META: Personal problems

Adrian James McClure lord_soldeed at
Fri Mar 31 20:01:59 PST 2006

So just now I found that my aunt, who has had cancer for some time, has
just been placed on respiration.  Any of you who pray should pray for
her.  As to what this is going to do to my writing, who knows.  Maybe I
won't be able to write, maybe I'm going to be incredibly driven.  Right
now it feels selfish for me to write, especially for LNH.  In my mind I
know that it's not actually contradictory to have humor when
experiencing grief, but I can't feel it in my heart.  I feel right now
as if writing anything would require trying to ignore what's going on
and I don't want to.  I don't tend to write the kind of small-scale,
personal stuff that would be able to deal with the kind of emotions I'm
facing right now, though as I promised Tom I'd write some 8fold stuff
in the near future that might change.  Anyway, I'll shut up now because
all this talking about myself makes me feel dirty given what's
happening now.

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