MISC: One Day at a Time #6

[Andrew Perron]

[Editor's Note: A bit of fiddling with the format here; this issue is 
written as a radio script!]

  Chapter 6: Cast Round-up! (Except for John. No one cares about him.)

Mike: So, where do you work?

Alex: Oh, just a local coffee shop. You?

Mike: I'm just a-- nice try! But the last few attempts were good.

Alex: Man. This game is fun and all, but why are you risking your 
secret identity like this?

Mike: I like to trick people. Oh, there are the police now!

Victor Montague: Well, look what the cat dragged in. An excuse for me 
to make that pun! [turns to Robertson] You owe me five bucks.

Robertson: Man, and I was sure he would have left by now!

Mike: Can't just leave unconscious criminals on the floor. By the way, 
there are a couple more back in the clothing department.

Announcer: Meanwhile, at the clothing department!

Still-conscious Bomberguy: ...I don't think they're coming back. Are 
you awake yet?

Still-unconscious Bomberguy: ...

Still-conscious Bomberguy: ...better just sleep this off.

Announcer: Back at the entrance!

Victor Montague: I've got questions to ask you. Who are you?

Mike: I'm Mike.

Victor Montague: Got a last name?

Alex: Kittyman.

Victor Montague: Really?

Mike: No, but it's good enough.

Victor Montague: Write that one down, deputy!

Robertson: I already am.

Victor Montague: Ha haaaaa... [leans in to Robertson to whisper] Don't 
embarrass me at work!

Robertson: Don't argue with me about this now!

Victor Montague: I will--

Mike: Ahem!

Victor Montague: Oh, right! Anyway, who's *she*?

Alex: I--

Mysterious Voice: I CAN HELP YOU.

Alex: ...I need help? Hey, where are we?

Mysterious Voice: INSIDE YOUR MIND.

Alex: Really? It's quiet in here. Wait, what's my body doing?

Announcer: Meanwhile, outside her body!

Alex: ...luuuuuuuuusulblub... [twitch twitch and also drool]

Victor Montague: ...Is she usually like this?

Mike: From what I know, no.

Victor Montague: O... kay. Next question! Can you do that free-running 
stuff?

Robertson: Le Parkour?

Victor Montague: Yeah, that.

Mike: I'm not sure. Want to see me try?

Victor Montague: Would I!

Mike: Okay. Here I go! 

SFX: *footsteps running and hitting the wall* *Mike falling flat on his 
face*

Mike: Apparently not. Ohhhh...

Victor Montague: You sure? I think you can do it if you try hard 
enough.

Mike: Fine, I'll give it another go. I'll hype myself up first... 
*sigh* Okay, okay. Here we go, here we go. HERE I GOOOO!

SFX: *footsteps running up the wall, almost making it... but not 
quite!*

Victor Montague: Ehhhh... try it again.

Mike: *sigh*

Announcer: Eight meetings between his face and the floor with varying 
degrees of failure later...

Victor Montague: Try it once more, I think you almost got it!

Mike: No.

Victor Montague: Okay then. Can I keep asking you questions?

Mike: [gets up] [brushes self off] As long as it doesn't involve 
anything physical.

Victor Montague: No, no. Now then, how would you like an Honorary 
Police badge?

Mike: Does it have some sort of tracer on it?

Victor Montague: ... [whispering] Damn it, Robertson, you said he 
wouldn't notice!

Robertson: Technically, he didn't. He just guessed.

Victor Montague: You figured out our plan. Clever. That's why you're 
perfect for the force.

Mike: Yeah, probably, but still. You tried to pull off that trick, so 
I'm going to have to say no. But I will keep the badge, now that I've 
taken out the transmitter.

Victor Montague: What!? But how did you do that?

Mike: It was just attached to the back. [crushes it]

Victor Montague: Ah. Well, then... can't think of something witty.

Mike: Indeed. And that's why I'm leaving! Thanks!

Victor Montague: What about her?

Mike: Not my problem!