LNH: Stat/S.H.E.E.T. (Issue #-1)

Andrew Burton tuglyraisin at aol.com
Thu Mar 15 21:08:18 PDT 2007

"Hold it right there, Numismatist!"

Numismatist, coin collecting criminal of Mountmemory, @labama turned away
from the tray of rare @lantean coins he was about to steal. It took him a
moment to see where the voice had come from, but his eyes and ears soon
synchronized and he spotted the speaker!

"The Stat-taking Kid!" Numismatist sneered, "I should have known you would
try to stop me." Numismatist pulled his cloak closer to his chest and
snarled. "In fact, I did!" From behind the villain, several figures
stepped out of the shadows. "Penny, Nickel, Quarter, Dime, get the
Stat-taking Kid!"

Penny and Dime, the smaller of the two, circled out to flank The
Kid. Nickel and Quarter, the burliest of the pair, stalked straight down
the middle. All four looked ready to clabber the lone hero.

"Seventeen times out of twenty, you bring henchman," the Stat-taking Kid
said, "do you really think with an eighty-five percent chance of being
out-numbered I'd come alone?" The Kid put his two pinkies in his mouth and
let out a shrill whistle. "Let's get'em S.H.E.E.T.!"

["Statistics Handling Electronic Enumeration Titan" - Enumerating Ed.]

Before any of the monetary miscreants could react, two things happened in
quite rapid succession: The Kid bolted forward toward Penny and from
behind him; a large, white-washed titan emerged from the shadows.

As it stepped into the brighter areas of museum, S.H.E.E.T.'s large form
caught the attention of Nickel and Quarter. The two goons charged at the
robot, but where no match for its hydraulically empowered arms. With a few
deft movements, S.H.E.E.T. managed to pin both Nickel and Quarter to the

The Kid had just as easily taken out Penny and Dime. The two of them,
while being the smaller of the quartet, were experienced brawlers and put
of a decent enough fight. However, guided by his Cosmic Calculator Belt's
probability field, The Kid was able to dodge, weave, and confound both
henchmen until they were in position for S.H.E.E.T. to grab them from

"It's time to flip the Numismatist," The Kid told his robotic
companion. Before he could turn to chase after Numismatist, a voice began
to call out to the Stat-taking Kid.

"Silliac Pentium!" a feminine voice called. "Silliac, help me!" The Kid
knew that voice. It was impossible, but there was no mistaking the
voice. "Sil!"

"Barbara?" he asked. The Kid looked around, halfway expecting to see S.H.E.E.T. and halfway expecting to see his fiance. But she couldn't-- 
She didn't-- Oh.

A dream.

"Sil, were you going to help us?" Barbara Spotless asked, her voice
cutting through Sil's dream. He blinked a couple of times, opening his
eyes to be greeted by the smiling face of his fiance. "Or are you going to
sleep the weekend away."

"Probably sleep," a voice grumbled off to the side. Sil tried to ignore
Carrie Spotless's perpetual bad mood. Instead he focused on Barbara.

"Sorry about that," he apologized. Sil sat up, and then moved to
stand. "It's been a crazy week at work."

Barbara nodded. "It must have been, you were mumbling about percentages
and spreadsheets." She hugged Sil around the waist and planted a kiss on
his cheek. "You need to relax. I don't want the future Misses
Spotless-Pentium to be the widow of a workaholic."

Somewhere behind Barbara, Sil heard Carrie snort. He grinned at Barbara as
he shifted so they were walking side-by-side. "You don't have to worry
about me, Barb. We Pentiums are a tough lot. It'll take more than
accounting to do me in!"

Andrew Burton
tuglyraisin at aol.com
http://utilitarian.us - A Guide to Esoteric Technology in Paragon City
http://jarodrussell.livejournal.com/ - Take a guess. ;)

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