LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #3: 'Beige Easter'

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Wed Mar 19 16:57:41 PDT 2008

EDMLite wrote:
> On Mar 17, 7:49 pm, Arthur Spitzer <arspit... at earthlink.net> wrote:
>>                   The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
>>               Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon
>>                              "Beige Easter"
> It's sick, sad and wrong how much I was hoping this would
> happen...
>> It was followed by the sound of a komodo dragon
>> wearing an Easter bonnet on its head and number of FBI agents bursting
>> into the room with guns a blazing.
> I'd hate to be the Foley artist trying to come up with
> sound effects for this issue...
>> "Wow!  Two Holiday Miracle Pets -- in the same room!  And the FBI and
>> CIA!  This whole beige egg thing must be bigger than we thought, Sarge!"
> I can hardly wait for the debut of "Borscht, the Passover Miracle
> Wombat."  Or "Furbish Lousewort, the Miracle Arbor Day Snail
> Darter."  But mostly because it feels naughty to say "furbish
> lousewort."


You can do next year's one if you want, Rob...

>> "You see, Shirley was a Federal witness for a gruesome crime.  And
>> Cabbage was supposed to protect her.  But he failed.  And she died.  The
>> killer was never caught.  Eggplant went kind of crazy after that never
>> forgiving Cabbage for his failure to protect Shirley.  Cabbage quit the
>> FBI and joined the CIA.  And I guess the wounds still haven't healed."
> [begin flashback sequence]
> "Shirley!  My God, Shirley...are you all right?"
> "No, Eggplant.  I'm a frayed Knott."

And that's why you're the Pun King...

>> "Because I read, Kid.  The Net.ional Net.qui.error and Mid.Net Star.
>> Because they tell it like it is.  And because my wife buys them and I
>> need something to read when I'm taking a dump."
> It's lines like these that make me proud to be
> a newspaper journalist...
>> "Aw, Cabbage has his little tiny ferret arms out!  I think he wants to
>> give Eggplant a hug!  And Eggplant -- he's opening up his mouth -- and
>> -- Oh god!  Eggplant just swallowed him!  Oh god!  This is horrible!
>> Eggplant just ate Cabbage!"
> I'm glad to see that Eggplant discovered the True
> Meaning of St. Patrick's Day... fighting and eating
> cabbage...
>> This is pretty horrible, but I felt I needed to write it anyway.
> Not at all.  In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say
> this was the best holiday-themed ferret vs. Komodo
> dragon story I've ever read.

Glad you liked it...

> --Easily-Discovered Man Lite
> --Wishing everyone a happy Evacuation Day

Arthur "Happy Quinquatria" Spitzer

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