usVerse: The Unfinished Sentence-Verse # 5

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at
Fri May 12 17:01:23 PDT 2006

it's where all the action is!


'D is for Disco Viking Gila Monster 70's Flashback Issue'

The 1970s...

It was a dark and funky night.  The Village People's song 'Macho Man' played
in the background.  People were getting ready to boogie down.  And then he
came in.  He wore bell bottoms and a polyster shirt.  He had a gold chain
necklace and some mood rings.  And -- he was a gila monster.

"Whohh!" said a girl named Rhonda wearing a roller derby costume.  "Who's
Mr. Smooth with the horny helmet?  He's giving me a Saturday Night Fever!"

"That, Sweet Cheeks, is Dr. Dance Magic himself," said the bartender named
Larry.  "He's the Baron of Boogie.  There ain't no one alive that can match
him on the dance floor."

"He's So Dreamy!"

"You can say that again.  But I got to warn you if you're alone with him for
just one sec he'll eat you alive!"

"Mmm.  Sounds like my kind of man!"

"You can say that again."

Suddenly without warning a voice thundered in the room. "Gobble! Gobble!

"Oh shit!  Not him!" Larry the bartender quickly put the glass that he was
filling down.  Someone had entered the Dance Studio.  A turkey.  A turkey
with a pimp hat!

"Damn, it's Dr. Dance Magic's greatest arch-enemy: Jive the Pimp Turkey!
And Jive's Go-Go-Hoes are with him!"  Larry said pointed to the gang of
ladies surrounding the turkey with the pimp cane.  "There's going to be a
Disco Duel!"

Suddenly the Bee Gee song, 'Staying Alive' started to pound away from the
speakers.  The gila monster with the viking helmet pointed to the sky like
John Travolta and did a twirl.  Multi-Colored lights flickered through the

The Boogie Showdown of all Boogie Showdown had begun.  Everyone just stopped
what they were doing and stared as the Two Disco Titan's feet did battle on
the dance floor.

"Something's Wrong!" Rhonda said after a few minutes.  "Dr. Dance Magic is
losing it!  Jive the Pimp Turkey is just too good!  Dr. Dance Magic is being
out boogied!  I think he's given up.  He's just standing there on the dance
floor -- No wait!  He's got something.  It's a -- A broadsword!  He's going

There was a blood curdling scream.  Jive the Pimp Turkey's head lay in the
middle of the floor in a pool of blood.

"God!" Rhonda's face was full of horror.  "What's he doing!?  What's he
doing to that turkey!?"

"Must be dinner time," Larry replied.  "Told you, Sweet Cheeks.  He'll eat
you alive unless you're dead then he'll eat you dead."

End of 70's Flashback...

The gila monster with the viking helmet's mind returned to the present.  He
looked at the raft he was floating on full of stranger.  He decided that he

Arthur "Afternoon Delight" Spitzer

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