LNH: Legion of Net.Heroes vol 2. #19: Silly War

Martin Phipps martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Mon Sep 4 22:18:57 PDT 2006

  "I'm here to speak to whoever is in charge."
  Fred looked at the short man with glasses wearing a
business suit.  "I'm sorry but they're all in a
  "Perfect," he said, "I can speak to them all at
  "Um... I wouldn't go in there if I were you."
  "Don't worry.  I'm here as an official
representative of the Loonited States government.  I
am here under the direct authority of the President of
the Loonited States!"
  Fred cringed.  "I was afraid of that.  You see, if I
am not mistaken, I do believe Ultimate Ninja voted
Democrat in the last election."

        LNH: Legion of Net.Heroes vol 2. #18:
                     Silly War

  "So, as you can see, the net effect of all this
nonsense is that there is now only one of me and I do,
in fact, have two hands."  Ultimate Ninja showed his
hands off to everybody in the Central Control Centre.
  "Excuse me!"
  "Who are you and what are you doing here?" the Ninja
asked as he grabbed hold of his Ginsu Katana Blade.
  "My name is Gary O'Henry and I'm here as a
representative of the Loonited States government.  I
am here under the direct authority of the President!"
  Irony Man got up to shake his hand.  "Welcome to LNH
HQ, Mr. O'Henry!  I am a firm supporter of your
administration!  I'm sure we'd all be pleased to
assist you in any way!  Just let us know what it is
that you want us to do!"
  Catalyst Lass sighed.  "Do you realise that you are
behaving exactly the way that your counterpart in the
Marvel Universe is currently being portrayed?"
  "Yes, of course," Irony Man said.  "I can emit irony
as well as detect it."
  "Not all of us feel the same way Irony Man does,"
Fearless Leader said.  "But I'm sure we are all
willing to listen to what you have to say."
  "Alright," Gary O'Henry said.  "We've been
monitoring the LNH through it's website eyrie.org/LNH
and we've noticed that the roster is years out of
  "You've been monitoring us?" Paranoid Lad asked. 
"The government has been monitoring us?"
  "We would like you to bring the roster up to date. 
Specifically, we would ask that each of you who has
not already done so to write up a roster entry for
yourselves detailing your real names and what you can
  "You want to know our real names?" Paranoid Lad
  "You want to know what we can do?"
  O'Henry shrugged his shoulders.  "We just need the
information for our records."
  "You want the information so you can spy on us!  You
want the information so you can control us!"
  Irony Man stood up.  "Paranoid Lad!  Control
  "The government wants to take us over!  They're
going to use us to invade I.ram!"
  Irony Man proceeded to beat the snot out of Paranoid
Lad, thus providing the required fight scene for this
  "I apologize for this incident, Mr. O'Henry," Irony
Man said.
  "Ow," Paranoid Lad said.
  "You are really asking quite a lot," Ultimate Ninja
  "Why is that?"
  "The LNH member in charge of keeping the roster up
to date, Master Roster Man, he's been missing for
sometime and we don't know how to contact him."
  "Of course, if we did know how to contact him then
he wouldn't be missing," Irony Man pointed out. 
  "And with new members like Paranoid Lad constantly
popping up from out of nowhere, it would be a
humongous task trying to update the roster."
  "So what do you suggest?" O'Henry asked.
  "You are welcome go go around LNH HQ, speak to LNH
members and try to get the information yourself."
  O'Henry considered the idea.  "I don't really have
time today.  I will have to report back to my
superiors in order to determine if this is an
acceptable solution."
  "I'm sorry we couldn't be more help."
  "No, that's alright," O'Henry said, "I appreciate
you all taking the time to speak with me."  He left.
  Deja Dude frowned.  "Is that it?  Is that the entire
issue?  Some thinly veiled political commentary and
one fight scene?  That's it?"
  "We could always bring Master Blaster down here and
the two of you could talk about movies," Sarcastic Lad
  "Um, no, that's okay.  This is probably enough for
one issue," Deja Dude said.  "Or maybe Tom Russell can
add on one of those Untold Tales of Pants Rabbit Lad
stories.  Assuming he has time, that is."

                       THE END 

Irony Man created by Doug Moran
Ultimate Ninja created by wReam
Fearless Leader created by Dave Van Domelan
Catalyst Lass created by Elizabeth Riba
Sarcastic Lad created by Gary St. Lawrence
Fred created by Hubert Bartles
Gary O'Henry, Deja Dude, Master Blaster and Paranoid
Lad created by me

Martin Phipps

Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around 

More information about the racc mailing list