SW10, CONTEST: The Opposites (High Concept #8)

[Scott Eiler]

(Imagine this cover:  A fight poster with this caption.

HE'S BACK -
Against The Most Unlikely Foe!
PSYCHOVANT THE DUCK
vs.
SAINT CECILIA!

Saint Cecilia is represented by a picture of a medieval mosaic.
Psychovant has his now-famous "demon duck" pose, as seen in Superhuman
World stories.  I should have a real cover ready fairly soon.)

     WORLD JOURNAL  MONTHLY
March 30, 2010

THE OPPOSITES!
Can Unlikely Buddies Save Earth from the Abyss?

Gaia and Death met in a church in France to choose their champions. To
any who looked at them, they seemed like nuns. No one disturbed them.

Gaia held up a tabloid newspaper and spoke: "Mine is life but carries
death. Or fancies he does. And he did not come from me."

Death was silent. She simply pointed at a mosaic on the church floor.

"... I see. Yours is death but carries life. Or fancies she does. And
she did not come from you. Appropriate. Let us proceed."

Gaia took a piece of clay from a pouch. She pressed it onto a picture
in the newspaper, then peeled it off.

A duck was stuck to the clay - as though it had been peeled out of the
picture! It stretched to duck size - and then human height! And it
spoke: "&^@%ing Gak! Have I been kidnapped by super-penguins!?"

"You know better, comic bird. I am Gaia, Life Goddess of the Earth."

"&^@% me hard, I thought Gaia was the *fabulous* goddess of gays! But
don't let that interrupt our relationship because I just *know* it
will be *fabulous*. You may address *me* as Psychovant, Lord God of
Duck Vengeance!"

"Hardly. In Lord God terms, you are a minor demon in comic duck form."

"So if you're so damn holy and I'm so damn lowly, why you talking to
me at all?"

"You and one other will now go forth to defend both Life and Death."

"&^@%ing defend your own damn selves. I'm gone... Gak!" As Psychovant
the Duck turned to stalk off, Death touched him and pointed at the
floor.

"God damn, lady, you're creepy. You saying I need to be six feet
under?"

Death shook her head, then traced a line around the mosaic on the
floor.

"Oh, I see. I admire the interplay of the different colored tiles and
the devotion the architects obviously had, so I hope you don't mind if
I express my appreciation in my own unique manner and SHOOT THE
MOTHER&^@%ER UP!"

Psychovant pulled an impossibly large gun from under his wing, and
shot a burst of fire at the floor. Dust rose - and took the form of a
woman with a harp! As the woman solidified, Gaia said, "Your partner
will be the Christian saint Cecilia."

Psychovant responded, "Oh, will she? I bring a &^@%ing big gun to this
enterprise. What's she got?"

"Saint Cecilia is the matron of musicians in her belief system. She
was put to death by burning. When that didn't work, she was beheaded.
She preached for three more days, before my acquaintance finally took
her." Gaia nodded at Death. "At the very least, Cecilia is durable."

"Oh? Let me tear her a new orifice to preach through!" Psychovant shot
Saint Cecilia. The saint bled. But she held out her arms, and without
moving her lips finally spoke: "I forgive you."

"Oh yeah? Well..."

"No more words." Cecilia's harp grew to encompass her - and the duck!
They all disappeared - to be replaced by an acoustic guitar with wings
and a grin-shaped hole!

Gaia commented to Death, "Now we see how the opposition of our
champions only enhances their commonality, especially when enhanced by
the realm of legend they both partake of. Now they go to face their
true opposition. We shall observe."

The walls of the church faded to darkness. Gaia, Death, and the flying
guitar remained. A dark shape approached them all. "There. A little
lost sliver of the personality of the Ultimate Darkness. Other Earths
in other universes call these things Null or Void or Hunger, and have
legendary battles to repel them. We shall soon see what battle occurs
for us."

The winged smiling guitar flapped and strummed as the dark shape oozed
around it. It stayed visible, though, like a lighthouse through fog.
The dark shape receded, carrying the light.

Gaia concluded, "As we hoped. The spirit of Psychovant gives even
Nothingness more than can be digested, and the soul of Saint Cecilia
gives guidance toward the Infinite. Infinity is after all the opposite
of Nothing. Those opposites will meet and work together, even as
Cecilia and Psychovant did, and as you and I do."

Death nodded.

---

Author's Notes:  These credits were fun to write...

This story can be found online at http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2010/opposites.htm
.  There is some extra story material there, including hyperlinks and
an afterword by the proliferate Wyatt Ferguson.

Who knows how many companies have tried to trademark Nothingness? "The
Void", "The Hunger", and "Null the Living Darkness" are all characters
of Marvel Comics. "The Darkness Before Creation" is a character of DC
Comics, and if it ever shows up in a movie, Alan Moore will loudly not
take credit. Gaia (not Gaea), Death, and Saint Cecilia are all public
domain. But at least Psychovant the Duck and the phrase "Superhuman
World 2010" are copyright © 2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. I
wanted to use The Elf With A Gun, but Marvel owns that one too, and
it's more fun to write Psychovant anyway.