[LNH] [META] Aliens on the Looniearth

[Saxon Brenton]

Way back on the 5th March 2009 Andrew Perron asked: 
> What alien races are there in the LNH universe that would be on Earth 
> and engaged in fairly low-level criminal activities? Preferably ones 
> where a single hero could have a fight scene with a bunch of mooks 
> and not have too much trouble.
    
I should have been answered a while ago.  Heck, I should have started 
researching this a while ago, simply so that I could have a more 
comprehensive and accurate answer (and in any case, the information 
could go into an Alien Races FAQ for the LNH webpages and wikis and 
suchlike).
    
Let's deal with all the caveats by breaking your question down into 
three parts. 
    
Aliens who could be on Earth.  This assumes that they either have 
interstellar transport (including not just FTL flight but possibly 
also teleporation or astral traval or other funkinesses).  For 
convenience of summarising their natures, let's label these types 
Travel-A.  However, there is one example in the list below where 
the aliens are stranded on Earth: Travel-B.
   
Aliens engaged in criminal activities.  As a general principle I 
would say that almost any alien species could theoretically become 
involved in crime on Looniearth.  Some are far more likely to do so 
simply because of their nature and psychology (Nature-A) - but rogue 
or criminal or insane individuals could be forthcoming from almost 
any group (Nature-B).
 
Aliens who could act as low level mooks in fight scenes.  This 
excludes rogue Time Barons from Gallimaufry, criminally insane 
Etaoin Shrdlu, any of the dark New Mods that Flipseid may have 
dispatched to Earth (again), and any hypothetical Elders of the 
Looniverse called 'the Gangster'.
  
So the, using as resoucres the old _Looniversal Gazetteer_, the 
'Maximum Insecurity' skit from _Limp-Asparagus Lad_ #43, and my 
own memory for the more recent stuff, I have composed a partial 
list of semi-plausible candidates.  Looking at the list now that 
I've typed it up, most of them seem to be Nature-B, with a lot 
of skew towards belligerant imperial empires.  I think that may 
be because of the nature of our stories that opponents like that 
are so often encountered.
   
   
Christicantthinkofagoodname Empire - Dunno enough about these 
anthropomorphic koalas, including their species name, or even 
whether they're actually the ones in charge of the Empire or are 
just high ranking minions.  Shown briefly in Arthur Spitzer's _LNH 
Comics Presents_ #64 during the Infinite Leadership Crisis; they 
wear armour like Roman legionnaires, and wanted to conquer the 
Looniearth into their empire.  I'm guessing Nature-B: law-abiding 
enough on their own terms, and thinking crime is beneath their 
dignity, but with occasional criminals who would take advantage of 
the Empire's officious nature. 
   
Denominators - Humanoids with really big teeth.  As far as I can 
tell with only hasty resaearch, these were originally a throw away 
nod to DC's Dominators made in _Continuity Champ And The Drizzt's 
Defenders_ #9 and never made an appearance until they got a single 
line of dialogue in 'Maximum Insecurity'.  Still, if they act like 
the Dominators, then they're officous imperialists with the same 
sort of motivations as the Christicantthinkofagoodname Empire: Nature-B.    
   
Dorfs - Of the Dorfian Empire.  Humanoid.  Very old character concepts 
in the LNH setting, appearing as public domain villains in the rosters 
back in the 1990s.  Traditionally been depicted as belligerant, cruel 
and given to swearing.  In Jesse Willey's _Vel_ stories they've taken 
on a samuri/Klingon style warrior-obsessed-with-their-honour 
dimension.  It'd be a toss up between Nature-A and Nature-B, but 
if it was the latter then you'd probably get the twist that that Dorf 
would self-delude himself into thinking that he was carving out a 
feifdom and would probably get insulted if you pointed out that 
they were actually engaging in criminal activities. 
   
Dvorakians - (which I only just realised I misspelt as Dvorkian in 
the Gazetteer)  Uh, humanoid (I think) and an empire with the 
backhistory that they used a logic bomb to destroy the planet 
Qwerty, home of LNHer Myk-El.  Lacking any other information: 
Nature-B with the same caveats as for imperials.
   
Giant Radioactive Space Hamsters - A peaceful species of herbivores, 
so Nature-B. That said, culturally they don't have any particular 
love of humanoids, since they are a self-liberated slave species 
from the Small Humnaoids With Big Noses (the gnomes of the Spelljammer 
setting in one of the ADnD newsgroups) who have settled in Earth's 
immediate neighborhood.  This means that it could be more easy for 
amoral GRSHs to justify getting involved in crime on Earth than on 
their homeworld, since they're *only* committing it against humans.  
OTOH, bear-sized radioactive hamsters, many of whom have some form 
of minor superhuman ability and who are magic weilders rather than 
technology users, aren't going to count as low level mooks.
    
Inhilators - During the _War Without Worlds_ miniseries the Inhilators 
attacked the Looniearth with their mobile planet and were beaten off.  
In _LNH v.2_ #23 it was mentioned that several tens of thousands of 
the Inhilator underclass were left behind on Looniearth for some 
inexplicable reason, and these are the Travel-B aliens I mentioned 
above.  Also Nature-B.  Tall purple humanoids, many of them have some 
level of psychic power.
   
Qwarsts - Green shapeshifting humanoids with insectoid characteristics.  
Shown briefly in my _LNH Vol.2_ #27-28 story.  The story says they're 
main story purpose is to infiltrate a planet - but I'll mention that 
the original idea I had was that, yeah, they had inflitrated the mob.  
So unless someone else grabs the concept and runs in a different 
direction, Nature-A.
   
Zethrythians - A reptilian race that appeared in _Continuity Champ 
And The Drizzt's Defenders_ #7-8.  Although a somewhat xenophobic 
species, they are mercantile, and so renegades who favour the profit 
motive over all else would count as Nature-B. 
   
   
   
There are a number of others, who I would have to research further or 
are throwaway mentions.  For example, it shows how little attention I 
was paying to a lot of LNH stuff in the late 1990s/early 2000s that I 
have little idea what the Enobi were like.  (This, of course, is one 
of the reasons I started doing the End Of Month Reviews in the first 
place: to force myself to read and comprehend what was happening.)
  
  
---
Saxon Brenton    saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"You draw an innocent little comic strip, you try to bring a dash 
of joy into people's lives in these troubled times, and before you 
know it folks are describing steam-powered copper wangs and using 
the term 'teledildonics'. Where did I go wrong in my life?"
   - Shaenon Garrity  [16/Jan/2009]
  
  
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