LNHY: Matthew Almighty 3: The Final Part... Really... Honest

[Tom Russell]

I have to admit, this one didn't do it for me the way the other two
did.  It didn't seem to have the same drive and inventiveness, though
you did create a sympathetic villain in Marcel.  (And I did like the
bit with the kangaroo, and the dialogue of the X-Men parodies.)

>   "Worserine, I'm a guy.  I don't have monthly
> periods."
>   "Yeah, but Pathetic Girl does."
>   "So?"
>   "So maybe it's her time of the month and you're in a
> bad mood because you're not getting any."

But why would her period prevent them from having sex?  I don't get it.


Sure, it might get a little dry down there around "that time of the
month".  But that's why the good lord gave Cryalot a tongue.

Blood _is_ edible.

>   "You know, in France, they still think Jerry Lewis
> is funny."
>   "So?"
>   "He isn't."
>   "Isn't that a matter of opinion?"
>   "Do _you_ think he's funny?"

Yes, especially when he had Frank Tashlin to reel him in.

His movies _do_ go on far too long, though.  They'd be much more
effective as lean, mean hour-long B-features.  But by that time, they
had stopped making hour-long B-movies.

God.  I just had a terrible thought: what if they remade the Mexican
Spitfire movies as 100 minute comedies?  It would completely ruin the
pacing and drag the thing on beyond all reason.

>   "If you stop people from laughing..."
>   "Did we ever ask people if they wanted to be cured
> of AIDS or siphylus?"
>   "That's different."
>   "Is it?" Michel asked.  "I seem to recall that we
> would arrive, sometimes in the middle of the night,
> sometimes without waking people up, we would just look
> at our 'patients' and determine what was wrong with
> them and then just cure them."
>   "AIDS and siphylus are deadly diseases."
>   "Okay.  What about herpes?"
>   "Nobody wants herpes."
>   "But we didn't ask.  That's the point."  Michel
> smiled, having made his point.  "Now I'm asking.  I'm
> not doing anything to anybody who does not want a
> cure."

And it's a good point, too, as Saxon pointed out.  I just wish it had
been developed a bit more in the story itself, instead of cropping up
in this somewhat didactic conclusion.


>   "Just two: The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine of
> the Spotless Mind."

I hated Eternal Sunshine.  Hated it.  Hated it.  Granted, I only got
about forty minutes in, but those forty minutes were enough to turn me
off of the rest of it.  I've never seen it since, and I _own_ the
god-damn DVD.

If I want to watch a couple scream at each other all the time, I'll
grab a Cassavetes movie.  And if I want to watch Elijah Wood look
creepy, I'll... watch any other movie he's ever been in. :-)

>                         THE END
>
> Martin

I actually hope that this isn't the end-- this one was kind of like
RETURN OF THE JEDI.  It was alright, but compared to the first two...

Anyway, here's hoping we see more of Pauli sometime in the future.

--Tom