LNH: 58.5 #44 This One Written By The Lalo From Evilverse

Lalo Martins lalo.martins at gmail.com
Sun Jun 8 00:11:00 PDT 2008

It's April 385th.  For 19 days, Cannon Fodder has been crossing
universes, looking for the one the Xinerama Brotherhood uses as
their base of operations.  The New Misfits have been searching
for the Time Crapper, who apparently has the Ultimate Gnab, an
universe-killing weapon created by the Evilverse LNH.  Pantra,
the foul-mouthed, badly-behaved leopard girl who came from the
future with some of the New Misfits, has been running with them,
apparently because it gives her "more things to hit".  Oh, and
the leader of the New Misfits, Blackbird, has been captured by
the Evilverse equivalent of his group, called the Acla Fright,
and replaced by his own Evilversion, Deathbird.  The Acla Fright
then proceeded to interrogate and kill him.  Or so they thought.


Who Cares Studios violently presents...
                        __________    ______
                       / ____( __ )  / ____/
                      /___ \/ __  | /___ \
                     ____/ / /_/ / ____/ /


                         Only Waiting
                   For This Moment To Arise

                       by Lalo Martins



"Why yeah", said the large motorcycle barbarian in the
post-apocalyptic world.  "I've seen those Xinerama Brothers kill
a guy once.  An ousider, like you.  *&$%er said he had never
heard of the Carnage Consortium and didn't care..."

"Yes yes", Cannon Fodder said, impatiently.  "I get the picture.
That's the kind of thing they usually target." .o(Outsiders.
Cross-posts like myself.  'Carnage Consortium'?  Really?)  "What
I really want to know is, where can I find them?"

"You don't find them.  They find you."

"Not good enough", Fodder said, breaking one of the man's
fingers.  "Come on, you must have heard something."

"All right, all right!  It's said they have a fortress in the
desert, near the Vegas Oasis..."

Cannon Fodder's heart sank, soon followed by his head.  "No", he
said.  "They don't.  You see... most people who know about them
don't live to tell.  But you're not the first I find who does.
Twelve survivors, in so many worlds, and they all believe the
Brotherhood is based somewhere in their world.  The first three
times I went and investigated, but really..." He knocked the man
unconscious, with extreme prejudice.  "It's just a big waste of
time.  And I don't have that much to waste."


"You can't kill Blackbird", he said, appearing in the middle of
the room, and looking Demon Girl in the eye.  "At least not with
the crude physical means you attempted.  I am, after all, not
entirely human.  I'm a Wicked, and we don't die easily.  And I'm
tired of being underestimated."

"What's a Wicked?", Howie K. whispered to Analytic.

"Not now", Sammy answered.

"Impossible", muttered Disdain.  "We cut you to pieces, and fed
them to Old Ugly!"

"Clearly", said Calculating, Sammy's Evilversion, "his body is
not as important for his survival as we assumed."

"I've been eaten alive once", whined Runaway Boy.

"Brilliant", Demon Girl said, dropping Bonnie, who fell like a
sack of potatoes.  "Let's have a proper fight, then!"

"Oh, I don't think so", said the inhuman voice that vaguely
resembled Blackbird's.  "You see, you're not dealing with a
depressed teenager with powers, today.  I *am* my powers.  They
make me and define me.  By forcing me to rebuild my body, you
opened the flood gates.  Today, I'm not limited by my
personality and by my ideas about myself.  For all practical
purposes, you're not dealing with Blackbird, but with
Blackbird's power unbound.  Which means, all bets are off."

And it wasn't just idle talk.  By the time he stopped his
monologue, all Acla Frighters were on their knees, apparently in
great pain; even Deathbird, who was trying to resist with his
own powers, but finding it hard to access them.  In fact, he
started disintegrating, and apparently his whole being was
absorbed by the entity who used to be Blackbird.

"Blackbird", said Demon Girl, reverting to human shape, "don't
do this to me!  Look, it's me, Kathy, I can stay with you and be
what you want, what you need me to be!"

The boy seemed to hesitate a little.  But seeing Bonnie's
bloody, lumped form ended his hesitation.

"You're not the Kathy I knew.  And you know what?  If there's
something that irks me more than beating me to death and feeding
me to your pet monster, more than taking my place in my group to
try and kill my friends?  It's to waltz in my life, you and
Mary, reminding me of people I loved, good people that I lost
and won't ever see again.  You're not her, and you could never
be.  And even if you could: Kathy was a fool.  She made her
choice, and it wasn't me, it wasn't the team.  It's time to move
on; now I have" -- and he looked at Bonnie -- "now I have a new
team, new friends, a new world.  And you're not part of it."

Kathy collapsed, followed by Blackbird himself.  Howie K.,
Contraption Boy and Fan Boy were already acting, binding the
fallen enemies with power-blockers they brought from the Mystic
Bandwagon.  Green ran to check on Bonnie, and Sammy to check on
Blackbird.  Pantra moved close to Sammy trying to look helpful,
but feeling like she had seven left hands.  (Hurting was much
more her game than healing.)  And Smoke Ring Girl was just
standing there, chain-smoking, looking very uncomfortable.

After the last Acla Frighter was tied up, Howie K. looked around
puzzledly, with a set of restraints on his hands.  "Where's
their version of Green?"

"And where's Blur?", asked Daniel.

"The other Green wasn't evil", said Green "proper".  "Although
Blur should probably have discussed the matter with us before
acting, I'll bet Blur left to take Green back to the universe
and Earth he/she belongs to."

"Oy", said Runaway Boy, sitting up and checking his restraints.
"I'm not dead?  Why?"

"That's a damn good question", said Maggie.

"I don't think it's our place to go killing people", said
Sammy.  Pantra just looked the other way.

"They're not people", Maggie retorted, lighting another
cigarette on the one she was smoking.  "They're Evilverse scum,
the same kind that murdered my family, and your friend Locke."

"Er, actually", said Forbidden Lore tentatively, "although I'm
sure our LNH *would* have killed your friend eventually, I think
the blame for that one lies closer to home."

"You shut up", Daniel spat.  "We *know* she blew herself up, but
it was because--"

"It was because her submarine failed", said the alt.Locke.  "Top
quality Crime Empire gear laced with Workolips tech, it could
have lost the Invisible Incendiary and delivered her to safety.
But it failed at a critical time.  All systems locked."

"How would you *know* that?", Sammy asked, making his curious
face.  "Unless it was one of your people..."

"No.  We investigated it, because we wanted to know what
happened to the Ultimate Gnab.  Using my technology, and
Contraption Boy's, we found evidence of, as you Loonies would
call it, 'foul play'."  She smiled.

"Sabotage?", asked Daniel.

"No.  The sub was frozen by net.ahuman powers.  The signatures
match the ones you call the Time Crapper and Mother Time.  It
seems he *really* has a problem with you noofers, for whatever
reason.  So effectively, he killed her."

"LIES!", yelled Smoke Ring Girl, the smoke in the room starting
to converge and swirl around her.  "Excuses for everything, you
have?  Was my family killed by Acton Lord?  Or the Ultimate
Ninja, because he took a vacation?"

Forbidden Lore laughed.  "It's not an excuse.  I really don't
give a florg what you think of us.  I just have a perverse
pleasure in dropping painful and dangerous truths.  It should be
fun to see what you do about it.  As for your stupid cattle
lowlife relatives, I--"

"YOU SHUT UP!"  She had tears of rage on her face as she threw
herself in the middle of the bound Frighters and grabbed
Forbidden Lore by the throat.

"Maggie!", exclaimed Sammy.  "Let it go!  That's not what we do!
You know better!"

"What is it we do then, Sammy?", she cried.  "Let them go to
torment us again another day?"

"We take them to the LNH's holding facilities."

"You know as well as I do they'll escape eventually.  They'll
kill you in your sleep, or open the portal to the Evilverse and
resume the nightmare from where it stopped--"

"It's not for us to choose."

"And anyway", taunted Forbidden Lore, "it's not like your powers
are strong enough to kill all of us, is it?"

"Maybe I only never used it to its full extent", she said, as
the smoke collapsed around her like an ominous dome, covering
all of the invaders.

"Maggie, don't be stupid", said Sammy, jumping towards the dome.
But Pantra held him, hissing.  "Let me go", he said, struggling.
"I have to stop her!  Maisie, let me go!"

"By analysing her?  Nothing you can do, pretty boy."

And indeed, the smoke was already disappearing entirely, soaked
inside the dead, blackened forms of the Acla Fright and Smoke
Ring Girl.  However, their bodies just fell there, lifeless;
while hers stood still for some time, still kneeling over
Forbidden Lore's dead body, hands clenched where the other
girl's neck used to be, and then completely crumbled to dust.

"Holy ~&*&#$#~", said Pantra.

(BANG!), made something in the back of the room.  The New
Misfits who were conscious and alive snapped to attention,
expecting another surprise attack.

But what they saw was a Bang Path, out of which walked Cannon
Fodder, still looking down at his Secretary Box.

"New Misfits!  I need your help!"


 Godd Fodder           Cannon Fodder          wReam's (special
                                              thanks to Dvandom)
 Blackbird Jones       Blackbird              mine
 Kiwi Kiwii Kiwi       Howie K.               mine
 Meredith Samuels      Analytic               mine
 Bonnie Chique         Bandwagon Chick        Sue Clark's
 Daniel Hunt           Contraption Boy        mine
 Wally Windsor         Fan Boy                mine
 Green Delaware        Tree-Hugging Kid       mine
 Maisie Colbert        Pantra                 May B.'s
 Margo "Maggie" Sumner Smoke Ring Girl        mine
 Blur                  Blur                   mine
 (artificial giant telepathic terrestrial
  trilobite)           Old Ugly               mine

and not quite starring the Acla Fright:
 Meredith Samuels      Calculating
 Daniel Hunt           Contraption Boy
 (unpronounceable)     Forbidden Lore
 (artificial Lovecraftian
  horror)              Old Ugly
 Maisie Colbert        Rottweiler Lass
 Blackbird Jones       Deathbird
 Green Delaware        Person for the Evil Treatment of Anything
 Mary Smith            Disdain
 Saytan Black          Runaway Boy
 Billy Martins         Weirdo

If you're on Facebook, join the LNH group today!

More information about the racc mailing list