LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #3: 'Beige Easter'
robrogers72 at gmail.com
Tue Mar 18 15:51:46 PDT 2008
On Mar 17, 7:49 pm, Arthur Spitzer <arspit... at earthlink.net> wrote:
> The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
> Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon
> "Beige Easter"
It's sick, sad and wrong how much I was hoping this would
> It was followed by the sound of a komodo dragon
> wearing an Easter bonnet on its head and number of FBI agents bursting
> into the room with guns a blazing.
I'd hate to be the Foley artist trying to come up with
sound effects for this issue...
> "Wow! Two Holiday Miracle Pets -- in the same room! And the FBI and
> CIA! This whole beige egg thing must be bigger than we thought, Sarge!"
I can hardly wait for the debut of "Borscht, the Passover Miracle
Wombat." Or "Furbish Lousewort, the Miracle Arbor Day Snail
Darter." But mostly because it feels naughty to say "furbish
> "You see, Shirley was a Federal witness for a gruesome crime. And
> Cabbage was supposed to protect her. But he failed. And she died. The
> killer was never caught. Eggplant went kind of crazy after that never
> forgiving Cabbage for his failure to protect Shirley. Cabbage quit the
> FBI and joined the CIA. And I guess the wounds still haven't healed."
[begin flashback sequence]
"Shirley! My God, Shirley...are you all right?"
"No, Eggplant. I'm a frayed Knott."
> "Because I read, Kid. The Net.ional Net.qui.error and Mid.Net Star.
> Because they tell it like it is. And because my wife buys them and I
> need something to read when I'm taking a dump."
It's lines like these that make me proud to be
a newspaper journalist...
> "Aw, Cabbage has his little tiny ferret arms out! I think he wants to
> give Eggplant a hug! And Eggplant -- he's opening up his mouth -- and
> -- Oh god! Eggplant just swallowed him! Oh god! This is horrible!
> Eggplant just ate Cabbage!"
I'm glad to see that Eggplant discovered the True
Meaning of St. Patrick's Day... fighting and eating
> This is pretty horrible, but I felt I needed to write it anyway.
Not at all. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say
this was the best holiday-themed ferret vs. Komodo
dragon story I've ever read.
--Easily-Discovered Man Lite
--Wishing everyone a happy Evacuation Day
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