LNH/Meta: The JONG Company would like to apologize to *you* the reader (or dare I say readers?)...

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Mon Sep 15 17:42:34 PDT 2008

Hello Reader (or Readers?),

As many of you know last Wednesday a copy of Beige Midnight #3 was 
posted to certain parts of rec.arts.comics.creative on the East Coast 
(East Coast Mongolia to be exact).  In this comic there were many 
horrible and depraved words and sex acts.  Some of the dialogue included 
the f-word, the c-word, the j-word, the hjx-word, the word that rhymes 
with Cher, and the word whose first letter is so depraved I cannot tell 
you what it is (other than it's a word that people use when they're 
talking about sex acts involving sloths and eggbeaters (you know that 
word -- Yeah!  That's the one I'm talking about.)).  It contained crack 
orgies, naked volleyball, and midgets riding naked crack dealing 
unicorns.  As well as various racist, homophobic, sexist, anti-semitic, 
and satanic imagery that is not meant to be ironic.

How did this all happen?  Please, let me explain.

You see when I write a script to comic I normally just write whatever 
sick and disturbed thought I have in my head and e-mail it to my editor. 
  And my editor and various letterers, colorists, pencilers, inkers, and 
other people throw this script in the trash and write something humans 
can read.  That's how it's supposed to work.  Sadly though the Saturday 
before last all of my editors, letterers, colorists, pencilers, inkers, 
and other people were at some Coke Orgy Party (which no one told me 
about -- Come on guys!  Where's the love?) -- so, they were all too 
coked out of their collective minds to throw my script into the trash 
and completely rewrite it.

So unfortunately, heartwarming innocent rewritten dialogue such as this:

"Yo, #$%*bag!  I'm the *@#&uhlicious Ripping '@#$@$@' Dancer!!  You 
going to *&@$# or am I going to have *&^$% your @#!*&hole?!!"

Became un-rewritten dialogue that could turn boy scouts and choirboys 
into Rapist-Serial-Killer-Cannibal Vampires.

And thus we have the situation we're in.

But fear not dear readers!  For a completely profanity and perversion 
free version of Beige Midnight #3 will be posted next Monday! (Well 
assuming of course there isn't another Coke Orgy party this weekend).

We do ask anyone that has a copy of this Perverse Godless version of 
Beige Midnight #3 -- Please, Please send it back to the publisher who 
will give you a brand new spanking Godfearing version of Beige Midnight 
#3 (mint condition)!

Do not -- And I mean DO NOT sell your copy on Ebay for a huge shitload 
of money!  For the Love of God and the Love of the Direct Market -- I 
beg you -- DO NOT sell your copy on Ebay for a huge shitload of 
money!!!!!!  DO NOT do this!!!!  For if you do do this then EVIL WINS. 
And puppies, kittens, and America lose.  Yes!  Do not sell your copy on 
Ebay for a huge shitload of money.  No, don't do it.  I'm serious.  I 
wouldn't (Honest!).

We need to purge the land of this evil copy of Beige Midnight #3. 
Please, do your part.

This has been a JONG Company Apology...

And remember coming next Monday...

                    B     E     I     G     E

           M     I     D     N     I     G     H     T

                    T     H     R     E     E

Arthur "Terrible and Glorious" Spitzer

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