocent people here," Crazy Glue called
out. "Then give up," Egg Man called out, trying to see behind the counters
without putting himself in danger of more projectiles.
     "No, you give up," announced Crazy Glue, standing up beside the
saleswoman who was lying on a cabinet. "Or I glue her nose shut and lips
closed."
     Egg Man saw the woman shudder at this, and realised that she was
stuck to the counter, not just lying on it. "Easy now. You step up to
murder, and..." He realised there wasn't much he could do.
     "Don't worry. Just back off out the front, and I'll leave out the
back, and we'll all be happy."
     "And you will have gotten away..."
     Crazy Glue reached for the woman's face. "And she'll live-"
     "Okay, okay. Just... don't, okay. Just don't." Egg Man raised a hand,
the other holding his pack, and he backed out of the store.
     He stood there for three minutes, watching the storefront, when the
flight.thingee appeared. Out strode Catalyst Lass, Cheesecake Eater Lad
and Master Blaster, the latter carrying a large oversized gun on his
shoulder. Catalyst Lass walked up to Egg Man, although looking at the
store rather than him.
     "Don't worry, net.izen, we of the LNH are here to help."
     "Yes, I know, I was-"
     "Please stand back, and let us professionals take charge of the
situation. We'll soon have that villain routed."
     Master Blaster and Cheesecake Eater Lad were looking over the two
people stuck to the outside of the building. Master Blaster examined the
situation through the expedient method of trying to pull the person down,
without much luck but with tearing of clothes, whereas Cheesecake Eater
Lad ran his finger along the join of clothing to brick.
     "He's already gone, out the back-"
     "Please, sir," Catalyst Lass continued, "We of the LNH are used
situations like this, and we'll be the ones to decide if the villain has
indeed left the scene or is still inside holding hostages."
     "Three more inside, Cat," Cheesecaker Eater Lad reported, peeking
inside. "None of them are wearing spandex."
     "Well, okay then! Let's go in!"
     Egg Man opened his mouth to try again, but gave up in the face of
inattention. While the heroes were inside, he carefully extracted his
sweater outfit, taking care not to destroy the eggs he packed away
earlier.
     Donning the sweater, he waited another minute before Catalyst Lass
came back out, talking on a comm.thingee. "-tomper or Organic Lass might
be able to come up with a solvent. It acts like some kind of glue, but
there's no evidence of any actual material. We could cut away the clothes,
but where the skin is touching..." She shuddered. "It is not nice. Check
the files for anyone who could do this, but it isn't familiar to me. We
could have a new player on the scene-"
     "His name's Crazy Glue."
     "Crazy Glue? ... no, I wasn't talking, there's... um, look into the
name Crazy Glue, see if we have anything. I'll get back to you in a
moment." Now Catalyst Lass looked at him. She gave him an appraising
glance and asked sweetly "And who are you? Egg Man perhaps?"
     Egg Man's eyes opened in surprise. "How did you know?"
     "Huh? You mean you are Egg Man? I just... your sweater... are you
some kind of hero?"
     "Yes, I took a course, and came here. Only just arrived, and found
this," he waved at the store. "He called himself Crazy Glue, with a C. He
threatened to glue the woman's face shut if I didn't back off."
     "That was the right decision," Catalyst Lass affirmed. "We can get
back those jewels some other time, but a loss of life would be... you did
right. Tell me what happened."
     Egg Man related his story, which didn't take long. "Clearly he
slipped out the back and got away."
     "Hmm... it's probably a long shot, but we can check to see if there's
some of trail to follow. Egg Man, you ready for a battlefield promotion?"
     "You mean...?"
     "Stick with me, follow my orders, and if I tell you to stay back, you
stay back. Otherwise... consider yourself to an LNHer pro-tem."
     "Wow." While Egg Man grinned (genuinely this time), Catalyst Lass
ducked into the flight.thingee and returned with a scan.thingee. With Egg
Man following her, she went back into the store.
     "Cheesecake Eater Lad," she ordered, walking through, "Please stay
here until the others arrive, with a solution. Master Blaster, take the
flight.thingee and scout around. If we find something, you can follow us."
Without waiting for a response, she exited through the rear and found
herself in an alley behind the store.
     Wrinkling her nose at smells, Cat waved the scan.thingee around. Egg
Man could only look around, hoping for a visual cue, but couldn't see
anything helpful.
     "There doesn't seem to be a trace," Catalyst Lass said, lowering the
scan.thingee. Which made it beep. "Huh?" She pushed some buttons and
peered at readings. Then contacted Dr. Stomper to find out what the
readings meant. "It appears that this Crazy Glue isn't in complete control
of his abilities. We're tracking bonded air molecules that shouldn't be
bonded," she explained to Egg Man. "However." She waved the scan.thingee
around more, getting occasional beeps. "I can only detect the particles if
I can find them. It's a slow trail to follow."
     "Things are sticking to these molecules?"
     "They're certainly sticking to this," Catalyst Lass replied, getting
out a light blue handkerchief that matched her outfit and wiping the
surface of the .thingee.
     "Then let me try something." Egg Man retrieved an egg, and it
exploded, sending albumen and yolk everywhere... in fine delicate strands,
forming a web pattern over the alleyway. A web pattern that was marred by
a line running through the air. A line that matched where Catalyst Lass
had been scanning. "There. The egg is sticking to the molecules, so we can
follow that."
     "That's super!" cheered Catalyst Lass. "Onwards!"
     Several blocks (and a trip to a supermarkette to pick more eggs)
later, they discovered a door they couldn't open. One that had been glued
shut. The door itself was part of a now boarded up clothing store.
     "We're here. I guess," said Egg Man.
     "Hmm... if I didn't know better, I'd say that Crazy Glue didn't know
where he was going. That line double-backed a few times, but not like he
was trying to elude us. More like he was looking for something..."
Catalyst Lass mused.
     "What do we do now?" Egg Man asked, indicating the door.
     "That's something we can deal with." Raising her comm.thingee
Catalyst Lass said.
     "Okay, Master Blaster. Let's keep this subtle, we don't want Crazy
Glue to know we're following him."
     Egg Man looked up to see the flight.thingee come over a building and
hover nearby. The side door open and a large gun poked out. Catalyst Lass
barely pulled him out of the way before a bolt from the gun shattered the
door.
     "I said 'subtle'," Catalyst Lass hissed into the mike.
     "The building's still standing, ain't it?" came Master Blaster's reply.
     Catalyst Lass sighed in exasperation. "Come on," she said, leading
the way inside.
     "Should we get one of those guns first?" Egg Man asked.
     "Despite some opinions, guns are not the answer to everything-"
     "I heard that!" came a distant voice.
     "I find that talking to people is enough for us all to get along
together." Inside the first room was a large display area. A few empty
clothes racks, some scattered scrapes of clothing and discarded brochures
were all that remained.
     "I guess we know why he picked this place," Egg Man said, picked up a flyer.
     "The Glue Store," Catalyst Lass read. "Figures." (Hey, don't look at
me. It's an actually place! I didn't even know about it until I googled
"glue store" a few minutes ago!)
     They took a moment to look around carefully. "Nothing here," Catalyst
Lass said, "Let's move on."
     "Aaarrhhh!" A yell from the shadows told them the direction, but they
could only glance around briefly before something crashed into Catalyst
Lass. Egg Man moved to help, but then another something grabbed him and
tackled him to the floor. Egg Man struggled back, but found his clothes
now attached to the floor. "Stay there," Crazy Glue hissed, before turning
back to Catalyst Lass.
     Catalyst Lass barely managed to extract herself from the coat that
was thrown over her before Crazy Glue was on her again. "Stay down," Crazy
Glue growled, grabbing her arms.
     "Why don't we sit down and discuss this?" Catalyst Lass said,
struggling. "We can talk about our hair," she said, trying to remain
sounding perky.
     "Oh, Cat... we already have. So often, in your room together."
     "Huh? Who are..." Unfortunately, this revelation gave her pause,
which gave Crazy Glue a momentary advantage. He swept Cat's feet out from
underneath her, then slammed her head onto the floor.
     "Ah!" Cat yelled, then screamed harder when she tried to rise and
found her head jerked back as her hair stuck to the floor.
     "Shhh, quiet now." Crazy Glue said, putting a finger on her lips,
sticking them where he touched. "This is the part where-"
     "Leave the lady alone!" An egg into the side of Crazy Glue's head
reinforced Egg Man's point.
     Crazy Glue looked over, then his eyes widened when he saw Egg Man
standing. "How the...?"
     "Looks like my eggs can absorb all that glue of yours," Egg Man
boasted, raising another egg. "So this is the part where you go down."
     "Oh come on! Do you know how likely it is that the one person who can
negate my glue is the other person that I end up fighting? And you only
just got here!"
     "I think we've established that more than enough now," Egg Man
replied. "Here's egg in your eye!" Crazy Glue didn't manage to duck in
time and cried out, falling back as the egg went all over his mask.
     "Catalyst Lass, sorry about this," Egg Man said, sending two eggs
towards her. One splashed on her lips, the other went into her hair. A few
gentle tugs from Catalyst Lass got her hair free.
     "Ew, I'm definitely going to be washing my hair tonight. But for you,
Crazy Glue..." As they both looked over to the villain, Catalyst Lass
gasped as he removed his face mask portion of his costume, removing the
green wig at the same time. "You! But that's..."
     "That's right, it's me. Woke up this morning with these new powers,
and decided, what the hey, let's try out the dark side. Best way I could
think of to try them out. But then I met you," he sneered at Egg Man.
     Egg Man levitated yet more eggs. "No idea who you are, but if you're
a villain, then we're the heroes to defeat you."
     "So... you were always evil?" Catalyst Lass asked, still trying to
get to grips with the situation.
     "No, I was never evil. But with this opportunity, how could I not
give it a go?"
     "But... Special Bonding Boy!"
     "Bonding yes, but now glue bonds. So Crazy Glue! Get it? Get it? Ha!"
     "And your voice is deeper," she pointed out. "The glue makes the air
thicker, changing my voice," Crazy Glue explained. "But we can't stay here
swapping exposition forever, or you'll come up with some strange idea like
how the glue is changing the neurons in my brain, blah blah blah. I'm evil
now, accept it!"
     Crazy Glue leapt at them and... you know, it'll be nice to say that
what happened next was an amazing kung fu fight, with lots of fists and
dodges and moves worthy of Tony Jaa, but... let's face it, Egg Man had no
idea, Crazy Glue nee Special Bonding Boy never managed to learn from the
ninja, and although Catalyst Lass does have some skill, she didn't want to
get too close in case he glued her again.
     Yeah... let's just call it what it is. A stupid, silly slap
fight. The kind that would have disgusted five year olds...
     KA-BLOOM!!!
     "Now, who do I have to shoot to put out of my misery?" growled a new
figure, still holding a smoking gun.
     At the explosion, the group sprang apart, Crazy Glue back and staring
wildly around, Egg Man and Catalyst Lass towards Master Blaster. "Master
Blaster, stun only, that's Special Bonding Boy! Egg Man, hit him with more
eggs!"
     "Uh... sorry, Catalyst Lass, I'm out. Master Blaster, do you have a
gun that shots eggs?"
     "What? I'm going to pretend I never heard that." Master Blaster
glared at Egg Man until he hung his head and looked away.
     Which meant he saw when Crazy Glue leapt up and stuck to the
ceiling. "Hey, get back here!" Egg Man shouted.
     "I'll get him," Master Blaster grinned, and started shooting. Blasts
shook the ceiling, making holes, but not hitting Crazy Glue. "Like a
spider monkey... I hate spider monkeys!"
     "Stop shooting," Catalyst Lass ordered. "We are not shooting Special
Bonding Boy!"
     Before Master Blaster could obey, his target was gone, through one of
the holes he'd shot. "Bah, got away. Special Bonding Boy? What's he doing
being a villain? Hey, this isn't some kind of test is it?"
     Catalyst Lass bit her lip before replying. "I'd like that to be true,
but..." Egg Man cocked his head. "Do you guys hear that?"
     Listening carefully, they all heard a creaking, then a
groaning... then the ceiling, weighted firmer by glue, collapsed on them.
     Silence reigned. And ruled. And controlled. And commanded. And
dominated, governed, managed, generally led, held sway, maintained an iron
fist-
     BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM!
     Bolts of light punctured the debris, followed by Master Blaster
hauling himself out. "Safety's off! Show me your face so I can blast it
off!"
     Crazy Glue failed to obligingly present himself as a target. Master
Blaster grunted, and set about freeing the other two.
     While Egg Man poked himself to see what hurt the most, Catalyst Lass
stared into the distance. "Special Bonding Boy was one of out best. And
now he's turned." She turned and smiled sweetly at Egg Man. "But we also
have a new member of the LNH. Crazy Glue's out there, and we'll find
him. Come on, let's be heroes!"

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NOTES: No characters used with permission, although I don't think any of
them need particular permission. (Then again, this is already an
Elsewhirl, which explains any bad characterisation. Yeah, that's it...).
     The main reason it's an Elsewhirl, of course, is because of what I do
to Special Bonding Boy. But if people really want it to be mainstream...
     As for the story itself, I thought of various "heroes coming to town"
ideas, but nothing really grabbed me (although I get to have my cake and
eat it too with Egg Man). But then I thought "what if a villain
‘immigrate' into being a hero?" Yeah... but that's been done (Tsar Chasm
and Acton Lord in the LNHiverse, let alone other comics). So hero to
villain, which has also been done before, but typically the revelation is
"I've been a villain all this time!" Since this is supposed to be about
new arrivals, that gave me something else to focus on.
     Could this be better? Easily. But this is better than my previous
entries into the contest!

-- 
Jamas Enright
Blog: http://www.jamasenright.com
Homepage: http://www.eyrie.org/~thad/
Blue Light Productions homepage: http://www.blue-light-productions.com/