MISC: One Day at a Time #5

[James Mason]

                         Chapter 5: Cat Meets Girl

  Oh, man, I'm going to be late! I shouldn't have stopped to have that 
chocolate smoothie. Curse my love of chocolate! I just hope nothing 
gets in my w--

                                 *BOOM!*

  Some kind of bomber guys were attacking! A female voice shouted, "Son 
of a--"

                                 *BLAM!*

  "--ucking assclown!"

  One of the bomberguys shouted, "Well, don't we have a potty mouth! 
Little girls like you shouldn't be saying such words."

  "I'M FUCKING 26!"

                                 *KICK!*

  "I... only let you hit me... because you're a girl. Ugggh..."

  "Would you like some more?"

  "Gaak! Blarg!"

  "Yeah, thought as much. Now where wa-- CRAP!"

                                 *BOOM!*

  "Hell," she said, "there's more."

  "And they aren't very nice!" piped up the bomberguy.

                            *stomp! a little*

  "Indeed."

  Another bomberguy got into the act. "Okay, then, grenades for you!"

                                 *toss!*

  "Shit!"

  *Grenade catch that would score a perfect 10 at the Olympics! If they 
           had a grenade tossing and catching event, anyway.*

  I landed in cat-man form. "You should share."

  *Throw grenade in a direction where there are no civilians! Also, it 
                               explodes!*

  She didn't react like I thought she would. "KITTY! :D"

  I gave one of the bomberguys a punch in yo' face! "Hey, are you ok?"

  "Aren't you a kitty!"

  "Oh... kay then. Let's get out of here. There are more Bomberguys 
around and I don't think you can take one."

  "You deserve pettings for being a good kitty!"

                               *petpetpet*

  "Well, I don't-- mmmmmm, that feels niiiiiiice... but let's get out 
of here. HUP!"

                    *Pick up!* *Carry over shoulder!*

  "Hope you don't mind."

  "You are just adorable!" said she. "What's your name?"

  "Oh, I'm... Mike! My name is Mike, hello."

  "That's cute! My name is Alexander."

  "Really?"

  "My parents expected a boy, and were too lazy to think of anything 
else. They still loved me, though."

  "That's nice."

  "So hey, how come you're walking and talking like people?"

  "Umm... genetic experiment?"

  "Experiments in cuteness, I reckon! I could just pinch your cheeks, 
you're so cute!"

  "Are you even listening?"

                      *BOOM!* *carefully put down*

  "Crap, there's another, and another, and another, and oh wow we're 
surrounded!"

  "That's right!" yelled Random Bomberguy From The Crowd. "Now don't 
make any sudden movements."

  I leaned in close to whisper. "Okay, now, when I count t--"

  "HAIII-YA!" Alex picked up a Bomberguy and started whacking another 
guy with him.

  "...Huh. Well, when in Rome!" I pulled off a German suplex on one, 
landing on another guy by pure accident. But at least he was a Bomberguy!

  The remaining Bomberguy said, "Uh... uh... uh... time to blow this 
place!"

                                *THWACK*

  Alex suddenly ran off, yelling "I'm gonna to be late!"

  "Well, at least I've got the detonator." *break!* "I should round up 
these guys for the police. Good thing there were only ten of them. 
Alexander's going to realize the people were evacuated and there won't 
be anyone at her work. Hopefully the police won't bother her too mu--"

  "WHO WANTS A HUG?!"

                                 *HUGS!*

  "Realized no one was there, did you?"

  "Yep! Now I can spend time with Mr. Kittyman!"

  "I already told you, my name is Mike."

  "But you didn't tell me your last name!"

  Crap, she's right! "Well, uh, as long as you're here, help me lift 
these guys."

  Alex picked one up and carried it over her shoulder. "Like this?"

  "...not quite, but it'll do."