Superfreaks/ACRA: Superfreaks Season 2 #13

Martin Phipps martinphipps2 at
Fri Jun 1 05:09:50 PDT 2007

Michael King, Mary Bailey and Lana Lewis: crime scene
investigators.  John Phelps, Mark Johnston and Tom
Jackson: police officers.  Jack Greenspan and Edward
Bailey: medical examiners.  Alan Russell and Roger
Roeper: lawyers.  These are the men and women who
are truly our last line of defense.  But what about
the capes whose cases they have to investigate? 
Should they be considered a help or a hindrance? 

                  SUPERFREAKS SEASON 2 #13


9:30 am

  [There's a bomb on a bus.]
  [There's a bomb on a bus.]
  [I'm in your head.]
  Pepperton Police Detective Michael King was not used
to hearing voices in his head.
  [There's a bomb on a bus.]
  He thought only crazy people heard voices in their
  [It's set to go off.]
  He didn't think he was crazy.
  [What do you do, Mike?  What do you do?]
  "Where is the bus?"
  [Oh but that would be too easy.]
  "Give me something."
  [How about a name?]
  [Tim Crouch.]
  "Who's he?"
  [He's the driver of the bus.  Find him and you find
the bomb.]
  Michael left his office and went to look for Edward
  "I need you to find somebody for me."
  "Tim Crouch."
  "Who's he?"
  "A bus driver.  I need you to find out what bus he
  "Does he drive a city bus here in Pepperton?"
  "I don't know.  Check city buses first and then
Greyhound buses."
  Edward did as he was told and eventually he found a
  "Tim Crouch is a driver for Greyhound bus lines bus
number 1862."
  "What's it's route?"
  "Cross country from here to Orange County,
  "Where would it be right now?"
  "According to their schedule they'll be leaving the
station right at ten o'clock."
  Michael grimaced.  "It's almost ten o'clock now. 

10:02 am

  Michael drove down to the Greyhound bus station and
managed to catch the bus just as it was coming out of
the station.  He stood in the road in fron of the bus
and waved his badge.  The bus stopped.  He went to
speak to the driver.
  "What the Hell is your problem?" the driver asked
  "There's a bomb on this bus and it's set to go off,"
Michael told him.
  "There is a bomb on this bus," one of the passengers
said, "but you're too late: it's already started." 
The passenger pointed to one of the TV screens on the
bus that was playing the movie Catwoman.

1:02 pm

  "Do you mind telling me just what happened this
morning?" Detective John Phelps asked him.
  "It seemed as though I was getting a tip."
  "A tip?  From where?"
  Michael sighed.  "It was a voice in my head."
  "A voice in your head?  You can't be serious."
  "I know it sounds crazy."
  "It _is_crazy."
  "But, John, think about all the things we've seen
these past couple of years."
  "So?  If I believe you when you say you hear voices
in your head then I'm going to have to believe every
lunatic in the assylum."
  "I'm not crazy."
  "Michael, _nobody_ thinks they're crazy.  Sometimes
it's because they _are_ crazy."
  Just then a figure appeared amongst them.  He was a
medium height, thick set, hairy man who appeared to be
in his early forties.
  "I'm sorry," he said.  "It was me."
  "What was you?" John asked.
  "I was the voice in his head."
  "Who are you?" Michael asked.
  "I am... the Beyonitor."

                         PART II

1:10 pm

  "The Beyonitor?" Detective Michael King asked.
  "Yes," the Beyonitor.  "I have spent time monitoring
your universe from beyond and I decided it was time to
cross over."
  "So you're the one who kidnapped my daughter!"
Detective John Phelps said.
  "Your daughter?"
  "He's John Phelps," Michael explained.  "Katherine
Phelps was his daughter."
  "Ah," the Beyonitor said, "little Kitty.  She's a
lovely young girl.  You must be so proud of her."
  "I just can't tell you exactly how much it creeps me
out to hear you say that," John said.
  "Why did you send me on such a wild goose chase?"
Michael asked.
  "Wild goose chase?"
  "Why did you make me waste my time like that?"
  "Ah.  I see.  But I wasn't lying.  There _was_ a
bomb on that bus and, alas, it had already 'gone off'
by the time you had gotten there."  The Beyonitor
  "Very funny."
  The Beyonitor nodded.  "Yes, you're right, I must
apologize.  What was very funny for me must have been
very annoying for you.  How can I make it up to you?"
  "Don't bother."
  "I know!  I will grant you a wish."
  "A wish?"
  "Yes.  One wish."
  "Fine.  I wish I had a million dollars."
  "Absolutely.  Go check your bank account."
  Michael looked at John.  "Are we done here?"
  John nodded.  "Sure.  You're sane.  Me?  I'm not so
sure: I'm seeing god-like beings appearing out of
  "Very funny."

1:29 pm

  Michael went to the bank and checked his account. 
Sure enough there was one million, two thousand three
hundred and fifty five dollars and sixty three cents
in an account which should only have had two thousand
three hundred and fifty five dollars and sixty three
cents.  He went into the bank, flashed his badge and
went to see the manager.
  "There's been some mistake," he told the bank
  "Yeah, my account says I have one million, two
thousand three hundred and fifty five dollars and
sixty-three cents.  That's one million more than I had
  "Are you sure?"
  "Perhaps somebody transfered money into your
  "Could you check it for me?"
  Michael waited in the manager's office for almost
half an hour while he and his staff looked at
paperwork regarding his account.  Then the manager
came back in.
  "There's no record of any transfer of one million
dollars into your account."
  "So it's a mistake?"
  "It would seem to be."
  "Then fix it."
  "It's not that simple.  I can't simply take one
million dollars out of your account without knowing
where it came from."
  "But if it's a computer error?"
  "Then there should still be an explanation. 
Computers do not make mistakes on their own.  The
money _had_ to come from somewhere."
  "So I couldn't take the money out?"
  "No.  Not under the circumstances."
  "I see."  Michael sighed.  "How many accounts, in
total, do you ahve at this bank?"
  "About two thousand."
  "I see.  Tell you what.  Divide the one million
dollars evenly amongst the two thousand accounts here
at this bank.  Then presumably where ever the money
came from they would be getting back some of their
  "That's logical."
  "Can you do that?"
  "There'd be a considerable service charge."
  "Take the service charge from the one million
dollars first and then spread what's left evenly.  Can
you do that?"
  The bank manager nodded.  "It would take a while to
do all that.  We can continue looking for the glitch
in the meantime.  You should have you account back to
normal by next week, with a few extra hundred dollars
in your account and our thanks."
  "No problem."

2:11 pm

  When Michael got back to his office, the Beyonitor
was still there.
  "Why did you do that?" he asked.  "I gave you one
million dollars and you gave it away!"
  "It wasn't my money.  It was the bank's money."
  "How do you figure that?"
  "I didn't put one million dollars into my account. 
If I took one million dollars out then I would be
stealing from the bank."
  "Not if it's your money."
  "But it wasn't my money.  You obviously don't
understand economics.  You can't just create money,
not on paper, not electronically: it has to be backed
up by actual goods and services.  Otherwise the money
is worthless and the economy grinds to a halt."
  "That's not your concern."
  Michael sighed.  "Even if the bank had been fooled
into thinking the money was on the up and up, I would
still have known I had stolen from them."
  The Beyonitor also sighed.  "What do you want me to
  Michael shrugged his shoulders.  "I don't know.  You
can try curing diseases, feeding the poor, being a
real hero instead of getting involved in mischief all
the time."
  "You want me to be a hero?"
  The Beyonitor thought for a moment.  "I have an

2:17 pm

  "I'm in for ten," said Ultimate Man. 
  "I'll see your ten and raise you fifty," said the
Master Ninja. 
  "I fold," said Chesspawn, putting his cards down. 
  "Me too," agreed Gun Guy. 
  "I think you're bluffing," said Mr. Angry. 
  "Hey Guys," Raymond Heck said, "I'm getting this
weird feeling of deja vu." 
  Just then the Beyonitor appeared amongst them.
  "Who are you?" asked Ultimate Man.
  "What the Hell do you want?" asked Mr. Angry. 
  "I'm the Beyonitor and I want to join the Legion of
Extreme Fans."
  "Does that mean you want to join the poker game?"
Chesspawn asked.
  "I don't think you understand," the Beyonitor said. 
"I am an extremely powerful being.  I can make this
group into this world's premiere superteam!"
  "How do you figure that?" Gun Guy asked.
  "Well, for starters, do any of you people actually
have any powers?"
  Mr. Angry gave him a dirty look.  "Just what are you
implying?" he asked.
  "Alright.  Never mind then." 
  "Fine," the Master Ninja said with a sigh.  "So what
are _your_ powers?"
  "Mine is the power to do absolutely anything." 
  "Anything?" Master Ninja asked.
  "Such as?"
  "Absolutely anything."
  "So that means you are _all_ powerful?"
  "Pretty much."
  "So why do you want to join this group?" Mr. Angry
  "Why not?"
  "That's good enough for me," Chesspawn said. 
"Welcome to the Legion."
  "Yeah," Gun Guy said.  "You're in."
  "I agree," Ultimate Man said.
  Raymond Heck sighed.  "Fine.  But you're writing
your own roster entry."

                         PART III

9:15 am

  "So... how do I look?" Lana Lewis asked refering to
how she looked in your wedding dress.
  "Great," Mary Bailey said.
  "I'm sorry I didn't come to your wedding," Lana told
  Mary shook her head.  "Don't worry about it.  We
hardly knew each other then."
  "And yet now we're like sisters."
  "Are we?" Mary asked with her head slightly tilted.
  "Does it bother me that I said that?"
  "I mean, you did agree to be my bridesmaid."
  "I know."
  "Do you know that's how Michael thinks of you?  Like
a sister?"
  Mary nodded.  "Sure.  It's the nature of the job:
when you're on a case, you've got each other's back. 
There has to be complete trust."  She sighed.  "So,
no, I don't mind the analogy.  It's just that we've
only been working together for a few months."
  Lana nodded.  "We'll also be placing trust on you
for the next two weeks."
  Mary's eyes widenned.  "I know.  I hope we'll be
able you cope without you and Michael for two weeks."
  "Maybe you can bring Edward out into the field with
  "Do you think he's ready for that?"
  "You should know.  He's your husband."
  Mary nodded.  "He's been out in the field a couple
of times.  I just don't know about him carrying a
  "He should be alright as long as he has a uniformed
officer with him at all times."
  Mary nodded.  "So... are you ready?"
  Lana sighed.  "I think so.  Give me a few minutes so
I can make my grand entrance, okay?"

9:20 am

  "Is she coming or not?" Michael King asked.
  Mary laughed.  "She says she wants to make her grand
  The organist started to play "Here Comes the Bride".
  "I guess that means she's coming," Edward Bailey
  "Thank you, Psychic Girl!" Mary said to her husband.
  Lana did indeed walk out just then.  Frank Lopez
proceeded to take pictures of her walking down the
  "Well?" Mary asked him.  "What do you think?"
  Michael sighed.  "I can't wait for the honeymoon."
  Lana took her place next to her husband-to-be.
  "You look beautiful," he said.
  "Thanks," she said.  "You look handsome too."
  The minister waited for the music to start and then
began.  "We are gathered here today to join this man
and this woman in holy matrimony," he said.  He then
proceeded to have the couple exchange vows and rings.
  "I now declare you man and wife," he said, finally. 
"You may now kiss the bride."
  Michael stepped forward and gave his wife a kiss. 
Lana then turned and threw the bouquet into the crowd.
 It looked like John Phelp's daughter Katherine was
going to catch it but Naomi Chen, the precinct's
receptionist, deftly snatched it away, much to John's
  "Good catch," he said to her.
  "So I am," she said with a smile.  "Are you
  John refused to answer, especially with his daughter
glaring at him.

  Michael and Lana were on their way out of the church
when a now familiar figure appeared in front of them.
  "You!" Michael said.
  The Beyonitor nodded.  "Yes, it's me."
  "So.  You're back."
  "Yes," the Beyonitor said.  "I am here to
congratulate you on your wedding."
  "Well, thank you."
  "And I am also here to thank you."
  "For what?"
  "For inspiring me to become a hero!  I have finally
found somewhere where I am needed!"
  "That's good to hear."
  "So once again I am in your debt."
  Michael nodded.  "I see."
  "How can I repay you?"
  Michael shrugged his shoulders.  "Alright then, how
about a pizza?"
  Lana sighed.  "Oh come on!  A man with god-like
powers asks you what you want and all you want is
  Michael smiled and grabbed her hand.  "I have al I
could ever want right here."
  "Fine.  But maybe I want some pizza too."
  "Hmm," Michael said.  "Good point."  He reached into
his pocket and took out his wallet.  He handed the
Beyonitor ten dollars.  "Tell you what.  You go buy
one small pizza with that.  Then you do whatever it is
you do and make enough pizzas for everyone in the
city.  Feed the multitude!"
  "Why stop there?" Lana asked.  "Why not have him
feed the whole world?  There are a lot of starving
  The Beyonitor's eyes widenned.  "That could take
some time," he said.
  "Fine," Michael said.  "Tonight you can feed all of
Pepperton and you can get round to the rest of the
world when you get round to it.  Deal?"
  "Deal," the Beyonitor said.  "And if it all goes off
without a hitch then I can make it an annual event.  A
pizza festival!"
  "Fine," Michael said.  "Just don't expect people to
worship you in return.  If you want to do good for
people then it should do it without any strings
  "Excuse me?"
  "Without any pre-conditions."
  "Ah, yes, I see."  He waved the ten dollars.  "I
will do as you ask."  Then then disappeared.

  Lana smiled at her husband.
  "You did a good thing today.  Because of you, the
whole world is going to be fed."
  Michael nodded.  "I just hope he makes sure to keep
all the pizzas warm.  There's nothing worse than a
cold pizza."
  "Ew.  I know what you mean."

                        THE END


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