[LNH] LNH Comics Presents #45: Infinite Leadership Cry.sig Ep. 10

Jessica Ihimaera-Smiler jaelle at ihug.co.nz
Tue Apr 10 09:07:19 PDT 2007

LNH Comics Presents #45
Infinite Leadership Cry.sig: Episode 10

"Writer's Block Woman"
by Jaelle (with parts of the ending contributed by Saxon Brenton)

10th April 2007

In the LNH cafeteria, the Legionnaires settled down with their assorted 
drinks, breakfasts, newspapers and laptops, and waited for the latest 
leader to be chosen.

Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad groaned as his hand came clear of the hat. 
"Two slips of paper again?"

"It's not (*&$in' Suddenly Exploding Boy again is it?" 
Innovative-Offense Boy asked. "Cos I ain't seen him since I helped clean 
the #%&in' stains off the wall and if he's back I've got somethin' to 
say about that."

"No, no," Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad consulted the first piece of 
paper. "This time it's... Drabble Girl."

Drabble Girl looked startled and pleased at being selected, clasping her 
hands together as she thought quickly.

"We must find out why our leaders are all disappearing. I have a plan..."

Everyone blinked as, before their very eyes, Drabble Girl suddenly vanished.

"What the hell?" Sarcastic Lad demanded. "It's not even midnight yet!"

Fourth Wall Lass counted quickly and then shook her head. "No, she just 
hit the 100 word limit on her appearances and had to go."

"So, does that count or what?"

"For now we'll assume that it does," Doctor Stomper said, shrugging. "In 
the meantime, if we could have the second name please?"

Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad glanced at the next name. "Writer's Block 

The door to the cafeteria slammed open. Backlit in the doorway posed a 
noble figure.

"What's this? A plea... nay, a cry for aid. When one is called by the 
winds of need and destiny, one must then answer the call! And so it is 
that I have arrived. Fear not, for I am WRITER'S BLOCK WOMAN! A hero and 
a lady. And a firm supporter of the Net.Zealand Forest and Bird Society!"

"You're also today's leader of the LNH," Sarcastic Lad said, handing her 
a clipboard. "Here's the to-do list that Limp-Asparagus Lad started and 
then left behind when he vanished mysteriously like all of our previous 
leaders this month. Congratulations."

"Me?" Writer's Block Woman went pink, which matched nicely with her 
purple and gold costume. "You picked me? I... I don't know what to say! 
This is so unexpected! Oh gosh. I don't have a speech. Ummm... well, 
first I'd like to thank all the members of the LNH for choosing me, and 
I promise to be the best leader you've ever had. I'd particularly like 
to single out New Look Lass, who made me this latest variation on my 
fabulous costume, and Cheesecake-Eater Lad, who created the wonderful 
neopolitan cheesecake I had last week... where is he anyway? Oh, also, 
thanks to Kiwi, Kiwi and Kiwi Incorporated, the fantastic house-sitting 
service I hire to take care of things at home while I'm out heroing... I 
couldn't do it without you guys. I'd also like to thank Stephen, Jane, 
Olivia, Samantha, Jen, Jamas, Toni, Topaz, Marcus, John, Paul, George, 
Ringo and Helen from Net.Zealand. And also my other Net.Zealand friends 
Amy, Brett, Carolynne, Diana, Edward, Frances..."

"So... do you think she noticed the bit about disappearing at midnight 
yet?" Fuzzy asked.

"Kylie, Lisa, Matthew..."

"I highly doubt it."

"Stewart, Tane, Ursula..."

Mouse slouched into the cafeteria behind her mother, rubbing her eyes 
and yawning. "Did I miss the draw? Who's todays sucker?"

"Yvette and Zoe. Oh, and of course I'd like to thank my wonderful 
daughter and sidekick, Mouse, for supporting me in all my endeavours to 
date, and who will continue to support me as I begin my tenure as new 
LNH leader!"

"... what?"




After Mouse had been calmed down and the resultant destruction repaired 
and cleaned up, the LNH once again reconferred to await the rulings of 
their leader.

"So, what's the plan?" Fuzzy asked.

All eyes turned to Writer's Block Woman expectantly.

She blinked at them. "Plan? Why yes... a leader must lead! And so must 
I. Let me see... what should we do, what should we do?"

Waves of writer's block began to emanate from the heroine as she pondered.

"We could... team up to fight some gargantuan evil threat from beyond 
the cosmos! Or... split up and go off and battle individually. There's 
so many here, we could do it through two titles. Perhaps Limited LNH 
Comics Presents and Canny LNH Comics Presents? But with matching 
costumes to identify us. Or not? Perhaps we should split up and then 
have internal conflicts between the two teams? I... I can't decide. I 
don't know what to do!"

Mouse watched as various LNHers began to reel indecisively around her, 
and pondered whether or not she felt like helping out. Darn heroing 

"Why don't you check the to-do list?" She called out.

A look of relief spread across WBW's face. "Yes! Of course. Let's see. 
'1) Balance budget.' Well, that seems important! Just as a balanced diet 
is important to the wellbeing of a person, so a balanced budget is 
crucial to the wellbeing of an organisation! And here is the budget, and 
I see that our income and expenditure do not match."

A chill trickled down Mouse's spine, and then jumped to the next person 
in range who had had experience with WBW's concept of accounting in the 

"Yipes! That's cold!"

WBW raised the clipboard high. "The budget must be balanced!" She 
announced loudly. "We must raise our income... so we will now all go out 
and buy expensive things and bring them into the LNH HQ so that there is 
more valuable stuff coming in than going out!"

Mouse thunked her head into the table.

Doctor Stomper made a valiant effort to avert the chaos that was about 
to descend. "Writer's Block Woman, that's not exactly how income works..."


As a battle cry, it worked surprisingly well.


Mouse buried her head in her arms as the HQ emptied rapidly, gleeful 
LNHers enthusiastically following their new leader and shouting 
suggestions about what they should buy.

"Oh dear..." Doctor Stomper cleared his throat, feeling vaguely guilty. 
"Well, perhaps now that it's a bit quieter around here we will make more 
progress on our research into where all the previous leaders have 
disappeared to. I know you're worried about your mother, Mouse, so you 
are welcome to assist us."

"Are you kidding?" Mouse lifted her head and glared at him. "When 
Ultimate Ninja gets back and finds out about this, she'll be better off 

"Not if you find out who the real culprit is and pin all the blame on 
them," Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad pointed out.

Mouse drummed her fingers on the table thoughtfully. "Good point." She 
gave him a toothy grin. "And if that fails, I can always blame the 
person who drew her name out of the hat!"


"The first thing we should do," Doctor Stomper interrupted hastily. "Is 
try to get some sort of surveillance on Writer's Block Woman. Mouse, is 
there any way we can catch up to her?"

"Catch up to Writer's Block Woman?? While she's SHOPPING??? Are you 


Mouse gave it her best shot anyway, using all of her skills and training 
and the resources of the small part of the LNH that was not joining in 
the great spend-up, but she was no match for WBW's shopping-fu. After 
spending all day fighting through one screaming chaos of shopping frenzy 
after another (how did her mother manage to find all these disaster 
areas anyway? If Mouse didn't know better she would have sworn that WBW 
was using her powers to cause all this trouble, but, no, they didn't 
work that way. This was just finely honed shopping skills and infective 
enthusiasm), Mouse was finally able to catch a glimpse of the shopaholic 
superheroine as she moved on to her next big purchase.

"Oh my, what a lovely dress! And it's on sale!"

"HOLD EVERYTHING!" Mouse yelled. "Mum! You... argh! Get... out... of 
my... WAY!" she snarled as she elbowed aside shoppers. Finally she made 
it to Writer's Block Woman, who was triumphantly holding a demure off 
the shoulder dress in cream and lemon that she had just managed to claim 
(and without tearing it!) -- but an alliance of other shoppers was 
forming just a short distance away and Writer's Block Woman would have 
to have to be on her guard.

"Well, no, actually she won't," sighed Mouse to herself as she checked 
her watch again. "Mum! It's almost midnight! "

"That's okay, I'm pretty sure the dress won't turn back into a pumpkin."

"That's the carriage not the dress and... WRONG STORY! I'm trying to 
tell you that it's almost midnight and..."

Writer's Block Woman gasped. "Oh my goodness! It's almost midnight!"

"Yeah and..."

"It's a one-day only sale! The prices won't be discounted tomorrow! 
Quick, to the cash registers!" WBW cried.

"No, Mum!" Mouse called futilely. "At midnight the LNH leader 
disappears! Ah. Well, I can see that you've discovered that for 
yourself," she muttered sotto voce as Writer's Block Woman abruptly 

Oh well, it was probably for the best, thought Mouse. At least the LNH 
was saved from complete financial ruin. And her mother couldn't possibly 
get into any more trouble if she was missing.

Then a nasty thought struck Mouse: but what if she was now getting into 
trouble wherever it was that the leaders were going?

"Okay ma'am, we've finished ringing up all your purchases. How will you 
be pay... hey, where did she go?"

Mouse looked up at the group of irate shop assistants closing in on her 
position and turned to run. Unfortunately it was at this point that the 
group that had been lusting after WBW's intended purchase suddenly 
realised that the dress was now up for grabs.

"I heard that girl call her 'Mum'!"

"That dress is OURS!!!"

Mouse looked up and went, "Arghh!" as the scrum closed in.


Character Credits:

Innovative-Offense Boy created by uplink.
Sarcastic Lad created by Gary St. Lawrence.
Dr. Stomper created by T. M. Neeck.
Fourth Wall Lass created by Saxon Brenton.
Limp-Asparagus Lad owned by Saxon Brenton. Created by Mystic Mongoose 
and wReam.
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad created by Arthur Spitzer.
Fuzzy created by Connie Hirsh.
Writer's Block Woman, Mouse, and Drabble Girl created by Jaelle.

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