LNH: New Teenfactor # 1

Tarq mitchell_crouch at caladrius.com.au
Wed Jan 24 16:36:39 PST 2007



On Jan 24, 4:54 pm, Tom Russell <milos_par... at yahoo.com> wrote:
>                        * NEW *
>              |     | |   | |   | |   | |
>                | |   | |   | |   |   | |
>                | |   |  |  |  |  | | | |
>                | |   | |   | |   | |   |
>                | |   |   | |   | | |   |
>       |    |  |   |  |   | |   | |     | |    |
>       | |    |     | | |    | |  |     | | || |
>       |    ||  | |  || |    | |  | ||  | |    |
>       | |   |       || |    | |  |     | | ||  |
>       | |   | |   | ||   |  | |  |     | | ||  |
It took me a second to figure it out, but yes, I can now confidently
claim that that does say TEEN FACTOR. The O perhaps threw me off more
than anything else.

>    "Yes.  This one's just a decoy.  Meant to attract
> attention, distract people from the real thing next
> door."  He points with his thumb to a four-story fire
> hydrant adjacent the big gray building.
>    "I didn't notice that before," says Carolyn as the
> neon yellow building attacks her retinas.
I am not sure why, but deep down inside, I know that not noticing
something as conspicuous as a four-story fire hydrant (or a house-size
chicken, for that matter) will always hold infinte humourous appeal to
me.

> SPECIAL SUPER-FUN LAZY MAP SECTION: TEENFACTOR HQ
>        ___________________________
> _____ /  _____________________    \
>  R   |  |      Fire exit   STAIRS  |
> _____   |                       |  |
>  O   |  |                       |  |
> _____   |                       |  |      ___
>  O   |  |                  _____|  |_____|   \
> _____   |                       |            |
>  M   |  |        First    |M.B.>|  TRAINING  |
> _____   |        Floor    |  ___|   _____    |
>  S   |  |     (no ceiling)|     |  |     |___/
> _____   |                 |     |  |
>         |                 | Caf.|  |
> <-|    STAIRS_____________|_____|  |
> THIRD                              |
> FLOOR    Second floor walkway      |
> ___________________________________|
> Restroom         ^        |        |
> ________|        |        |        |
> Restroom|    First floor  Cafeteria|
> ________      (Lobby)     |        |
> <-BASEMENT|               |        |
> __________|____entrance___|________|
>
Interesting.

>    "That's great," says Carolyn.  "But you still
> haven't answered my question.  What is Teenfactor?
> Wait.  How can the floor-plan be shaped like a fire
> hydrant if the upright building is also shaped like a
> fire hydrant?"
>    "You know," says Ford, "we're not quite sure.  But
> if anyone can figure it out, it'll be you."
Well, that certainly tickled my funny bone. My elbow just won't stop
laughing.  =)

>    "Open the dresser," suggests Ford.
>    She does.  It's full of skimpy clothing.  Carolyn
> holds a see-through sleeveless blouse up in the air
> and frowns.
>    "Oh!" says Ford, blushing.  "They must have mixed
> it up.  It's supposed to have sweaters in yours!  That
> means..."
Oh, Lord. I saw that going so very many horrible, bad, not-nice ways.
=|

>    "Ernie!" coos Roxie.  She turns to Carolyn.  "I'd
> like to scallop his potatoes."
See, that works, because you don't see how it would work, but the way
it's said implies what it means so well that it doesn't matter that it
doesn't work so it does work. Like 'eating the cookie' or 'opening the
window'. Scalloping the potatoes, indeed.

>    "Do you have a power, too, Roxie?" says Carolyn.
>    "Of course," says Roxie.  "You want the fancy talk
> for it, I emit extremely powerful pheromones straight
> into someone's brain.  But if you want it clean and
> clear, I make people horny.  And then they do whatever
> I want them to do."
Wow, I have friends like that, too!

>    They exit.  Roxie stabs her plastic fork into a
> limp piece of spam.  "Alone.  Again."  She sighs.
> "Naturally."
Heh heh, I get it. Limp piece of spam. I-Just-Can't-Seem-To-Get-It-Up
Man strikes again!!

>    "Theoretically, I could create an infinite number
> of copies."
>    Carolyn curls up her nose.  "Are you sure?  I mean,
> you could probably do any number that you like, but it
> would have to be a real number.  I don't think
> something like infinity would be possible."
>    "Yeah, you're probably right," says Ernest quickly,
> throwing up his hand.
>    "I didn't mean to upset you, I just..."
>    "I'm not upset," he says.  "I'm not.  I'm not
> upset."
Ernest, you deserve to be upset, you pathetic fool. Look at yourself.
Go on. Do it. Look at yourself. You are nothing. Nothing! Nothing, I
say!

> her anxiety.  As she steps onto the walkway, she must
> step aside for Malingerer Lad, who is exiting Roxie's
> room.  He's covered in sweat.
>  [...]
>    She walks by Roxie's door and sees that it's open.
> Roxie lies on the bed, wearing a slinky little dress.
>    "Hi," she coos, waving at Carolyn with her toes.
Re: I have friends like that, too!

Okay. So we have the warily anticipated first issue of New Teenfactor.
And while things are still warming up, I have to say that I think that
there is a lot of potential here already. Characters different enough
to pull the team apart, but similar enough to hold it together. And, of
course, Gerald Ford. And not so much 'of course', the fact that
Teenfactor is, quoth Ford, "the government's pet team of super-powered
teenagers". Seriously, there's enough potential conspiratorial
foreshadowing there for a good size story arc, especially if it's
preceded by numerous smaller stories about the team having to commit
morally questionable acts because the govt. wants them to.

Here's looking forward for New Teenfactor #2.

~Mitchell.




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