SW10: April 2010: What About Me and Judy?

Thu Jun 3 16:32:03 PDT 2010

Commentator:  Wyatt Ferguson.

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After all these years, my lady and I are finally set to get married.
But there's considerable opposition. (30 Apr)

    * I've been courting Judy Kraaco on and off since 2001.
    * We're getting married at a campground by a pond in northern
Indiana. Fred Pierce, one of my few friends from Indiana, is
officiating; he's been ordained since we got out of high school there.
    * The wedding will be family only. We should easily fit inside one
of those campground picnic shelters.
    * All my side of the family is coming. Judy's side is too, except
for maybe her grand-niece Mary Mystery. Fine with me. Mary's taken up
black magic, which can't be good for a wedding day.

On the wedding day the Reverend Fred says he's delayed the wedding
long enough, and one other friend is secretly the devil anyway. Hmm,
looks like Rev Fred's gone paranoid since Judy met him with me last
September.

    * But Rev Fred's not the only one who's paranoid. Police have shut
down the pavilions because of a murder plot! Well, there goes the
wedding venue. And the police are looking at me funny right now.
    * I'm not a criminal, but I am allergic to authority figures. And
I've long since acquired the reflex: When in danger, disappear.
"Disappear" is actually my best superhuman power. But now isn't the
best time, if I'm going to take this lifetime commitment stuff
seriously.
    * I compromise; I invite Judy along. When she declines, I indulge
my emergency reflex by myself, but I stay close: I just avoid police
by going up a hiking trail. This trail will go all the way to a
shopping mall if I want.

When I stop for a rest, someone says my co-plotter owes them $724 -
and then runs off. My brother Calvin is nearby in his car, saying,
"Son of a gun."

    * ... Oh, come on. I'm being framed, and probably impersonated
too. I don't know any superhumans who impersonate people, but normal
people can do that, and demons do it all the time. Just this once, I
stop to tell Calvin this instead of just disappearing.
    * Calvin responds, "Judy says, don't bother. You already ran away
today, and that's it."
    * "Oh? Is this the moment I'm supposed to prove my undying love by
letting myself get framed? I'm sorry, but that's happened before, and
I swore never again."
    * "Well, yeah. I'd say go back, but Judy says she knows you
won't."

As I depart, I hear Mary Mystery say, "So there." I look around, but
Mary's not there.

It would be nice if I were actually a mage myself, instead of just a
guy who has an unexplainable link to mystic power. I do have friends
who are "white mages", though. They say they don't know whether Mary
Mystery actually summoned a demonic duplicate, but she probably cast a
paranoia spell on the venue. That would explain why I felt so much
like running away, when I know damn well no government can hold me.

Last I heard from Judy, she'd moved in with Mary Mystery and a commune
of faith healers. Mary's supposedly using her powers for good - and
for contributions. She tells her partners she's inspired by Bible
women - without mentioning her links to (among others) the infamous
Bible women Herodias and Jezebel, and the goddess Asherah.

Well, Judy and I both chose. Maybe Judy's life will still work. Maybe
mine will too.

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This story takes place alongside the rec.arts.comics.creative posting
"Night of the RACCies!", in which I alluded to a wedding incident.  I
do consider the RACCies post to be canon for this universe, so I
suppose I owe the world this story now.

(signed) Scott Eiler