[LNH] LNH Comics Presents #48: Infinite Leadership Crisis Episode 13

[Martin Phipps]

               INFINITE LEADERSHIP CRISIS

                        EPISODE 13

                        "Meanwhile"

April 13th, 2007

  Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad read the name on the
piece of paper.  "Doctor Stomper."
  The announcement was greeted with mixed reaction:
Doctor Stomper was probably the most intelligent
legionaire of them all and definitely deserved to be
leader... but if Stomper were to disappear at midnight
like all the other LNH leaders this month then who
would be left to solve the problem of these
disappearances?  As expected, an argument soon broke
out about what they should do next.
  "Gentlemen," Stomper said.  "Do you mind?  We need
to get to work.  Otherwise I will disappear at
midnight tonight."
  Linguist Lass, meanwhile, had her own concern.  She
sought out wReamHack in the crowd and soon found him.
  "wReamHack!"
  "Linguist Lass.  Hi."
  "wReamHack, can you pilot a flight.thingee for me?"
  wReamHack shrugged his shoulders.  "I know how to do
it but as for whether or not I would be allowed to,
that would be something I guess I'd have to go get
permission from Stomper for.  Why?  Where do you want
to go?"
  "Jungle Island."
  wReamHack shuddered.  He remembered the last time he
was at Jungle Island during the Jungle Cheesecake
storyline (Ultimate Ninja #'s 6-9).  "Why Jungle
Island?  What could you possibly want to find there?"
  Linguist Lass smiled.  "The Rung of Revamp."

Elsewhere...
  Ultimate Ninja had been on vacation for two weeks
fishing on the same river.  He was getting a bit
annoyed with the whole process of baiting a hook,
lowering the fishing line into the water and waiting
for the fish to come to him and take the bait.
  It suddenly dawned on him how unsatisfying a process
this was, especially for a ninja!  While it may suit a
ninja to lie in wait stalking his prey, it was not a
form of attack that required any special skills: the
method consisted entirely of baiting a hook and
waiting.  It lacked honour.
  Ultimate Ninja decided that he should find a way to
attack the fish that utilized his unique skills.  He
proceeded to pack up his fishing gear and head back to
the hotel where he was staying.

  "The Rung of Revamp?" wReamHack asked incredulously.
 "I still don't understand why?"
  "You were the last to use it, weren't you?" Linguist
Lass asked.
  "Yes when I transformed from RosterwReam to
wReamHack but..."
  "So you should be able to help me find it."
  "But that doesn't explain why you would want it. 
The Rung of Revamp doesn't make you all powerful or
anything: if anything it just turns you into a cooler,
more modern version of what you were all along."
  "And what's wrong with that?"
  wReamHack shrugged his shoulders.  "Nothing I
suppose.  But how is that going to help us?"
  Linguist Lass sighed.  "Okay, I admit it.  I want
the rung for purely selfish reasons.  Being able to
speak various languages isn't exactly a cool power.  I
thought the Rung of Revamp could grant me a new set of
powers."
  wReamHack nodded.  "Okay.  I'll speak to Stomper and
see if I can't get his permission to borrow a
flight.thingee."
  "Great!"

  Ultimate Ninja came back from his hotel room wearing
nothing but a towel that he had wrapped around his
private area sumo style.  He had wrapped it so tightly
that even when he was waist deep in water the towel
didn't come off.
  Ultimate Ninja waded out into the water and then
stopped.  He concentrated first on slowing down his
heart beat and then lowering his body temperature to
that of the surrounding water.  He, in effect, became
invisible to the fish swimming around him.
  Ultimate Ninja continued to concentrate until he
knew not only where all the fish were but also where
they were most likely to move to next.  When the time
came... he struck!  He moved so quickly that the fish
he grabbed were not even aware of having been grabbed
until he had broken their necks: thus the fish never
so much as struggled and there were no tell tale waves
in the water to alert the other fish.  Ultimate Ninja
had managed to grab a dozen fish this way before the
remaining fish around him realised the danger and swam
away in fear.
  Ultimate Ninja smiled with satisfaction.  He would
be eating sashimi for days based on what he had been
able to catch in mere moments!  But this still wasn't
a great challenge for him.
  He looked up into the surrounding mountains and
wondered if there were any bears he could fight.

  Having gotten permission from Doctor Stomper to use
a flight.thingee, wReamHack and Linguist Lass flew off
to Jungle Island.
  "We'll have to hurry if we want to be there for
tomorrow's vote," wReamHack said.
  "Are you that anxious to disappear?" Linguist Lass
asked.
  wReamHack shrugged his shoulders.  "I don't know. 
It would be a great honour to be elected leader, even
if it just involves having my name selected from a
hat.  I'd still be leader and people would still look
up to me, which would be cool.  And as for
disappearing, well, I'm sure Stomper will figure
something out."
  "Assuming _he_ doesn't disappear at midnight
tonight."
  "Yeah."  He sighed.  "But mostly we all have to be
there because it's only fair.  I mean, if you're not
there when your name is called out does that mean
they'll pick somebpdy else?"
  "It would be a bit cowardly."
  "Yeah.  And what if you are voted leader in absentia
and you disappear without even knowing you were
picked."
  "That would be a shame."
  "Yeah.  Oh!  Look!  We're coming up on Jungle Island
already!"
  "So soon?"
  "Yeah, well, we just filled up the travel time with
idle chit-chat."
  "So we did."

  wReamHack set the flight.thingee down on the island.
 They got out and proceeded to look for the Rung of
Revamp.
  "It should be near the volcano," wReamHack said.
  "Is this an active volcano?" Linguist Lass asked.
  "Yep."
  "So the rung could be embedded in volcanic rock?"
  "Yeah, it could be, but don't worry because not only
did the Rung of Revamp make me wReamHack but it also
instilled me with the ability to find again should
anybody need it."
  "Since when?"
  "Since right now.  Seriously, it sounds a lot more
plausible than just saying we stumbled across it."
 
  Soon wReamHack stum^H^H^H^Hwas able to use his
tracking ability to find the Rung of Revamp.  He
picked it up and handed it to Linguist Lass.  "Are you
sure about this?" he asked.
  "Absolutely," she said.
  "It doesn't appear to be working."
  "Wait," she said.  Soon the Rung of Revamp began to
glow.  Linguist Lass's eyes widdened.  "Using the
power of the Rung of Revamp I now become... LINGUIST
LASS!"
  "Uh huh," wReamHack said, "and what exactly has
changed?"
  "I have new powers," she said with a smile.  "In
addition to being able to speak several different
languages myself I now can make others speak different
languages."
  wReamHack nodded.  "Okay.  Can we go now?  We need
to get back."
  "Sure.  What about this?" she said, refering to the
rung.
  "Oh just leave it there," wReamHack said,
dismissively.  "Otherwise everyone's going to want new
powers."

                   TO BE CONTINUED

Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad is Arthur Spitzer's
Ultimate Ninja and wReamHack are wReam's
Linguist Lass is mine

Martin


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