LNH: 58.5 #27
lalo.martins at gmail.com
Fri Feb 22 07:13:34 PST 2008
Previously on 58.5:
Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was
picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That
wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that
April has already lasted for 290 days.
A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH
from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining
members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President
Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New
Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance,
which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in
turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector
Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus).
One of the New Misfits died, attempting to get rid of Evil
Doctor Stomper's mega-doomsday-device, the "Ultimate Gnab", with
which the Evilverse LNH planned to implode the Looniverse. Now
the others want revenge; but can they face the Evilverse LNH,
even with the help of the entire Resistance and Crime Empire?
"What's going on?", the Crime Empress yelled at her radio.
Paraddox's phone tweeted the Star Trek TOS communicator sound.
He fished it from a pocket, tapped the screen, read for a
moment, and turned livid.
"What?", asked Blackbird.
"Well, good news is the enemy doesn't have the Gnab."
"I don't like the way you say that. What happened?"
"They got the submarine. Mister Manhandler is dead. Locked
Room ordered the sub to self-destruct. They're all gone."
Blackbird's eyes opened wide, and his power rose and rushed
around him for a moment. Another friend gone, a voice whispered
at the back of his mind. It was getting harder and harder to
keep the power under control.
"May the Sisters have mercy on them, because I won't." He
turned to face Paraddox. "I'm tired of this game. Let's go
make them pay."
Who Cares Studios revengefully presents...
/ ____( __ ) / ____/
/___ \/ __ | /___ \
____/ / /_/ / ____/ /
Sparks Will Fly
by Lalo Martins
Part 10 of Beige Twilight
Bandwagon Chick's shuttle landed in the middle of Fan.way Park,
Home of the Net.ropolis Ninja Baseball Team. It was smelling
horribly, but nobody was in a mood to joke or even comment on
that, with everything else that was going on.
"Yo", said Dawg, who jumped out first. "Haps in da hood?"
"The Crime Empire extraction team failed to bail Laran out",
Howie K. told them. "He's been taken to the Evilverse."
"What about the Gnab?", Bonnie asked.
"On the bottom of the bay", said Blackbird, "safely out of their
reach, hopefully lost forever. But so are Manhandler and Locke.
They killed her, Bonnie."
"Oh Locke", she said.
"She burned to death", said Sammy to himself, holding Paraddox's
mePhone and studying the report. "In a submarine. With
"And the Evilverse LNH is coming to get us", added Melissa.
"They tracked both Blackbird's team and Bandwagon Chick to
the same place. If we're going to hide, we have to move fast."
"I say we go get them", said Blackbird, between his teeth.
"We can't take them", said Howie. "Specially without Laran.
All our forces together... would mean nothing to them."
"Well", the Empress said, sounding slightly offended, "*I*
didn't join the fight last time."
"Even so", Sammy shook his head. "Even with you and Blackbird
at full power, even with all your agents. Not nearly enough.
Maybe it's time--"
"We can do it", said Paraddox, looking up from his Secretary
Box. "I just got the news I was waiting for. It's time to take
the fight back to them."
"*That's* the kind of talk I want to hear", said Blackbird.
"What then", asked Howie, "we fortify the stadium?"
"Stadium schtadium", Melissa said, "we'll converge on the LNHQ
again. I have two hundred agents already deployed, hiding in
the neighbourhood, ready for our signal. If Contraption Boy did
his work when you were there--"
"Oi", said Daniel. "What do you take me for? The building's
security systems have been updated, they can now tell the
difference between Looniverse and Evilverse natives and won't
help them in *this* fight."
"We'll focus the attack on the HQ's backyard. That's where the
portal to the Evilverse is", said Sammy.
"And the good news I have", said Paraddox, "requires us to be
around there anyway. So enough talking, more flying!"
And they all left; but a few minutes later, Blackbird (who had
asked to be in the same transport with Paraddox and the Empress)
looked up, into the older man's eyes, and asked:
"There's no good news, is there? We're just rushing to our
deaths. There's no way we can win this."
"Oh ye of little faith", Paraddox answered. "If you must know,
well, at this very moment..."
Laran forced his restraints again. "It won't give", said Kid
Recap. "They know exactly how strong you are. And this whole
prison is designed to cancel our powers."
"I am a god. Giving up is not in my nature."
Kid Recap shrugged. "Whatever helps you pass your time."
But just as he said that, a loud noise came from one end of the
prison. (BANG!) A hole had opened in the surface of the
universe, and out of it walked Cannon Fodder and Kid
"Oh boy", said Minority Miss. "We're being interrogated again.
What do you want this time?"
"Wait a minute", New Look Lass said. "They look different than
yesterday. Kid Not-Appearing-In-Any-Retcon-Hour-Story's costume
is much more elegant..."
"It's Kid Not-Appearing-In-Any-Beige-Midnight-Story now", he
said. "We're not Evilverse people, we're the real thing."
"What's a Beige Midnight?", asked Minority Miss.
He just rolled up his eyes. "I've been getting that a lot."
"Heh", said Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad. "I guess he must be
telling the truth."
"What?" Kid Not-Appearing-you-know-where asked.
"They let me keep my hat. They thought it would be demoralizing
for us to keep picking a leader every day, then see that leader
disappear at midnight. And being all stuck together here, we
have no choice but to see it."
"It *was* demoralizing", added Kid Recap. "It's probably the
only reason they didn't kill us, to have fun seeing us disappear
like that, one by one."
"So what's funny?"
The six-fingered legionnaire produced a paper from his hand.
"If we're escaping, or even fighting, I thought it would be a
good idea to pick the leader already."
He showed them the paper. "Kid Not-Appearing-In-Any-
"Crikey", said the azure ace.
"Sorry", said the hat-handling hero.
"Never mind that, let's get you guys out", he said, and started
Cannon Fodder got a Big Sidearm from his costume and got to work
on the power dampeners.
"Er", asked Kid NAIABMS, "Why is this guy undressed?"
"What is wrong with *that*?", asked Nudist Man.
"I am Laran", he announced, "god of war."
"From the Evilverse?"
"From our world", clarified Kid Recap. "He's been running with
the New Misfits, and got captured a few hours ago as part of
their plan to steal a weapon from the Evilverse LNH."
"Awesome", said Cannon Fodder. "We can use some divine
And with those words, Laran felt his power return, and broke the
restraints to bits. Then he held up his hand, and his sword
came to him, leaving a trail of destroyed walls from the storage
area to his cell.
"Well", said the LNH leader, "if we hadn't fired all alarms yet,
this certainly did the trick. So everybody, get ready!"
The fight was, once again, raging around and above the LNHQ. It
was of a much grander scale now, however; the Resistance and
Crime Empire were throwing all their resources, to the last man
and weapon, at the invaders, who in turn were pouring LNHers and
T.E.R.R.O.R. agents out of the portal. The sky itself seemed to
be glimmering in strange ways, in awe of the conflict.
"Wait a minute", said Sammy, from a vantage point where he,
Bonnie and Paraddox were coordinating the attack. "They're
running *to* the portal now. The T.E.R.R.O.R. troops, they're
not coming anymore, they're going!"
"Wha?", Bonnie asked. "That can't be right." She picked up a
pair of binoculars and checked for herself. "What the--?"
Paraddox just smiled. "That would be our reinforcements, I
imagine. Keep looking."
And out of the portal, streamed all remaining members of the
*real* LNH, led by Kid Not-Appearing-In-Any-Beige-Midnight-Story
and joined by Laran (who seemed to be having way too much fun).
"Now", Paraddox said on his radio. "They are sandwiched between
our forces and the LNH. Strike all!"
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE", yelled Kid NAIABMS.
All eyes turned to the battlefield. Except for Sammy's, who
were at Paraddox.
(You're good at legerdemain)o., he thought. .o(You have
everybody in awe at the good news, so nobody will remember to
question. But I won't forget. How could you *possibly* know
this was going to happen?)
Melissa The Crime Empress Rob Rogers'
"Andy" Martins Paraddox mine
Blackbird Jones Blackbird mine
Doug "Dawg" Tyler Ultra-Mobile Dawg mine
Kiwi Kiwii Kiwi Howie K. mine
Bonnie Chique Bandwagon Chick Sue Clark's
Meredith Samuels Analytic mine
Daniel Hunt Contraption Boy mine
Sgt. Lauro Graziani Laran, god of war mine
Godd Fodder Cannon Fodder wReam's (special
thanks to Dvandom)
Terry Kid-Not-Appearing-In- Saxon Brenton's
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