LNH: Sexuality and Assumptions

Tom Russell milos_parker at yahoo.com
Tue Sep 29 09:04:47 PDT 2009

Oh, for the love of...

If I was angry, Martin, it was because you went public with private
details, and because you presented them in such a way that made Jamie
and I, but in particular myself, an over-reaching, tyrannical,
intrusive control-freak, and that I had _demanded_ changes to your
story instead of offering suggestions and advice.  A characterization
that I think is untrue; others who are working on Eightfold stories
would, indeed, likely disagree with that characterization.

But, you know what, Martin?  I'm going to buckle down, finally, and
admit it: you're absolutely right.

You argue that my reviews were "vindictive".  That would include, I
assume, the positive reviews of Superfreaks?  The ones where I praised
your detail work?  The courtship of Edward and Mary that I found so
entertaining?  Those were vindictive, right?  That was me saying,
"boy, I'm going to show him!"  It couldn't possibly be that I found
those stories to be better-written than the ones that got negative
reviews, that they had more of the things I like and less of the
things I didn't?  No, they must have all been written in a years-long
white-hot rage, I just wrote the positive ones to confuse you.

I often compared the series unfavorably to LAW AND ORDER, and, if I
recall correctly, you chaffed quite a bit at this: you were more
influenced by CSI, so why did I keep judging it by the standard of LAW
AND ORDER?  It certainly couldn't be that I wasn't judging it at all,
that I was implying that my taste was more LAW AND ORDER than CSI,
which might be a reason why I wasn't digging it?  I couldn't have been
giving you an out, could I?  And by implying, I mean, actually saying
the words, my taste is more LAW AND ORDER than CSI.  I shouldn't have
left it so vague.  Like the time I sent Martin Rock to jail without a
trial, in clear violation of civil rights (as you said again and again
and again), where I implied that it was a bail hearing and that he had
been remanded to custody.  And, again, by implying I mean, writing the
words, "Martin Rock's bail hearing" and that the judge said he was
"remanded to custody".  Boy, you really got me there.  I just wasn't
man enough to admit it!

When I had ideas about aesthetics and human psychology that are
completey the opposite of yours, about which there can be no
agreement, it wasn't because we have different and diametrically-
opposed tastes-- it's because I'm a mean, angry bastard who was
"holding" those "opinions" just to get my revenge on you!

And when I stopped reviewing your stories, on the grounds that you
thought my reviews had no validity, and that, frankly, I didn't want
to start an argument every time I reviewed one, that totally wasn't me
trying to salvage things, that wasn't me trying to stop things from
blowing up, but rather a cunning plan to escalate it with the express
purpose of having me lose the ability to write the only LNH character
I have an interest in writing.  Bwahahahahaha!  I'm not sure why,
exactly, I did all that, but who knows what I was thinking, so
consumed was I by broiling rage?

And when I asked that Best Flamewar be replaced by Best Discussion,
when I said, please go ahead and post those other issues of PIGS IN
TIME that you wrote, when I expressed sadness at what had happened to
our friendship-- all that was just to goad you into opening it up
again, into calling me vindictive, because there's nothing my evil,
evil heart likes more than to argue with people in circles without any
hope of resolution.  I think later tonight, I'm going to call my my
racist, Republican grandfather to talk about health care reform.

You got me, Martin.  I have collapsed under the weight of your
infallible, remarkable arguments.  You were right.  You always were
and always are, about everything, every time.  I'm so, so sorry it
took me so long to admit it.


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