LNH/RACCies: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the RACCies! #4

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sun Nov 1 17:14:38 PST 2009

On Sun, 1 Nov 2009 22:25:10 +0000 (UTC), Saxon Brenton wrote:

> [LNH/RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the RACCies! #4

Oh my god o.o *explodes from the awesome*

>      Argh!  No!  That was the grim-n-gritty talking!  That type of self-
> centred attitude was exactly what Bluetooth was trying to escape from.  
> Think happy thoughts!  Mom and apple pie.  Little League baseball on a 
> summer's afternoon.   Puppies  (Alive!  And not in pain!)  Norman 
> Rockwell paintings.

You can fly, you can fly, you can flyyyyyy

>      Bluetooth looked up groggily.  Ow.  How the hell had that happened?  
> Bluetooth had beaten Samuel L. Jackson unconscious in _Just Imagine Saxon 
> Brenton's RACCies on a Plane Filled with Killer Ninja Gorillas!_ #3, but 
> now he'd been smacked down by a mere zombie.  That Law of Conservation of 
> Ninjitsu must be potent stuff!

Especially when combined with a Worf Barrage.

>  "Ah-HA!  One of the Hungry 
> Past's continuity zombies, I see," it said in a voice that was both 
> stentorian and cheesy.  "Well, the Red Herring knows just the thing to 
> deal with you.  Taste scarlet, you undead miscreant!"  And with that 
> shambling corpse of Phoenix Down was bathed in a red glow.

Hah, awesome.

>      Ignoring the fish's obnoxious attitude, Manga Man Violet did so.  
> He took one of the melee weapons that he'd been able to purloin from 
> the Interim Iconoclasts - in this case a katanna - and used it to 
> methodically chop Phoenix Down into little itty bitty bits, and 
> took special care to make sure there were any jointed bits like hands 
> that could come crawling after them.  Bluetooth was curious.

...you know, he wasn't actually dead.

Eh, he'll be fine.

>      Manga Man Violet was thoughtful.  "Obviously the Hungry Past has 
> started consuming the Looniverse.  Worse, it's got a bead on me, and 
> possibly any other people who know about its plans and have been working 
> against it.  First we need to get more people to project the other 
> colours of the spectrum, so that we can immediately dispose of any more 
> continuity zombies that show up.  Then, once we've protected ourselves 
> against the Hungry Past's cannon fodder troops, we get down to the 
> serious business of stopping the Hungry Past itself."

Ah, man.  This works *so well* with other ideas I had. <3 <3 <3

>      Okay, so that's three colours accounted for.  What other extant 
> characters with an appropriate colour theme will be dragged from the 
> LNH imprint's back catalogue to appear in the Blackest Night parody?  
> I've got a few ideas - green in particular is easy - but in a cascade 
> other people should have the chance for input.

To be fair, this is less a cascade and more a round-robin
indeterminate-length miniseries.  Which is exactly the same as a cascade,
but slower.

>    Manga Man Violet created by Jesse Wiley.  First appeared as Pointless 
> Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home in _Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the 
> RACCies... Again!_ #1.  Revised and name changed by Andrew Perron in _Just 
> Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the RACCies!_ #2.

Wow, he's been a Jesse Willey character this whole time?  I feel a bit

>    Bluetooth created by Arthur Spitzer.  Full roster entry below (because 
> I read through every single _Just Imagine..._ post over the weekend to make 
> sure I have everything straight in my head, and it would be a shame to let 
> all that data go to waste...)
>   TYPE: Public Domain
>   CREATED BY: (as Never-Gets-Credit-For-His-Dialogue Lad) Arthur Spitzer
>   CREATED/REVISED BY: (as Bluetooth) Jamie Rosen
>   POWERS: Never gets credit for his dialogue, using his power to baffle 
>     the reader about the identity of who is speaking.  As Bluetooth has 
>     increased strength and speed, a healing factor, and razor-sharp teeth.  
>     Was also able to mind control people with either technology or 
>     technologically boosted powers.
>   COSTUME: Blue spandex with electrical designs, belt with pouches.
>   IMPORTANT APPEARANCES: First story appearance in _Just Imagine Saxon 
>     Brenton's RACCies_ #14 as NGCFHDLad, when he sold his sole to the Shoe 
>     Devil and was power-upped into Bluetooth. Subsequently the Shoe Devil 
>     forced him and Firewire (nee Kid Antibacterial) to betray the Legion 
>     (noted after the fact in _Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies_ Epilogue). 
>     Used mind control on some killer ninja gorillas (_Just Imagine Saxon 
>     Brenton's RACCies on a Plane Filled with Killer Ninja Gorillas_ #3).
>     Revealed that he had been turning grim-n-gritty and had been searching 
>     for the Legacy Beam as a cure (Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew 
>     Perron in the Return of the RACCies! #1).

He's also got a wiki article at http://www.lnhq.info/wiki/Bluetooth !

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, opening up a new text file...

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