LNH: Haiku Gorilla # 125: The Strangling At Howell's Manor, Part Two of Two!

Tom Russell milos_parker at yahoo.com
Wed May 31 14:02:58 PDT 2006


the butler did it
only clue: foccault's razor
spring will come again



We recently found in our mailbag the following anonymous letter of the
"Miss Lonelyhearts" variety:

      Can you pass this letter on to H.G?

     Summer burns thru me.
     A friend seen in new light

     Seasons spent apart;
     Lonely people at the ball.
     Is change noticed?

     Mutual friend
     Takes a wife. Everyone dances-
     Should I ask her?

Unfortunately, Haiku Gorilla _only_ answers questions posed in haiku
form (seventeen syllables, three lines, five-seven-five, with a kigo),
and could not make an exception for your three stanza epic, only two of
which qualify as haikus.  But we here at Senryu-Ken! were moved by this
appeal for help, and so we asked some of H. G.'s associates with the
LNH for their advice...

First up is Limerick Echidna (not to be confused with Limrick Lemur):

   There once was a man who feared
   Rejection, and so when a goil neared
   He'd guffaw the whole hour
   A perrenial wallflower
   And they danced with a man with a beard.

Whatever that means.

Next up is Grammer Lad, archnemesis of Spelling Boy.  Well,
co-archnemesis, along with Typo Lad.  Is Typo Lad still around?  Is
Grammer Lad still around?  And whatever happened to Spelling Boy?

Well, that's not the point.  The point is, according to Grammer Lad:

   "That final pronoun isn't clear.  Are you referring to your friend's
future wife?  Or are you referring to some other prospect?"

Says Self-Righteous Preacher, the moral major of the LNH:

   "If it's the wife, you better forget it!"

   "On the other hand," says Grammer Lad, "the gender of the speaker
isn't implied, either.  It could very well be a woman writing the
   "After all," adds Master Blaster, "only women whine so much.  Only
women, and pussies.  Don't be a pussy."
   Kittyman sniffles.
   "No offense."

Says SRP:

   "If you're a woman, you better forget it!  Repent!"  He stalks off
to find Frat Boy.

And, finally, we asked the perennial question, What Would Gamer Boy
Think?  Gamer Boy, however, did not return our calls.

Hope that helps.  Excelsior!


Master Blaster: Martin Phipps.
SRP: wReam.
Grammer Lad: ?

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