LNH: Easily-Discovered Man #48

[Tarq]

Rob Rogers wrote:
> ---------------------------------------------------
>     Doused with microwave radiation, Theodore Wong
> gained the ability to glow and be detected at great
> distances by anyone with a Geiger counter.
> Together with his sidekick Lite, his intern Cynical
> Lass, and fellow hero Substitute Lad, Wong wages a
> constant battle against the forces of corruption,
> chaos and common sense as the fabulous
> EASILY-DISCOVERED MAN.
> ---------------------------------------------------
And now seems like a perfectly acceptable time to point out that
Easily-Discovered Man was the first LNH story I ever read (first RACC
at all, actually), and I still get all giggly and fan-girly as soon as
I see a new one posted. Tee hee hee. How my masculinity abandons me.

>     THE EASILY-DISCOVERED MAN PLOT SYNOPSIS
>     (to the tune of the "Theme from Animaniacs")
...well hey, it worked.

>      Rejections hurt.  They hurt whether they're
> coming from the college of your choice, or from the
> magazine you've been reading since you were little,
> where you always dreamed about seeing your name
> (though you never told anyone) or from a person you
> happen to care about.
>
>      They hurt a whole hell of a lot when they're
> coming from a very attractive woman who's slamming
> you into the walls of her parents' home with
> six-foot stainless steel arms.
That's a nice introduction, that is. I think it works well with the
whole first-person thing that the first thing you're aware of is Lite's
pain -- which is what he would be concerned about, not about where he
is or how he got there or whatever. All that's explained in time,
without shoving meaningless names and places in your face all at once.
Kudos.

> nice finger -- she'd clearly put a lot of time into
> painting the nail white with Liquid Paper -- but it
Haw haw. Apart from being an amusing aside, it helps to remind us of
the age of the characters, which is (I feel) an important element of
Lite's wise-cracking persona. A sixty-year-old wearing a Chooters shirt
wouldn't have quite the same effect, ya dig?

>      "...but the fact is that superheroes have been
> as damaging, in the long run, to the human spirit as
> fascism or communism," she said, smoothing one long
> strand of her short blond hair back over her ear.
Now that instantly grabbed my attention: the idea that superheroism
could have a negative effect on humanity had not actually occurred to
me before, I believe. This made me think, even before the ensuing
explanation ensued, which I enjoy. It's a much more profound thought
than 'I wonder what Mr. Naughty's nefarious plan is?' or whatever.

>      "Because we all wear uniforms, have silly
> titles, and tend to discourage the reading of
> literature?" I asked, worried about the direction
> the conversation was taking.
[increasing suspense due to still not knowing Aurora's reasoning]

>      "Think about it," Aurora said.  "All three
> movements became popular during the Depression, when
> people lost faith in government, in religion, and in
> their own ability to take care of themselves.  All
> three depend on a 'good vs. evil' ideology, with the
> party in power defining who the villains are.
> Everything that's wrong with the world is the bad
> guys' fault, and only an elite corps of good guys has
> the ability to save the world from their evil plans."
Woah. Or 'whoa', as it is apparently meant to be spelt. Whatever. I had
seriously never looked at it from that angle. That does, however,
remind me of a conversation between Captain America and Maria Hill in
what I believe was the first issue of Civil War, something about Cap
being pissed that Washington will get to tell them who the villains
are, and Hill being all "I thought villains were people in spandex who
refused to obey the law" or whatever.

>      Aurora leaned forward.  "You went up against
> him," she said.  "What makes you so special?"
I think you may have just single-handedly destroyed my faith in
superheroes. Good job!

>      "Lite," Easily-Discovered Man's voice said,
> booming through the little gold "LNH" symbol pinned
> to my T-shirt.  "Your presence is required
> immediately!  Some nefarious force beyond
> comprehension is transforming the populace about
> Four Color Square into atavistic simians!"
This would be about the only bad point I have for this issue: Hasn't
the whole 'we turn you into gorillaz!' thing been done enough yet? =(

> Summer, I need to go. It's one of those 'people
> getting turned into gorillas' things again."
At least you recognize it yourself. =)

> throwing a hand around my shoulder.  "Woman is a
> mystery no power can divine, a riddle even the
> keenest mind can scarcely fathom.  Yea, even mine,"
Amen.

>      "haiku gorilla
>      lends me the power I need
>      as leaves fall, I strike," he said, and leapt
I cannot deny that I was hoping that that would happen.

>      "Constance Schlubb," Detective Crumple said.
> "Also known as The Waffle Queen.  Found the body
> about an hour ago."
Dun dun dunnn!!

Alrighty! The saga of Easily-Discovered Man continues, with evermore
twists, thoughts, and monkeys, too! Keep 'em coming, Rob.

~Mitchell.