MISC: One Day at a Time #6
Andrew Perron
pwerdna at gmail.com
Fri Dec 17 16:30:32 PST 2010
[Editor's Note: A bit of fiddling with the format here; this issue is
written as a radio script!]
Chapter 6: Cast Round-up! (Except for John. No one cares about him.)
Mike: So, where do you work?
Alex: Oh, just a local coffee shop. You?
Mike: I'm just a-- nice try! But the last few attempts were good.
Alex: Man. This game is fun and all, but why are you risking your
secret identity like this?
Mike: I like to trick people. Oh, there are the police now!
Victor Montague: Well, look what the cat dragged in. An excuse for me
to make that pun! [turns to Robertson] You owe me five bucks.
Robertson: Man, and I was sure he would have left by now!
Mike: Can't just leave unconscious criminals on the floor. By the way,
there are a couple more back in the clothing department.
Announcer: Meanwhile, at the clothing department!
Still-conscious Bomberguy: ...I don't think they're coming back. Are
you awake yet?
Still-unconscious Bomberguy: ...
Still-conscious Bomberguy: ...better just sleep this off.
Announcer: Back at the entrance!
Victor Montague: I've got questions to ask you. Who are you?
Mike: I'm Mike.
Victor Montague: Got a last name?
Alex: Kittyman.
Victor Montague: Really?
Mike: No, but it's good enough.
Victor Montague: Write that one down, deputy!
Robertson: I already am.
Victor Montague: Ha haaaaa... [leans in to Robertson to whisper] Don't
embarrass me at work!
Robertson: Don't argue with me about this now!
Victor Montague: I will--
Mike: Ahem!
Victor Montague: Oh, right! Anyway, who's *she*?
Alex: I--
Mysterious Voice: I CAN HELP YOU.
Alex: ...I need help? Hey, where are we?
Mysterious Voice: INSIDE YOUR MIND.
Alex: Really? It's quiet in here. Wait, what's my body doing?
Announcer: Meanwhile, outside her body!
Alex: ...luuuuuuuuusulblub... [twitch twitch and also drool]
Victor Montague: ...Is she usually like this?
Mike: From what I know, no.
Victor Montague: O... kay. Next question! Can you do that free-running
stuff?
Robertson: Le Parkour?
Victor Montague: Yeah, that.
Mike: I'm not sure. Want to see me try?
Victor Montague: Would I!
Mike: Okay. Here I go!
SFX: *footsteps running and hitting the wall* *Mike falling flat on his
face*
Mike: Apparently not. Ohhhh...
Victor Montague: You sure? I think you can do it if you try hard
enough.
Mike: Fine, I'll give it another go. I'll hype myself up first...
*sigh* Okay, okay. Here we go, here we go. HERE I GOOOO!
SFX: *footsteps running up the wall, almost making it... but not
quite!*
Victor Montague: Ehhhh... try it again.
Mike: *sigh*
Announcer: Eight meetings between his face and the floor with varying
degrees of failure later...
Victor Montague: Try it once more, I think you almost got it!
Mike: No.
Victor Montague: Okay then. Can I keep asking you questions?
Mike: [gets up] [brushes self off] As long as it doesn't involve
anything physical.
Victor Montague: No, no. Now then, how would you like an Honorary
Police badge?
Mike: Does it have some sort of tracer on it?
Victor Montague: ... [whispering] Damn it, Robertson, you said he
wouldn't notice!
Robertson: Technically, he didn't. He just guessed.
Victor Montague: You figured out our plan. Clever. That's why you're
perfect for the force.
Mike: Yeah, probably, but still. You tried to pull off that trick, so
I'm going to have to say no. But I will keep the badge, now that I've
taken out the transmitter.
Victor Montague: What!? But how did you do that?
Mike: It was just attached to the back. [crushes it]
Victor Montague: Ah. Well, then... can't think of something witty.
Mike: Indeed. And that's why I'm leaving! Thanks!
Victor Montague: What about her?
Mike: Not my problem!
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