BP/LNH: Kid Kid #2

[Tim Munn]

Boring Publications Presents...

A Legion of Net.Heroes Tale...

Amazing Kid Kid #2

By Tim Munn


	A goat?  What, are all the LNH'ers emptying the dugout to defend
their star and a third string member now?  Kid Kid straightened
himself as did the Goat-Boy.  The crowd began chanting that very name:
"Goat-Boy!!  Goat-Boy!!"
	He laughed, responding to their chants.  "No, the name's not Goat-
Boy.  My name's Kid Kid.  You see, this fella here," he pointed to the
Fake Kid Kid, "He's a fake.  He conned a couple of old ladies and
LNH'ers who just didn't know any better.  You've figured out he's the
one who attacked Ultimate Ninja and Boring Man.  Now it's my time to
take back what he stole from me."
	The crowd, not listening to the Real Kid Kid, was increasingly
raucous now, and they could smell blood.  A few took pot shots at the
False Kid Kid, most either missing their marks or having little
effect.  He gulped as he noticed Goat-Boy thrashing his head about and
stomping his feet, preparing for a charge.  There was no place to run
or hide.  A narrow lane was forming around himself and Goat-Boy.  The
False Kid Kid looked into Goat-Boy's eyes.  They were bloodshot,
filled with a growing anger.  He whipped his head about again, sending
tendrils of saliva all the way around.
	This is it, thought the False Kid Kid, brace for impact.  He squinted
his eyes shut, reopening them when the Real Kid Kid let out an
unearthly whine.  Oh no, here it comes.  The Real Kid Kid began his
charge.  Oh, why couldn't I have just kept my eyes close?
	The Real Kid Kid slammed his head into the False Kid Kid's gut.  The
False Kid Kid flew back into the crowd, taking several out.  The Real
Kid Kid staggered briefly and fell to a knee.  He was dazed, as drool
foamed at the edges of his mouth and dripped down his chin.  Several
bystanders looked concerned and a few more rushed to his side.
	"Don't touch him!!"  Some one yelled.  "He might have rabies!!"
	As if one cue, the Real Kid Kid loosed another whine.  Instead of
charging, he fell flat on his face.  Those that would help him gasped,
quickly coagulating back into the crowd.  All the while, the False Kid
Kid managed to right himself, or nearly so.  The pain that Goat-Boy
had caused was intense, so much so he hunched himself over, only
minimally reducing the discomfort.  He staggerd through the crowd, who
were more interested in the Real Kid Kid than they were the False Kid
Kid.  Good, let them make googly eyes at that freakish farm animal
while I make my escape.
	The Real Kid Kid had notice this through his delirium.  His eyes went
wild; drool flowed freely; the whine was heard; feet were stomped; it
looked like a charge, but no.  The Real Kid Kid stumbled forward a few
steps, then back again.  Forward once more, he did several three-
sixties then fell to his knees, crying like a baby.
	"I'm so dizzy," he said between sobs.  Most of the sobs were from the
effects of the ram.  Part of it was losing the battle and letting the
False Kid Kid escape.  He could think of nothing good coming from
that.

	Meanwhile...  At a News Conference...
	"Hello, my name is Doctor John D. Green.  I'm here to report to the
media the conditions of two patients received earlier today.  The
first patient:  Ultimate Ninja, who was admitted with considerable
neck pain.  His underpants had been pulled over his head in what I'm
told is an 'atomic wedgie'.  Under surgical conditions, we were able
to remove Mr. Ninja's underpants from his head.  A problem was faced,
when upon further inspection, his underpants had become fused into his
anal region."
	Several in the media section gasped and made sick faces.  A weaker
few did become sick.
	"Mr. Ninja is in good condition after the procedure," Doctor Green
continued.  "The second patient:  Boring Man was admitted under
extreme pain.  Upon inspection of his wounds, there was noticed
extreme testicular swelling.  There was also an aggravated pre-
existing condition which complicated matters.  Mr. Boring was put into
a medically-induced comatose state so as to improve his recovery-"
	With that, channel thirty-six news coverage moves back in-studio with
its ace reporter, Pete Hayes.  "There you have it, folks.  All those
horrific after-effects from the horrible attack earlier in the day.
We here at channel thirty-six news wish Ultimate Ninja and Boring Man
a speedy recovery.  We wish the Legion success in their efforts to
catch this heinous villain.  Goodnight from Net.tropolis, and have a
safe evening."

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Copyright 6/29/2007 7:48 p.m. by Tim Munn

Credits:
Ultimate Ninja created by wReam
Boring Man created by Tim Munn
Kid Kid (Kid) created by Tim Munn
Pete Hayes created by Tim Munn
Kid Kid (Goat) created by Lalo Martins and Tim Munn