META: Ten years later...

[EDMLite]

Way back in June 1998, I wrote Easily-Discovered Man #34, which
included
a list of signs that the world may be coming to an end.

As it's nearly ten years since that list appeared in this newsgroup, I
thought it might be worthwhile to check and see how much closer
we've come to the end of all things...

>1. Know when the world is going to end.  This should be easy if you
>have memorized the seven Biblical warning signs of the apocalypse:

>a. The Beatles reunite, filling John Lennon's position with
>Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell.

Seems unlikely, though the Spice Girls reunion earlier
this year was almost as disturbing. (0/1)

>b. The Arabs and Israelis finally work out their disputes,
>allowing all the peoples of the world to gang up on the French.

*Sigh*.  It's almost painful to remember a time when the
Arab-Israeli conflict seemed like the biggest problem going
on in the Middle East.  (0/2)

>c. A successful, critically-acclaimed film based on a Marvel
>Comics super-hero appears in theaters.

Lo and behold, the last decade has given us Blade, Spider-Man,
the X-Men and Fantastic Four.

Of course, it's also given us Ghost Rider and the Punisher...
(1/3)

>d. Wile E. Coyote, the Trix rabbit and Kenneth Starr form a
>Quixotic Pursuit Support Group.

You know, I'm pretty sure if those three worked together, they
really could take over the world... (1/4)

>e. A mysterious leader, Fox Tiberius Garcia, unites fans of
>"The X-Files," "Star Trek" and the Grateful Dead into a cult army
>that nearly takes over the world, until its members are distracted
>by the creation of a new "Highlander" series.

I'd make a joke here about "Torchwood" being a mash-up of
"The X-Files," "Star Trek" and "Red Shoe Diaries," but
frankly, I'm afraid for my life.  "Torchwood" fans scare the
crap out of me.  (1/5)

>f. Scav publishes the final issue of "The 501 Blues: A Lurk of
>Faith."

I'm pretty sure this was mentioned in the third secret of
Fatima... (1/6)

>g. The Boston Red Sox win the World Series.

Has happened twice (2004 and 2007) in the last
decade.  Which means that we're one-third of the way
closer to the end than we were in 1998.  By my
reckoning, that means the world will come to an end
in 2028.

And here's what Wikipedia has to say about that year:

October 26 -- Asteroid (35396) 1997 XF11 is predicted to make
a close approach to Earth -- nominal miss distance from Earth is
930 Mm (580,000 miles).

You heard it here first...

--Easily-Discovered Man Lite
--Funnin' prophet