Misc/Acra: Honey-Love Bunny #3

Matthew Brande beyond.brande at gmail.com
Fri Nov 20 15:15:02 PST 2009


Honey-Love Bunny Makes a Scene

A stroke of luck came upon Honey-Love Bunny.  It was an old friend.
Scott from
Accounting gave a few strokes between Honey-Love Bunny's flippity-
ears, and did it ever feel so good!

"Long time no see, buddy!  Hey, let me and Carolyn take you out to
this new
restaurant we heard about-"

Honey-Love Bunny waves Scott off; Honey-Love Bunny is off all meat
tuna-fish tacos.  Mmm... tuna-fish tacos.  Scrumptious.

"Oh, come on!  You'll like it, I promise!"  Honey-Love Bunny
agrees.  "Great!  You're a pal!"

Honey-Love Bunny was flattered; it had been ages since anyone had
wanted to do
anything.  It was not so flattering, however, in deciding what to
Really, Honey-Love Bunny was confused, as Honey-Love Bunny didn't have
visible male or female parts.  Honey-Love Bunny looked to the spot
where one or
the other should have been, viewing instead a vast area of nothingness
the pink and white fur.  Was he so confused?  Or was she so confused?
It was
so confusing!

Honey-Love Bunny went into a leading women's department store.  There,
she was
greeted with great scorn and criticism.  At the end of Honey-Love
Bunny's trip,
she was excommunicated from the store, from being a woman.  Honey-Love
went into a leading men's clothier.  There, he was laughed at, yes,
received no overly harsh criticism or shunning.  They clothed Honey-
Love Bunny
in a tuxedo and top hat.  The tuxedo, however, had to be made to fit
his poofy
figure.  They accepted Honey-Love Bunny as a man.  "But no more
poofs," the
clothiers' manager commented after selling to Honey-Love Bunny.

That just put him over the top.  Him!  HIM!  Honey-Love Bunny!  Wow,
does it
feel good or what?!  Honey-Love Bunny hopped down the street, showing
off HIS
new top hat and tuxedo.  Honey-Love Bunny was a man moving up in the
though he did still lack any clear sign of genitalia.  He was a little
about that.  He decided to remedy that as quickly as he could.  There,
on the
street corner was a woman named Desire.  She's worked here before.  He
because he has camped out deep inside the bush near her spot.  He knew
little detail about Desire, including how longingly he and his new
yearned for her.  He didn't want to startle her, so he went around the
for a full-frontal view.  He stood near her, suddenly becoming so
bashful.  He
twiddles with the bottom edge of his lapel, drumming his fingers along
the brim
of his top hat.  This wasn't how it was supposed to go!  He went back
to his
routine, getting Desire from the front and back several times to the
result.  Epic failure.  How could he, Honey-Love Bunny, fail?  It was
unthinkable!  Honey-Love Bunny did what came natural to other love
bunnies: he
ran away, rubbing at his eyes, dreading the day when tears would
waterfall from

A while later and Scott picks him up.  Scott compliments his new
tuxedo and top
hat.  Honey-Love Bunny gives thanks, praising up Scott's own choice of
It's Scott, and Scott is pretty bland.  They meet Carolyn at the
She looks frazzled.  She tells Scott it was a rough day at work.  He
whispers a
sweet nothing in her ear, giving a little nibble.  It must have been
as she says: "Huh?"  Scott is slightly bewildered.  He leads them in,
making a
nervous look to Honey-Love Bunny.  He goes on to shrug, making to
don't sweat it dude.

An hour later and Scott is fried.  Carolyn is making do, but has
become more
frazzled as Scott keeps it up.  Honey-Love Bunny tries to make
with her, but she doesn't speak Bunnyese; Scott's drunken rudeness
doesn't help
the situation any.  Honey-Love Bunny takes it no longer from Scott, as
he tells
his wife Carolyn, of ten odd years no less, to shut her trap.  He
upright, slamming a fist to the table.  He angrily points a finger at
making to say, respect your wife dammit!  Scott doesn't like Honey-
Love Bunny's
attitude, looking to take him down a peg or two.  Honey-Love Bunny
goes easy on
Scott, so as to not totally humiliate him in front of his wife.

A while later Carolyn is in bed with Honey-Love Bunny, glowing with
sweat.  She
takes a puff from a cigarette, passing it to Honey-Love Bunny, who
waves it
off.  She takes another puff, handing it to the emerging figure of
Desire.  She
takes a long drag, rubbing it out in the tray.

"I don't know what you just did, but it was absolutely fantastic!"

"You were fantastic too, sugar," Desire says, quick to love Carolyn
Honey-Love Bunny led the two into a passionate kiss.  He looked on
Time to multiply.

Matthew Brande 2009

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