LNHY: The Way-Cool Adventures of Dr. Cool J Dog! #1
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Thu Mar 30 20:41:08 PST 2006
The Way-Cool Adventures of Dr. Cool J Dog! #1
Billy looked depressed. "This is lame. Life is lame. I wish I were cool.
"You can say that again, Billy," Sally agreed. "I wish I had a bunch of
tattoos and body-piercings then I'd be super-cool."
Billy nodded his head. "And don't forget expensive designer clothes!"
"That goes without saying! I just wish there was an easy way to become
"Maybe we could start smoking grass or maybe do some smack!"
"Whoahh there, Kids!" The kids looked up to see who had interrupted them.
It was some big human like dog wearing a trenchcoat, sunglasses, and a bunch
of gold chains carrying a Tenor Sax! "You don't want to do that!"
"But how else are we ever going to be super-cool?"
"Look Kids, Smack and Grass -- that's for rich people like myself! You need
some major dough if you're going to get a drug habit! Which is cool, but
you should know that there are FREE ways to become a Hep Dog like myself!"
"Really?! A Free Way to becoming cool?!" they said in unison.
"Totally! Have you Kids ever heard of LNHY?"
"The LNHY? What's that?"
"It's this major swinging hep imprint on RACC! And get this -- Anyone can
write for it! And when you start writing for it you're on your way towards
"Wow!! Really?! Hipster Nirvana??"
"Way! Writing for LNHY may just be cooler than smoking pot while injecting
yourself with heroin!!"
"That sounds super-cool!!"
"Yep. And when you start writing LNHY stories you'll be joining a bunch of
cool heads like: Saxon "Boomerang" Brenton, Martin "Rock n'Roll" Phipps, and
Arthur "So Cool He Doesn't Have a Nickname!" Spitzer!"
"Wow! And we don't have to pay anything?!"
"Nope! In fact if you write an issue of 'Looniverse Y' and have one of your
characters join up with the LNHY Legion of Net.Heroes you'll get an issue of
the never posted before 'Omaha Project: The Unusable Issue'!"
"Wow!! Really?! Is it any good??"
"I don't know. Haven't read it. But just having it makes you Officially
Super-Swinging-Cool-Hep Cats!! And isn't that what's truly important?!"
"I guess so. Say, which LNHY series do you write?"
"Ummm..." Dr. Cool J Dog glanced at his watch. "Sorry, I've got to go Kids.
Got this coke sex orgy party I need to attend. But remember, Kids, be cool.
"Wow! I feel like not giving this any critical thought and just doing
exactly what he just said so I can finally be super-cool!!" Billy said.
"I know! Me too!" Sally agreed.
Arthur "Shameless" Spitzer
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