[LNH/RACCies/TEB] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies – Trade Ethetherback (2/2)

Saxon Brenton saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
Thu Nov 5 19:35:11 PST 2009

[LNH/RACCies/TEB] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies – Trade Ethetherback (2/2)
From: "Jamie Rosen" <jamie.rosen at sunlife.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: Re: [LNH] [RACCIES] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #15
Date: Thu, 3 Feb 2005 16:43:31 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 118
All right, I gave you almost a full day presents:
Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #16
     Bluetooth grimaced. His deal with the Shoe Devil had not gone as he
had hoped -- yes, he had been granted increased strength and speed,
razor-sharp teeth, and a net.ahuman healing factor. But all that power
had been offset with a marked increase in his personal angst -- and he
*still* didn't get credit for his dialogue.
     "I wish I'd never made that deal."
     He moved stealthily through the sub-sub-sub-basement in search of
his quarry. It wasn't something he wanted to do, but he was forced --
compelled against his will to carry out the wishes of the evil being
that had granted him his newfound powers. He knew it would torment him
in his thoughts as he tried to sleep -- a weight that wound haunt him
until the day he die--
     "Oh stop it," said a voice from behind him.
     Bluetooth turned around. There was no one to be seen, nothing out
of the ordinary -- just an empty hallway with the usual oddly-coloured
liquid puddled on the ground.
     "Who said that?"
     "I did," came the voice. One of the puddles on the ground began to
ripple, then extrude upward into a humanoid form that quickly regained
its features. "I -- the Grapety Purple Man!"
     Bluetooth took a step back in fear. "But -- but you're dead!"
     "Bah. Do you think that would stop me? I am the Grapety Purple Man!
And you shall be my new herald, what with them having filed a lawsuit
against the Kool-Aid Man and all."
     "I can't. I've already sold my soles to the Shoe Devil."
     "I know," said the Grapety Purple Man. "And that is why you are the
perfect choice." He moved closer, still dripping Grapety Purple juice.
"Allow me to explain..."
     Eons ago, my young friend, the Looniverse was shapeless and without
form. It was not until the Writers came that the world began to coalesce
-- and through their power, it gained not just a present and a future,
but a past as well. It is the past that we all know and share, but it is
also a past that had not been until the arrival of the Writers.
     Many beings believe that this is the past that has always been, or
in the very least, the only past there has ever been. But I, the Grapety
Purple Man, know all too well that this was not the case. For I have
pulled back the curtain and pierced the veil of ignorance to witness
the world that came before that history. I have seen it, and known fear.
     Yes, I -- the Grapety Purple Man, have known fear! For this pre-history
is a great gaping maw of nothingness, a hunger that knows no bounds and
no satiation. It was in the face of this hunger that I transformed
myself into the being you see before me, hoping to slake this hunger's
thirst with the cool refreshing Power Grapety Purple. But it was not to
be! I could only repress the hunger, casting it into the deep, from
which I hoped it would not return.
     Alas, that day has come, and the past has reawakened.
     "I don't understand."
     "I did not expect you to," the Grapety Purple Man said. "This virus
the LNH has been warned about -- this virus is the doing of the hungry
     "But I thought the anti-virus companies had it under control."
     The Grapety Purple Man shook his head sadly. "And therein lies the
problem. For the virus bears the same signature as the works of the
Writers themselves! When the anti-virus programmes come on-line, they
will detect as virii the very archived stories they are meant to
protect -- and wipe them out, and with them, the Looniverse!"
     Bluetooth recoiled in horror.
     "Only then will this hungry past be satisfied -- for only then will
it have returned to the world it was born into, the world before the
Writers gave us shape and meaning, such as it is."
     Bluetooth still wasn't sure what this had to do with him.
     "Now, Bluetooth, I see that you still aren't sure what this has to
do with you.
     "I learned long ago that even the Power Grapety Purple is not
sufficient to put an end to this hungry past," the Grapety Purple Man
said, "but that may be because I am only one part of the puzzle. For
even with Grapety Purple Juice, we need something more filling.
Something more solid. Something like... fillet of sole!"
WHAT will the Shoe Demon thing of his servant being co-opted?
WHAT was he going to do with those soles, anyway?
WHAT is going on with the two Manga Men?
WHAT will be the outcome of the various court cases involved in this cascade?
WHAT do you people think of this explanation?
Find out... later!
(I figured it might be a good idea to tie everythiing -- well, some
things -- together at this point in the cascade.)
From: arspitzer at aol.com (Arspitzer)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: LNH: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies #17(or 18 (or maybe even 19))
Date: Sat, 5 Feb 2005 23:24:55 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Lines: 285
     December 26, 2004
     Five members of the LNH walked along a road next to a cornfield.  Off
in the distance, there was an abandoned shack.  A windmill next to it 
slightly turned.
     "Cat?  You *&%#@&* feeling all right?  You look kinda @#$%#*&!" said
a concerned Innovative Offense Boy.
     Catalyst Lass turned her head.  "Sorry.  I guess I'm still thinking 
about Cauliflower."
     Innovative Offense Boy gave an understanding nod.  "It's okay.  I 
shouldn't have brought it @#$@$ up."
     "And me and Hood had a fight over some stupid little thing before I
left on this mission.  God.  This has just been one horrible week.  I want
to smile about something.  But I can't.  It's like I've forgotten what 
happiness is."
     "We all have &*#$@*& weeks like that.  Look.  We're going to find out 
what Manga Man's &*#$@#@ plan is.  And then we're going to *&#%@*& stomp 
the living #$#*@& out of it.  *&@#$%$ fight scenes.  They're the @#*&$% 
chicken soup for the @#@*&&@ superhero soul.  I know what I'm talking about."
     Catalyst Lass gave a slight smile.  "Maybe you're right.  Worth a shot, 
I guess."
     "Hey, guys," interrupted Namer Boy.  "Is it just me, or is anyone else 
picking up this really weird feeling."
     "Well this is alt.tv.x-files.creative," explained Pulls-Paper-Out-of-
Hats Lad, "Wouldn't it be more strange if we weren't experiencing weird 
     "Yeah, maybe.  But still.  Are you people sure this shack's the
right place?  I mean if I were going to destabilize the economy of a 
newsgroup, I'd probably do it from a place like Wall Street or 
something.  Not in some stupid shack."
     "Well," said Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr.  "This is the place that Ultimate 
Ninja's source gave us.  I mean it probably is a trap, but it's our best 
lead.  So do we go in?"
     "Wait!" said Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad as he took his top hat off.  
"I have the ability to pull any kind of paper out of any hat.  I'd like to 
try and pull something from that shack.  Maybe I can snag some secret 
documents, or something."
     "Sure.  @#$*&@# go for it." Innovative Offense Boy gave a thumbs up.
     Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad reached into his top hat.  "This is 
strange," he said as he pulled a black piece of paper out of the hat.  
Oh no.."  Suddenly, Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad's body collapsed to the 
ground.  And before his teammates could do anything about it, they 
joined him twitching and convulsing on the dirt road.
                   I Became a Killer Robot Duplicate 
                    All I Got Was This Lousy Story
     Now -- As in right as you're reading this story (well unless you're 
looking at it from the archives.  Okay, better make that Now if you're 
reading just after I posted the story)...
     Catalyst Lass was lying on her bed reading a Hardly Kin Romance novel.  
She heard a knocking on the door.  "Come in!  It's unlocked."  She 
placed the book next to her pillow.  And she put on one of her patented 
super sunshine day smiles.
     "Hi, Cat," Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. said as he made his way inside her 
room.  He shut the door behind him.
     "Oh.  It's you."  The smile on her face soured.  A cold expressionless 
look took over her face.  "What do you want?"
     "It's -- I guess it's a problem with my programming."
     "What do you mean?"
     "I seem to have forgotten my mission.  What we're trying to accomplish 
     "How long has this been going on?"
     "I don't know.  It seemed to happen this morning.  How did I get here?"
     A troubled look made its way to Catalyst Lass's face.  "Hmm.  We might 
need to get you fixed.  Can you tell me anything you do remember?"
     "I know I was created by Manga Man, but that's about it.  And that I 
took Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr.'s place."
     "Right.  Well here's what you need to know, feel free and ask any 
questions.  Several weeks ago, the LNH sent three teams with five heroes 
apiece to three different fanfiction newsgroups.  They were checking out 
false rumors given to them by certain of our affiliates.  Each team fell 
to a trap that was laid for them.  They were separated and each one was 
stripped of their powers.  Their powers were then transferred to evil 
robot duplicates."
     "Where are they now?"
     "That information is not for you to know.  All that I can say is each 
one of the heroes has been placed in a different newsgroup.  Each one is 
heavily guarded in a very secret location."
     "So they're still alive?"
     "Yes.  For now."
     "So we took these heroes places, but for what purpose?"
     "At this point we're at stage two of the plan.  Our master, Manga Man, 
has triggered events that might destroy the RACCies, Saxon Brenton, and 
perhaps reality itself.  And he is also the only person who can save 
these three things."
     "Why does Manga Man want to destroy the RACCies, Saxon Brenton, and 
     "He doesn't.  He triggered these events so he could save them from
these events.  When this chaotic add-on cascade reaches the point where 
it looks completely hopeless, Manga Man will step in and save the day.  
This new reformed superheroic Manga Man will ask to join the LNH and 
with a little help from me, he will easily get in.  The Ultimate Ninja 
might put up a little fight, but ultimately he will be putty in my 
hands.  A few months later there will be an election for a new LNH 
Leader.  And with the help from my powers as well as the evil robot 
duplicates like yourself, he will be a shoe-in.  Once he becomes leader 
of the LNH a purging will occur of all those heroes who aren't 
submissive to his rule.  He will then expand the membership to those 
superbeings that won't question his decisions.  Eventually, Manga Man 
will use the LNH as a force to prevent potential threats that harm the 
security of the Looniverse.  He will use the LNH to take down what he 
perceives as rogue newsgroups.  Eventually, one by one, these newsgroups 
will begin to fall down.  And one day, people will wake up to find that 
Manga Man's new Otaku Empire runs from the shores of alt.-1d all the way 
to the mountains of talk.rumors."
     "God," Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. said to himself.  "And who are my fellow 
evil robot duplicates?"
     "That information doesn't concern you.  If you need to talk to someone 
talk to me.  Your purpose right now is to act exactly like Ubiquitous 
Boy Lad Jr. and to do whatever you can to help Manga Man defeat the 
RACCies virus.  That is all.  You will be informed when stage three of 
the plan begins.  Oh another thing -- there are three robot duplicates 
of Manga Man running around the LNHQ."
     "Three?  Umm why?"
     "Because Manga Man is a genius," the evil robot duplicate of Catalyst 
Lass said it in a way that made it seem that that completely explained 
the question.  "Each one has a purpose to fulfill."
     "So how do you know that the Manga Man that you're taking orders from
is the real one?"
     Suddenly, Catalyst Lass had an uneasy expression on her face.  "What
do mean real?  Of course he's real!  He has to be real!  He's my master!  
He created me!"
     "Right!  Sorry, about that.  Just some programming glitch, or
something else."
     "Very well.  All the things that you have heard in this room, you are 
not to speak of, or even think about them.  You are..."  Catalyst Lass 
stopped speaking as she heard a tiny ruffling noise.  She looked over 
and saw that it was coming from a small bird.  A kiwi.
     She looked at the kiwi with a very gentle expression.  "C'mere, sweetie.  
Was that you making all that noise?  Come on.  Over here.  I promise I 
won't bite.  Honest."
     The kiwi had a very frightened look on its face.  It knew it should
just run.  Get out of this room, but the voice of Catalyst Lass was too 
powerful to be ignored.  Kiwi #1238 made its way towards Catalyst Lass 
and hopped right on to her hand.  The Catalyst Lass robot lightly petted 
the bird's feathers with her finger while the other hand gripped it 
tightly.  "Now tell your Aunt Catty what you heard.  Everything."
     And Kiwi #1238 said, "Kiwi! Kiwi! Kiwi! Kiwi!"
     "I see," Catalyst Lass responded.  Then a sickening sound followed.  
Like a chicken bone being snapped.
     "Oh, God.  You didn't have to do that!"
     The Catalyst Lass gave Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. a very strange look as
she put the lifeless body of the kiwi into a pillow case.  "Of course I
did.  What's wrong with you?  This creature would have jeopardized our 
Master's entire plan."  She gave Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. the pillow case 
with the dead kiwi.  "Now, I want you to dispose of this body.  Can you 
do that?"
     Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. reluctantly took the pillow and nodded his head.
     "Good.  Now please exit my room.  We will deal with your programming 
glitches later."
==--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--==
     As Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. walked down the hallway carrying the 
pillowcase which contained a kiwi's corpse, he thought back on how he 
had arrived to this point.  He did remember being captured.  He 
remembered having his powers transferred to an evil robot duplicate.  
The thing was though, the way his powers worked he became the evil robot 
duplicate.  And the evil robot duplicate became him.  He was here right 
now in the LNHQ and he was also blindfolded and strapped to some table 
in some dungeon on some newsgroup out there somewhere.  It had taken him 
over a month to try and take control of his body, and even now he could 
feel the evil robot duplicate deep inside him trying to take control.
     What was he going to do?  He had to tell someone about this.  Innovative 
Offense Boy, Catalyst Lass, Namer Boy, and Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad 
were obviously out of the picture.  He wondered who the other ten were.  
The Ultimate Ninja would be safe.  He hadn't gone on any of the 
missions.  Maybe there was a mission log somewhere.  Still, what would 
happen if he did tell someone?  He didn't know who all the robot 
duplicates were.  And what if he told Ultimate Ninja and they defeated 
them?  They would still have to deal with this RACCie virus.  And what 
if the evil Robot Catalyst Lass was right?  Maybe Manga Man was the only 
person who could defeat it.  Maybe it would be best if he waited till 
the chaotic add-on cascade was over before he exposed Manga Man's plan.
     That made the most sense.  Yes, he'd have to wait.  Defeating the RACCie 
virus was the most important thing right now.  He just hoped he was 
making the right decision.  And he hoped he could survive this chaotic 
add-on cascade.
==--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--==
     The Evil Robot Catalyst Lass took out her comm.thingee.  "Hi?  Doctor 
Stomper?  Is that you?"
     <~Yes, Cat?  What can I do for you?~>
     "I think there might be something wrong with the Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr.  
I think it might be necessary to take care of him.  Do you understand?"
==--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--==
     "Yes.  I understand."
     Dr. Stomper clicked his comm.thingee off.  He grabbed a weird looking 
gun out of one of his drawers.  A sinister grin took over his face.
==--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--==
WHAT happened to the Grapety Purple Man?
IS Shoe Devil a poor man's Wondersock?
WHO are the remaining nine evil robot duplicates?
WILL the next issue actually be funny?
DOES this make everything more or less confusing?
WILL Manga Man's evil plan work?
HOW long will it be till Saxon bites the dust?
WILL any of these questions actually be answered?
All this and more in....
Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies!
Innovative Offense Boy is uplink's
Catalyst Lass is Elisabeth Anne Riba's
This cascade is Andrew Perron's
This was inspired by Saxon's question about what happened to the LNH 
teams that the Ultimate Ninja sent to check out the fanfiction 
newsgroups.  I of course prefer evil scheming Manga Man myself.
Arthur "Rest in Peace Kiwi #1238" Spitzer
From: Andrew Perron <pwerdna at outgun.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH] [RACCIES] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #18
Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2005 08:50:27 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: Mad Scientist Otaku Cabal
Lines: 175
     Zoom in on a smoky window.  Through it, we can see several patrons
bellying up to the bar.  The perspective passes through the door and
focuses in on one of them - Kid Recap.
     "Yo," slurred Kid Recap, "another double over here."
     "Aye, laddie, I think ye've had enough," said RX-203-I, Destroyer of
Worlds, Bartender of Darkness. "What's on ye mind, that ye drown
yerself in the drink?"
     "Oh, god... it's this cascade.  RACCies... Saxon Brenton... thingy."
Kid Recap hiccuped, his expression growing ever more morose. "Ish like
this, see?  Fursht, Manga Man found this virush that was gonna erash
alla th' stories for whoever won the RACCies.  Then, then he got into
a fight with Boy... Strawboy... with Steve.  Fashtingesht Man Livin'.
Atta shame time, Pointless Awardsch Man Two came back frumma dead, and
shome anonymush readers were talkin' about it.  The Schoe Devil n'a
Purple Grapey Man was in there, too.  Sho Manga Man fell over, and
woke up with the LNH.  N' he told them about the virus.  N'then Pointy
Award Man *Three* shows up, but he's really Sax'phone Brenton, and the
devil-guy sets the soap-kid on fire... but it dun matter, 'cos Saxy
poked Point... Man... Second, and he fell over.  And Grape Ape showed
up.  But Ninja stabbed him.  And there wash Kool-Aid for all."
     Kid Recap fell off his stool at this point.  As he wobbled back up,
RX-203-I put a manipulator unit on his shoulder. "Mebbe ye dun need to--"
     "No!" Kid Recap shook off the helping hand. "Gotta... gotta finish.
'S my power." He eased himself back onto the seat. "Sho... sho, Manga
Man was gloating.  And he was thinking about how he was doin' evil
stuff, but not virus stuff.  And then Ultimate Ninjadude, wanted to
soo Mr. Drinkypants, so he got a lawyer.  And the virus was cured.
Except it really wasn't.  And the lawyer was evil, so Pointy hired
him.  But we dun care.  Anna Shoo Devil was all like, "Ha ha, you
suck", and brushed summudy's teeth.  And so there was a good Manga Man
and evil Manga Man.  And the devil guys took over the LNH computers.
And it turns out the virus was made by, like, the primorjal
Looviners'.  And the Purple Grape was a good guy.  Sorta.  And
*then...*" Kid Recap broke out sobbing.  RX-203-I patted him on the
back until it faded away.
     Kid Recap face peered out from the wooden countertop. "An' then...
th' LNH teams w'r r'placed by robot dup... by robots, Manga Man robots,
an' the RACCies virus an' Saxon Brenton-thing were part of th'
conspiracy, except maybe not 'cos Manga Man mighta been a roobot, and
the guy with the long name isn't a robot... I don't know!" He bawled,
and fell off his stool again.
     "There, there, laddie... yer puny human brain needsta rest.  I'll
call a cabbie fer ya..." The camera falls back, as RX-203-I calls Chaotic
Add-On Cascade Recappers Anonymous.  We join our story, already in
     Ultimate Ninja looked in the mirror and harrumphed.  He straightened
his tie. "Remind me why *I* need to be there?"
     Fearless Leader shrugged. "Because your very presence, intimidating
as it is, will not only give the LNH some moral presence in the Kool-Aid
Man case, but serve to make sure Lethal Lawyer doesn't start causing
     Ultimate Ninja considered. "True.  However..." His tuxedo exploded,
revealing his nightblack ninja outfit. "I think *this* will be more
     "Awww, that was a rental..." sighed Hamster Man.
     The infinite void.  Within, two beings of darkness stand apart.
     "So," speaks the avatar of the Grapety Purple Man, royal, chaotic and
delicious, "it's a deal?"
     "Indeed," speaks the avatar of the Shoe Devil, dark crimson wrapped
in shadow with really big feet. "We shall use our control of the mental
plane of Net.ropolis to influence the weak-minded into sacrificing
their soles."
     "I shall use my mastery over the Power Grapety Purple to manipulate
them, creating a locus of power with which, hopefully, we can bind the
voracious past forever."
     "Excellent." The Shoe Devil's smile was like a cleft in the endless
space. "Of course, it's simply coincidence that the ritual of
sacrifice will bring me great control over the mortal world..."
     The Grapety Purple Man sighed the breath of an unborn star. "Indeed.
But, I suppose when you walk with the devil, the road can only lead
you one place."
     Manga Man stalked about outside a cage - a cage which held Manga Man.
     "So," said Manga Man, "who *are* you?  An escapee from Terminal Dogma?
An android duplicate created by my father to fight for justice?  Or
perhaps simply an imposter, here to take over my glorious name?"
     "Glorious name!?" spat Manga Man. "Infamous name is more like it - I
should know, since it's *mine*."
     "Bah!" Manga Man posed threateningly. "Fool!  I'll have the truth from
you--" The doorbell rang.
     Manga Man stalked over and answered it. "Yes?"
     "The costumes you wanted, sir," said a random faceless grunt in
curiously generic military gear.
     "Excellent," said Manga Man.  He threw one of the bundles to Manga Man
and unwrapped the other.
     "What's this?" asked Manga Man, pulling out a long white cape.
     "It's too confusing for the narrator to be calling us both Manga Man,"
said Manga Man as he locked a shiny black breastplate around his body
and stuffed his legs into jet-black boots. "This way, I'll be Manga
Man Black, and you can be Manga Man White."
     "Makes sense," said Manga Man White. "Now, where were we?"
     "Hmmm..." Manga Man Black checked the script. "Ah, yes, here we go...
Fool!  I'll have the truth from you if I must write it in your blood!"
     Doubtless, Manga Man White thought, this is some scheme by my buisness
rivals to besmirch my already-tainted image... Or, perhaps, revenge
for alerting the LNH to the virus?  But where did he get his powers?
     At this point, it didn't matter.  He had to escape, and fix what this
malefactor had done to his newsgroup.  So...
     "Wait!" said MM White. "Of course, it all makes sense now!"
     "Eh?" said MM Black, giving his counterpart a suspicious glare.
     "Of course!  The men at the institute said that those memories of the
cloning tank were just dreams!"
     "Oh really..." MM Black leaned in closer.
     MM White sobbed. "Oh, I can't belive it!  I'm just a thing, a soulless
     Manga Man White curled up in the corner of the cage, sniffling.  Manga
Man Black reached out to pat him on the shoulder. "There, the--"
     *large explosion!*
     MM White sailed out of the newly-forged hole in the wall.  That A2
(Absolute Angst) bomb ought to disorient his erstwhile duplicate long
enough for him to escape through the net.aether.  He could jump to
rec.arts.comics.creative and contact the LNH.  Certainly they wouldn't
begrudge a few members to take down one of their oldest enemies...
     Far below, as a flash of energy took a four-dimensional curve out of
the newsgroup, a dimly glowing figure raised a comm.thingee. "Captain
Napalm here," he said. "Target has left, heading for your location."
     Across net.space, someone answered. "Acknowledged." He lowered the
comm.thingee and opened his package.  Ah.  Perfect.
     On the roof of the LNHHQ, Manga Man Gold stood waiting.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, any plot danglers I haven't
touched yet?
From: phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH] [RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #19
Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2005 06:36:43 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 139
            Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #19
     Manga Man arrived at LNH HQ.  Given that Manga Man had recently aided
the LNH in, presumably, eliminating the RACCies virus, the security
system did not provent him from entering.
     "Hey, you!" he said, addressing Fred, the receptionist.
     "I'm looking for Ultimate Ninja!"
     "I'm afraid he's not here.  He's currently in court for the LNH vs.
Kool Aid Man case."
     "Fearless Leader?"
     "Not here."
     "Irony Man?"
     "No.  Sorry."
     "Well, then, who is in charge here?"
     "Deja Dude."
     "Deja Dude?"
     "Deja Dude."
     "I'll come back later."
     "Yo!" Deja Dude said.  "What's up?  Are you looking for me?"
     Manga Man sighed.  "Yes.  I need the LNH's help."
     "So, how are you feeling?" Doctor Stomper asked Pointless Awards Man II.
     "Much better now, thanks," he said.
     "Did you take all the medicine I gave you?"
     "Yes.  Thanks."
     "There's one more thing I need to give you.  A shot."
     Pointless Awards Man II shuddered.  "Is this really necessary?  I feel
much better now."
     "What's wrong?  You don't like needles?"
     "Not particularly.  No."
     Doctor Stomper laughed.  "Don't worry.  You won't feel a thing."
     "Alright.  If you say so."
     Doctor Stomper gave Pointless Awards Man II the injection.  "There.
How do you feel now."
     "Actually, I feel kinda woosy."
     "Oh, that would be the side effect of the drug I gave you," Doctor
Stomper explained.
     "Side effect?  You didn't mention any side effect!"
     "Didn't I?" Doctor Stomper asked innocently.
     "What kind of side effect?"
     "The drug places you under my total control so you'll do whatever I
     "Oh," Pointless Awards Man II said.  "That doesn't sound so bad."
     "Now," Doctor Stomper said slowly, "you will take your sword from my
assistant, Sister State-the-Obvious here and you will go find Deja Dude
and kill him."
     "Alright."  He took the sword.  "Deja Dude is going to die!"
     "The drug appears to be working, Doctor," the robotic duplicate Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
     "Indeed!" the robotic duplicate Doctor Stomper said.
     "Okay," Deja Dude said, "I'm confused."
     "It's quite simple," Manga Man said, "this other Manga Man is obviously
an imposter."
     "But you said something about having memories of being a clone?"
     "That was to destract my duplicate so I could escape!"
     "Nevertheless," Deja Dude said, "you have to acknowledge the
possibility that he might be the original and you could be the clone."
     "Nonsense!" Manga Man insisted.  "I remember everything!  Besides, why
would the true Manga Man destroy a rec.arts.manga group?"
     "Hmm.  Good point," Deja Dude conceded.  "But if he's not the original
Manga Man then how do you know you aren't also a clone?  The original
Manga Man might have created you both as part of some grand scheme that
we can't even imagine."  Deja Dude thought for a moment.  "There's one
LNHer who might be able to make sense of all this.  Doctor Stomper!
Follow me!"
     Deja Dude started walking up the spiral staircase that takes people
from the first floor lobby to the offices on the second floor.  Manga
Man followed close behind him.  They managed to get halfway up when
Deja Dude saw Pointless Awards Man II coming down the stairs.
     "Ah," Deja Dude said.  "Pointless Awards Man II.  What are you doing
here?  Are you feeling better?"
     Pointless Awards Man II pulled out his samurai sword.  "DIE!  DIE!
DIE!" he said.
     "Oh, crap," Deja Dude muttered under his breath.
WHO else besides Innovative Offense Boy, Catalyst Lass, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr., Doctor Stomper
and, now, Sister State-the-Obvious is a robot duplicate?
WHERE are the real Innovative Offense Boy, Catalyst Lass, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr., Doctor Stomper and
Sister State-the-Obvious?
WHAT will be the outcome of the LNH vs. Kool Aid Man case?
WHICH Manga Man is the real one?
WHY did I ignore the Shoe Devil and Grapety Purple Man plotline?
From: "Jamie Rosen" <jamie.rosen at sunlife.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #20
Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2005 18:26:26 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 158
Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #20
     "This is all getting very confusing," opined anonymous RACC reader #1.
     "I agree," said anonymous RACC reader #3, "but that's the nature of
the beast. I mean, look at what happened when we tried to use a cascade to
resolve the presidency of the Loonited States?"
     "What happened?" asked anonymous RACC reader #2.
* * *
     Deja Dude deftly dodged Pointless Awards Man II's sword thrust and
knocked the weapon from his hand.
     Suddenly unarmed, PAM II leaped at Deja Dude, attempting to bludgeon
him with his bare hands. But even if he had four arms to Deja Dude's
two, he was still just a hapless awards presenter, and no match for an
experienced Net.Hero.
     "What's going on?" Deja Dude demanded, holding the ersatz villain to
the ground.
     "I'm trying to kill you!" spat PAM II.
     "But why?"
     "Doctor Stomper told me to!" PAM II admitted, assuming that since he
wasn't told not to reveal the evil plan he was allowed to.
     "Hrm." Deja Dude looked over his shoulder at Manga Man. "Maybe we
shouldn't go see him after all."
     But Manga Man was lost in thought...
     .oO( Why would Doctor Stomper have wanted Deja Dude dead? It all seems
vaguely familiar... ) His thoughts were audible in a slightly echo-y
voiceover as his cloak flapped lightly in a non-existant breeze. ( I
know! It's just like that plan I came up with and then discarded, the
one to have the Net.Heroes replaced with robot duplicates! But, if I
decided not to... perhaps that clone Manga Man is responsible! )
     "That seems reasonable," Deja Dude said.
     "Wha-wha?" Manga Man said, doing a double take. "How did you know what
I was thinking?"
     "You were thinking in a voice-over."
     An exclamation mark appeared over Manga Man's head.
     "So it seems we can't even trust the other LNHers," Deja Dude mused.
"But I think I know who we can trust..."
* * *
     Firewire and Bluetooth were playing cards in the rec.room of the
     "Do you have any sixes?" asked Firewire.
     "Go Fish."
     The flaming fellow went fish.
     "This really bites. Having to betray the LNH and all."
     Firewire nodded. "But with everything that's going on, I don't think
it'll really even matter," he responded. "I mean, the very existence of
the Looniverse is at stake. And we're doing them a favour, in the long
run, right? Helping save the Looniverse."
     "I guess you're right. Do you have any sevens?"
     Firewire gave Bluetooth his seven of pentacles.
     Suddenly, the door to the rec.room of the damned burst open, and Deja
Dude and Manga Man entered.
     "You!" Firewire exclaimed, leaping from his seat. "We didn't do
     "I know," Deja Dude said. "That's why we're here."
     Deja Dude and Manga Man proceeded to explain the situation as they
understood it -- the robot duplicate LNHers, the Manga Man clone(s),
and the confusion about just what, exactly, was going on here.
     "And that's why we need your help," Deja Dude concluded. "Because you
were transformed after Manga Man hatched his diabolical plan --"
     "-- we can be certain that you haven't been replaced by robot
duplicates. The same couldn't be said about any number of other LNHers."
     "I see..." Firewire said. Here was his chance to redeem himself for
the betrayal of the LNH. "I'll do it." He looked at Bluetooth.
     "Me too."
     "Great," Deja Dude said. "I knew we could count on you."
     "So what do we do?" asked Firewire.
     "We launch an assault on Manga Man. He's the one behind all of this."
     Firewire and Bluetooth turned to Manga Man.
     "No, no, no! The *other* Manga Man!" he said.
* * *
     Manga Man Gold was still laughing evilly. "My plan is unfolding
perfectly," he gloated. "Confusion everywhere -- even in the Looniverse
     "This is no good," anonymous RACC reader #5 opined.
     "That's true," agreed anonymous RACC reader #4. "Is it time to reveal
     "It is."
     "Very well. Anonymous RACC readers, transform!"
     "Manga Man Blue!"
     "Manga Man Red!"
     "Manga Man Yellow!"
     "Manga Man Green!"
     "Come on, now."
     "Manga Man Pink."
     "Go go Power Manga!"
WHY does that one Manga Man want Deja Dude dead?
WHAT can the sole-less LNHers to to defeat the aforementioned version
of Manga Man?
WHO is the real Manga Man?
WHEN will the threat of the Shoe Devil be taken seriously?
HOW will the RACCies virus finally be defeated?
WHERE have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to
you -- woo woo woo...
From: phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH][RACCies] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #21
Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2005 16:42:16 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 192
[LNH][RACCies] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #21
     Deja Dude and Manga Man White had just explained to Firewire and
Bluetooth that various LNHers had been replaced by robot duplicates.
     "So what do we do?" asked Firewire.
     "We launch an assault on Manga Man. He's the one behind all of this,"
Deja Dude said.
     "We're not going to let you do that," Catalyst Lass said.
     Deja Dude, Manga Man White, Firewire and Bluetooth turned to see Sister
State-the-Obvious, aLLiterative Lass, Bandwagon Chick, Catalyst Lass,
Ordinary Lady, Lurking Girl, Sing-Along Lass and New Look Lass all
looking down on them in a threatening manner.
     "We Wouldn't Want you to do What you Would Want to do to the One Who's
Will We obey!" aLLiterative Lass said.
     "Yeah!" Bandwagon Chick said.  "What she said!"
     "So you're going to have to get past us first!" Ordinary Lady said.
     "And don't think we're going to go easy on you!" Lurking Girl said.
     "We are loyal to our master, Manga Man!" New Look Lass said.
     "He'll have the whole world in his hands!  He'll have the whole world
in his hands!" Sing-a-Long Lass sang.
     "We're all robot duplicates!" Sister State-the-Obvious said.
     "But wait!" Deja Dude said.  "This is Manga Man right here!"
     "That's right!" Manga Man White said.  "I am Manga Man and I order you
to tell us where the real LNHers are!"
     "Nice try, Manga Man imposter," Catalyst Lass said, "but we just
overheard you plotting against the real Manga Man!"
     "But _I_ am the real Manga Man!" Manga Man White said.  "It is your
master who is the imposter!"
     Catalyst Lass held her hands over her ears and started singing.  "Na na
na!  I can't here you!"
     "Your deception won't work!" Sister State-the-Obvious said.
     "Hey, guys, why are all the robot duplicates female?"
     "Bluetooth is right!" Firewire said.  "What's up with that."
     Deja Dude grimaced.  "That would be my fault," he reasoned.  "My
presence in this storyline has retroactively caused this plotline to
become a parody of the Stepford Wives, even if that was not the
original intention."
     "Enough talk!" Manga Man White said.  "These robots may look like your
teammates but they are mere machines!  We should destroy them and move on!"
     "No!" Deja Dude said.  "Wait!  If these robot duplicates still have
the memories of our teammates then perhaps they can be reasoned with!
Perhaps they can be made to turn against their master!"
     "To heck with that!" Firewire said, powering up.  "Manga Man is right!
They need to be destroyed."  Firewire transformed into living flame.
     "Uh oh," Sister State-the-Obvious said.  "This can't be good!"
     Bluetooth, Deja Dude and Manga Man White all stood back while Firewire
used his flame against the robot duplicate LNHers.  They all started
melting.  Sparks started flying as they all tried to continue moving
forward to kill our heroes.
     "Nuts!" Ordinary Lady said.
     "But... we'll Be Back!" aLLiterative Lass said, just before her head
     "I doubt that," Manga Man White quipped.
     The eight robot duplicates were all destroyed.
     "I'm spent," Firewire admitted.  "I won't be able to create flame like
that for a few hours."
     "Is that all of them?"
     "Somehow, Bluetooth, I doubt it," Deja Dude said, "which means we're
back to square one!  We still don't know who to trust!"
* * *
     Elsewhere, the robot duplicates of Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr., Doctor Stomper,
Cheesecake Eater Lad and Master Blaster were plotting against our heroes.
     "The women have failed!" Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. said.
     "@#$%ing incompetant airhead @#$%^es!" Innovative Offense Boy swore.
     "Do you think Deja Dude and Manga Man suspect us?" Cheesecake Eater Lad
     "I would imagine so," Doctor Stomper said.
     "What do we do now?" Namer Boy asked.
     "We need to go find Manga Man," Doctor Stomper suggested.  "The real
     "That's all very well and good, but there are about seven or eight
different Manga Men running around," Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. pointed
out.  "Which one is our true master?"
     "Catalyst Lass knew which one was the real Manga Man," Doctor Stomper
     "Did she happen to mention to you which one?" Master Blaster asked.
     "Actually," Doctor Stomper admitted, "no."
     "What do we do now?" Namer Boy asked.
     "Will you quit asking that!" Innovative Offense Boy shouted.
     "I've got an idea," Doctor Stomper said.  "Anybody got a hat?"
     "Here!" Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. said.
     "What's your idea?" Cheesecake Eater Lad asked.
     "It's quite simple," Doctor Stomper said.  "We don't know who the real
Manga Man is so I'm going to write the words 'White', 'Black', 'Gold',
'Red', 'Yellow,' 'Green', 'Yellow' and 'Pink' on separate pieces of
paper, place them in the hat and then have Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad
pull out the name of the real Manga Man and tell us who he is!"  He
took out a piece of paper and a pen and started writing out the names
as he decribed.
     "That's a stupid idea!" Master Blaster complained.
     "No!  It'll work!" Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad insisted.  "That's my
power!  Or rather that is the power of the real Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats
Lad and I was given his power after he was captured by our master and I
was created to replace him.  Remember?"
     "We all were given the powers of those who we replaced," Doctor Stomper
said, "so that we would not be detected pre-maturely!"  He tore up the
paper into eight equal sized pieces, placed it in the hat, shuffled
them around as best as he could and handed them to
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad.
     "This is so suspenseful!" Cheesecake Eater Lad said.  "Who is the real
Manga Man?  Who?"
     Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad pulled a piece of paper out of the hat.
     "Who the @#$% is it?" Innovative Offense Boy asked.
     Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad handed the piece of paper to Namer Boy.
     "Well?" Master Blaster asked.
     "It says... Gold," Namer Boy said.  "The real Manga Man is Manga Man
     "Indeed," Manga Man Gold said, suddenly appearing amongst them on cue,
"and with your help I will destroy those who stand in the way of my
taking over not only the LNH but the entire world!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
WHAT is Manga Man Gold's plan?
HOW is he going to destroy Deja Dude, Manga Man White and the others?
WHY did I completely ignore Grapety Purple Man and the Shoe Devil for
the second straight post?
WHERE did they go, anyway?
WHEN are Ultimate Ninja, Fearless Leader, Irony Man and the others
coming back?
These questions may or may not be resolved in the next chapter of Just
Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies!
From: saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au (Saxon Brenton)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [RACCies/LNH] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies #22
Date: Sun, 6 Mar 2005 00:09:06 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 59
Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies #22
[Note: Even more outside of continuity than normal. No following up 
with any of these characters or events unless they're already part of
the plot.]
     "AAAaaa!!!" a very large number of people preparing for the
RACCie Awards ceremony cried.
     "Where's my lip gloss!?" 
     "Look! My dress costume hasn't been properly fry cleaned!"
     "What are you complaining about, Cauliflower? You don't wear a
tuxedo. You're a dog!"
      "Woof!" came the retort.
     "It's no good!" they heard Dismal-Hope Kid wail as he passed by
in the corridor outside. "We'll never be ready in time!"
     "AAAaaa!!!" panicked the LNHers, goaded to greater heights of
hysteria by his comments.
     The door to the LNH imprint dressing rooms opens, and a frazzled 
looking Myrmidon sticks his head in. "Is this the Crucible City 
dressing rooms?"
     "No. This is the LNH. Crucible City is down the hall that way."
     "Right. Thanks." Myrmidon leaves.
     "Is there an upper limit to how many people can be at your 
table if they're all Evil Twins of you?"
     Should I sit at the same table as my arch-nemesis so that I can 
keep an eye on him, or is that likely to provoke a fight scene?
     "Argh! Look at this!" demanded the Chuggernaut. "This thing 
still has ash on it from when I trashed the RACCCafe!"
     "NO CONTINUITY!!!" everybody else screamed at him.
     "Oh. Right. Sorry."
     The door opens, and a frazzled looking Shadestalker sticks his 
head in. "Is this the Artifice Comics dressing room?"
     "No. This is the LNH. Artifice Comics is up the hall that way."
     "Right. Thanks." Shadestalker leaves.
     "What do you mean 'There haven't been any journalists in the
stories this year'?" demands Pointless Awards Man II, who at this
point in preparations is taking advantage of the opportunity to get
out of that damn too-small-for-him tuxedo to wear a well-worn pair of
blue jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt. "There were several journalists!
There was that Adam Spencer from Transit City, and Ian Thorpe from The
Spyder... 'They're all print journalists?' Crud. Okay, uh, look, how
about the EuroNewsNet anchorwoman from ASH? Karol, right, try and line
her up, or I'll have to sing again. No, I *don't* know where Pointless
Awards Man I is; the lazy Writers haven't gotten around to resolving
that plot point yet."
     The door opens and a frazzled looking Skysabre sticks his head 
in. "Is this the Superguy dressing rooms?"
     "No, this is the LNH."
     Skyabre gives this a second's thought, then says, "Close 
enough," comes in and starts ironing some clothes.
End Interlude
Saxon Brenton     Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au
From: phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH][RACCies] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #23
Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2005 10:33:50 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 151
     Master Blaster spoke to Deja Dude after the awards ceremony.
     "Hey!" he said.  "Congratulations at having won the rabbit breeders
cup two years in a row!  What are you going to do to celebrate?"
     Deja Dude shrugged his shoulders.  "Oh, I don't know.  Maybe post
something."  Deja Dude looked at Master Blaster suspiciously.  "Aren't
you worried about your wife?"
     "How so?" asked quizzically.
     "I mean she was replaced by a robot duplicate whom we then had to
destroy.  Aren't you wondering what happened to the real Sister
     Master Blaster suddenly became somber.  "Oh, yeah.  I'm very
     "You didn't look concerned a moment ago."
     "Oh... well... it's part of my character, isn't it?  The macho
exterior.  But, inside, I'm torn apart."
     "Anybody would think you were callously happy with your new found
     "Oh no!  Not me!  I loved my wife!  I really miss her!  Unless...
unless you think it would be more in character for me not to."
     "You're not Master Blaster, are you?"
     "Master Blaster" pointed his BIG gun at Deja Dude.
     "I'll take this as confirmation of my suspicions."
     "We wanted to destroy you and that imposter Manga Man weeks ago!" the
robot duplicate Master Blaster admitted, "but then Ultimate Ninja and
the others came back from that court case.  Manga Man got cold feet and
called off the attack, ordering us to cut our losses and go back
pretending we were the real Master Blaster,
Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy, Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad,
Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. and Cheesecake Eater Lad."
     "You realize you just gave away your master's entire evil plan, don't
     "It's no matter!" the robot duplicate Master Blaster said.  "You're
going to die anyway."
     "But you have all the memories of Master Blaster!"
     "So we're friends!  You don't want to kill me!"
     "Desire is irrelevant!  I... am a machine!"
     Just then, the head of the evil robot duplicate Master Blaster was
cut off by a Ginsu katana blade.  The head fell to the floor and rolled
away.  As it did, the head got a good look at the net.hero who had
struck it from behind.
     "Et tu, Ninja?" it said.
     "Thanks, UN," Deja Dude said.
     "No problem."  Ultimate Ninja grimaced under his mask.  "I guess this
confirms Adamant Authority-on-Everything's theory."
     "Indeed!" Adamant Authority-on-Everything said.  "You will recall
how on the day after Christmas, three teams were sent out to different
fanfic newsgroups: Catalyst Lass, Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. were sent to
alt.tv.x-files.creative, Doctor Stomper, Ordinary Lady, Lurking Girl,
Sing-Along Lass and Bandwagon Chick were sent to alt.startrek.creative
and Master Blaster, Cheesecake Eater Lad,  Sister State-the-Obvious,
aLLiterative Lass and New Look Lass were sent to rec.arts.erotica."
     "Oh oh oh!" Kid Enthusiastic said.  "Can we segue to a flashback?!"
     "No," Adamant Authority-on-Everything said flatly.  "Anyway, we
assumed when they returned that nothing had happened, but it would appear
now that they were all replaced with evil robot duplicates!"
     Ultimate Ninja nodded.  "But now we know who the robot duplicates are!
Of course, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr.'s powers being what they are, they
also probably know that we know, but since we are smart enough to know
that they know that we know, we still have the advantage!"
     Deja Dude nodded.  "This is how you got the reputation for being such
a great strategist, hmm?"
     "Exactly."  Deja Dude mused for a while.  "Anyway, it's been three
weeks and nobody resolved any of the plotlines from #21.  What happened
with the court case?"
     "The court case?  Oh, we won.  We got 50 million dollars in damages!
Irony Man was estatic!  Do you know he was thinking of putting the LNH
up to be sold to the highest bidding software company?!  Could you
imagine the LNH being sold to a software company?"
     "Actually, yes," Deja Dude said.  "Anyway, we had better go find
Bluetooth and Firewire, seeing as how they were integral to the
     "I'm already here!"
     "Me too!" Firewire said.
     "Alright," Deja Dude said.  "Well then I guess it's up to the six of
us to find the seven of them (the remaining six robot duplicates
-including that of Doctor Stomper- and the real Manga Man) and have the
final Climactic Fight Scene(tm)."
     "Is that all that's left?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
     Deja Dude reflected for a moment.  "Well, let's see... the RACCies
are over and all the LNH stories are still on google and eyrie.org, so I
guess the virus didn't go into effect.  I mean, I ended up getting
viruses on my computer but I figure that was due to my downloading too
much free porn and not due to anything in this storyline.  And the Grapety
Purple Man and Shoe Devil storylines never went anywhere, right guys?"
     "Um... nope."
     "Not as far as I know," Firewire said, nervously.
     "Alright then!" Ultimate Ninja said.  "Let's go find these robot
duplicates so we can get this story wrapped up!"
WILL Bluetooth and Firewire ever betray their teammates?
WILL this storyline end in a big Climactic Fight Scene(tm)?
WHATEVER happened to the real Sister State-the-Obvious, aLLiterative
Lass, Bandwagon Chick, Catalyst Lass, Ordinary Lady, Lurking Girl,
Sing-Along Lass, New Look Lass, Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr., Doctor Stomper,
Cheesecake Eater Lad and Master Blaster?  Or to Grapety Purple Man and
the Shoe Devil for that matter?
DID anything else happen in the three weeks that passed between
WILL anybody bother to write the next chapter of Just
Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies?!
[24 - Epilogue]
From: phippsmar... at hotmail.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH] [RACCIES] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCIES: Epilogue
Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2005 00:53:06 +0000 (UTC)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 92
[No, you didn't miss an issue: I just wanted to skip to the end. :)]
     "Wow!" Deja Dude said.  "We did it!  We defeated Manga Man Gold and
his evil robot duplicates!"
     "No thanks to Bluetooth and Firewire!" Ultimate Ninja complained.  
"How could they betray us like that?  Didn't they realize that the Grapety
Purple Man and the Shoe Devil were working with Manga Man Gold all
along?  The first rule in dealing with net.villains is to treat
everything they say as a lie!  Rookies!"
     "Yeah, well, these traitor plots are an inherent part of superhero
drama now.  We have to get used to that."
     "At least Manga Man White came through for us!" Ultimate Ninja
observed.  "Too bad about what happened to him in the end though."
     "Yeah," Deja Dude nodded sadly.  "Of course, the next time we meet
Manga Man Gold we can just call him 'Manga Man', seeing as how he was
the original and now the only one."
     "You're forgetting Manga Man Black."
     "Right!  But at least he's not a threat anymore after what happened to
     Meanwhile, back at LNH HQ...
     "I never would have thought we would have been saved by a Manga Man
clone!" Cheesecake Eater Lad mused.
     "Indeed," aLLiterative Lass agreed, "I would not have Imagined It."
     "It's too bad what happened to him in the end though!"
     aLLiterative Lass nodded sadly.
     "Such a noble sacrafice!" Adamant Authority on Everything proclaimed.
     "Thanks to him, our daughter has her real parents back again!"
     "Because the roBot was a Bad Brestfeeder for our Baby!"
     "Wait a minute!" Kid Enthusiastic complained.  "Presumably you were
rescued in _Miss Translation_ before you were kidnapped again late last
year, but when did that give you time to have a baby?"
     Adamant Authority on Everything sighed.  "_Flame Wars IV_ happened
two years ago.  More than that in fact: it started in the summer of 2002.
There's been plenty of time for Cheesecake Eater Lad and aLLiterative
Lass to procreate in the meantime!"
     "But... but... he was only just rescued a few months ago!  And _Limp
Asperagus Lad_ hasn't even dealt with Flame Wars IV yet!  I'm so confused!"
     "It is the nature of continuity in a shared universe!" Adamant
Authority on Everything insisted.  "You don't complain that Captain
America can appear in three different series at the same time, do you?"
     "But... that means _Limp Asperagus Lad_ is THREE YEARS behind in
     "Yeah, but Saxon's using a sliding time scale anyway so, to him, he's
actually only a few weeks behind."
     "The important thing is that, with all the relevent plot elements
from this add-on cascade having been resolved, everybody can get back to
doing their own thing and maybe -maybe- continuity can sort itself out."
     "You mean like my writer might actually go back and finish the _Digital
Jump_ storyline?"
     "Exactly!" Adamant Authority-on-Everything said.
     "But he's the one who started this cascade!  It's not like he hasn't
had time."
     "We'll just have to wait and see."
WILL Andrew Perron go back to writing _Digital Jump_?
WILL _Limp Asperagus Lad_ ever catch up to current continuity?
You'll have to keep reading RACC to find out! :)
Saxon Brenton    Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
     saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au     saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"There will always be an LNH. Period. Even if all the current writers
disappear in a poof of light, some wandering group of weirdos will come
and look over the remnants of RACC, see what the LNH was, and rebuild
it all over again. In the comic book world, the LNH is a state of mind
that has been given a name: Comic book parody."
     - Chad Imbrogno, rec.arts.comics.creative, 1997
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