LNH/META: What kind of LNH Character is Tom Russell?

[Tom Russell]

No, I'm not talking about
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/testgen/4442 !

I'm talking about a contest of an all-together different nature!

Here's the skinny: Tom Russell needs a writer character.  Now, sure,
just about all my characters are author surrogates in one way or
another.  But that's not the same thing as a WC!

I need a character that sums me up, perferably by exaggerating one of
my traits until there's no semblance of my real personality left!  I
need a character who will become so associated with me, there's no
question who it belongs to!  I want to be able to sign my posts "Tom
Russell, _______ of the LNH!"

But I need *your* help.  So, c'mon!  Let the contest begin!

==Tom Russell, ________ :( of the LNH!